Chapter 21 Ridiculous Love

On the way back home, Rena cursed Alina's name over and over. Leena knew how short-tempered Rena could be, but she also knew how quickly she got over her temper. So she decided to let her be. It had been a rough day for the both of them, after all. The taxi driver, on the other hand, couldn't stand it anymore. He had his own problems to think of, and he certainly did not have the energy to put up with grumpy customers. Glaring at the two girls in his backseat, he said, "Miss, can you stay quiet for a while? I've been hearing you swear since the moment you got in. It's kind of painful to the ears, you know."

However, this just served to irritate Rena even more, as though she'd just blown a fuse. "Damn it!" she exploded. "It's none of your business. It's not like I'm shouting at you, anyway."

"You're affecting my emotions, lady!" The taxi driver growled, slamming his foot on the brakes.

"Fucking hell!" Rena screamed before getting out of the cab. Leena got off on the other side, worried her friend might do something stupid. The taxi driver didn't even bother to charge them. Immediately after they got off, he started his car again briskly and drove off in search of more peaceful customers. Just as Rena was about to hail another cab, Leena grabbed her arm. "Why are you stopping me?"

Rena looked at her friend with big, confused eyes. "Let's go for a walk," Leena pleaded.

Rena could see that she was trying her best to hold in her tears. Taking a deep breath, she willed herself to calm down for the sake of her best friend. They started to walk. No one spoke for a while. Rena scowled quietly, searching for the right words to say. "I've been thinking," she started to say, "about how to get revenge for us. Those bastards deserve a beating, I don't care how. To hell with Jimmy and Alina!"

Leena did not answer. Instead, she kept on walking aimlessly. Her mind was wandering far from her body. Rena took her hand and squeezed it, bringing her back to her senses. "Why aren't you saying anything? Are you just going to let everything be?" Rena frowned.

"It's not that I don't feel anything," Leena said. "It's just, I am confused right now. I don't quite understand the whole situation."

"What can't you understand?" Rena asked pointedly. "All we need to do is take revenge!"

"Once... I thought he loved me. I really thought he did," Leena said weakly, her voice trailing off. Her eyes revealed a deep sadness in her heart. "That night at the Heaven Hotel, we saw each other... He was drunk... I recognized him instantly. It had been nine years, Rena. I could still tell it was him, even from afar! Later that night, Spencer told me that Miguel had a girl in his heart. He said nobody could replace her. I ridiculously thought it was me!" she whined.

Recalling what happened made Leena feel ashamed. She lowered her head and sighed. "That night, when I was about to leave the hotel, I sensed someone was following me," she continued. "I didn't know who it was, I couldn't even make out the figure-- I just knew someone was following me. I went to the bathroom to call you to pick me up. I didn't expect to run into Miguel outside the bathroom. I was afraid to be recognized by him, so I wanted to leave. But he held my hand and called out my name. The way he said my name made me feel like we were kids again. I felt like he loved me. If he didn't, then why would he remember me and be so excited seeing me again? He went back to the hotel every following night, according to my colleague. I wasn't there, because I had to prepare for my exams in school. When I came back for my shift, he was there, waiting for me! That night, we confessed to each other, as silly as it sounds... He even sent me home, and said that he wanted to arrange another job for me. I told him about the situation of my family, and then we said goodbye. After that, he just drove away."

Leena looked into the distance in a daze, her eyes glazed over. "I was very disappointed that night. He was always like that — so unpredictable. I could never tell what he was feeling or thinking, and it made me so insecure. He didn't show up in the days that followed. So, one day, I woke up and decided to go on this blind date that my mom had set up for me. Then, Miguel suddenly appeared out of nowhere and confessed his love for me. There it was again, his unpredictability. Like tides that are ever-changing... The ocean is beautiful with its crashing waves, but it never feels safe. That's how

I felt with him. It was not until Alina entered the picture that I realized how stupid I was. Miguel dated so many women. We were never on the same page. He was so careless with how he treated me. I was so in love that I grew complacent. I kept telling myself that he loved me, despite his mixed signals. I convinced myself that maybe he was just too busy on some days. I don't know, Rena, I was so confused!"

Leena smiled bitterly. "Hey, I think I'm the most ridiculous person in the world. He's probably laughing at me right now, having enjoyed playing with my feelings." Even Spencer, who knew everything, didn't try to tell her the truth and stop their relationship.

"Miguel is a son of bitch. You don't have to be so torn up because of him!" Rena scolded, as if her scathing words would change anything.

Leena just shook her head. "I just don't understand why he lied to me like this. If he didn't really love me, why did he date me? To pass the time? Was he that bored?" she joked. Although Leena tried to make it seem like this situation was but a simple blip in her life, Rena could tell she was broken inside. She too was puzzled as to why Miguel would do such a thing. After all, they had known each other since they were children.

The girls let the silence seep in the spaces no words could fill. Rena was afraid she might say something that would make Leena feel worse.

"You know how much I like him, right?" Leena pressed on. "Which means you know that I would have been glad to see him being with the woman he loves, if he had just told me the truth. I just don't get why he had to hurt me like that! I've always looked up to him, even as a child. I admired him for his good character, for how organized and neat he seemed compared to the other rich kids. He was also nice to me and his friends. What happened to him? I'm just really disappointed! "

As Leena finished rambling, tears began to roll down her cheeks. She quickly faced away from her friend to wipe her face. She thought she was strong enough to stay calm and tough. She did not want her friend to see her as someone weak and vulnerable. That was her role, to be the bigger sister to Rena. Crying would totally shatter her image as the stronger one.

However, it seemed the tables had turned now. Rena gently hugged her. "If you want to cry, just cry. There is no need to try so hard to be strong in front of me. Besides, I already know how strong you are. But that doesn't mean you aren't human."

As Leena leaned against her shoulder, her tears began to stream down her face uncontrollably. Rena continued, "I know you're sad. It must be so difficult for you. That's completely valid. That's also how I felt with Jimmy." Suddenly, she cried as well. "I can't believe I still love him this much, while he can go a day without even thinking about me. We've been together for so many years!"

Rena and Leena held each other tightly and ignored the people who saw them like that. They both knew that crying would help ease the pain, as though their tears would cleanse their soul.

After having gathered their bearings, Leena had to go home for dinner. It was a Wednesday, after all. It was family tradition for her to go home, despite it being very far from her school, every Wednesday. Leena asked if Rena wanted to join them, but she had a tea class at 7 o'clock so she politely declined. After they both calmed down, Rena returned to school while Leena went straight home. Her mother asked about Miguel. "Why hasn't he come to our house yet? Is he usually very busy?"

Leena did not want her mother to worry, so she decided not to tell her the truth. Besides, she was almost late for work and did not have time to explain. "Yeah, he is extremely busy. Mom, please don't ask about him again."

Mrs. Yang wondered why. "I just wanted to ask him how he has been doing in the past years. After all, we used to live in the same area."

"Well, don't worry. He's living a good life. I'm confident he'll be fine since he has his father," Leena said with a dismissive wave of her hand. Quickly, she changed topics.

After dinner, Leena washed her face and put on light make-up. She picked up her bag and was about to go out for work. She quickly scanned her room to check if she had everything she needed, then she stopped when her eyes landed on the fox doll Miguel gave her. She was so lost in her thoughts that her phone's sudden ringtone scared her. Checking her phone, she froze. It was Miguel calling.