Chapter 46 - To Ask Ren

Perhaps, they could sense that I wanted to be alone because they all left silently. I sighed loudly when I heard the sound of the door closing behind me. I should go out and find something to do. I can’t stay holed up in here avoiding Ren forever.

Not surprisingly, the person I ran into when I headed to the central living room was Shin. When I saw his face, I immediately felt guilty when I thought of how my thoughtless actions almost put his life at risk. I hoped Ren kept his promise of forgetting everything related to what he saw. I honestly didn’t want Shin to regret what he did when he was just trying to be kind to me.

I greeted Shin with a polite smile and bowed. In return, Shin smiled at me. He seemed normal so I guess Ren did keep his end of the promise after all.

“Good morning, Rin,” Shin greeted me politely.

“Same to you,” I replied.

“Would you like to join me for some tea? I’ll get the maid to bring us some,” Shin suggested.

I guess if we had tea together here with some maids present then it wouldn’t be seen as inappropriate.

“That would be nice…” I agreed.

Shin gestured to the seat opposite him at the table and I sat down opposite him as beckoned. Shin called for the maid and soon enough our tea was served. The maid then stood at the further corner of the room in case we needed her assistance.

“You look a little tired,” Shin commented as he sipped his tea.

“Do I?” I asked, bringing up my arm to use the long sleeve of my dress to high a part of my face.

“Don’t worry. You look just fine,” Shin quickly reassured me.

“Maybe you’re right. I am…a little bit tired...” I whispered.

“Hang in there. The army assigned to escort you and the prince back to the imperial palace will be here tomorrow. You can head back then,” Shin said comfortingly.

“I see. That’s great news,” I said. It would be good to head back.

“Is something on your mind?” Shin asked perceptively.

“A little…” I whispered.

“Let me guess. Did you get into a fight with Ren?” Shin asked knowingly. I guess there was no point in lying to him.

“I guess…” I replied softly.

“Well, since I guess that I’m partially to blame for causing you two to fight, I’ll tell you a little something…about Ren,” Shin said, his tone suddenly serious.

“About Ren?” I asked, curiously.

“You probably think that Ren is a cold and heartless person…and perhaps you’re partly right. However, as someone who has known him and grew up by his side since childhood, I can guarantee that Ren has a good heart and that he means well…to everybody. Ren has had a difficult life despite being the crown prince of such a large empire, although, the empire wasn’t this powerful or strong until Ren fought at his father’s side and then led his armies,” Shin said.

“Ren…had a difficult life?” I asked, confused.

“Being born as the crown prince surely has its privileges which are well known to all, but few understand the hardship and struggles that Ren had to face starting at such a young age. The responsibility and expectation placed on him were severe. To make matters worse, Ren’s…circumstances also made it even more difficult for him,” Shin continued to explain.

“What do you mean?” I asked for more details.

“Umm…I guess I’m not the right person to tell you all the details but let’s just say that he didn’t have a lot of support when he was a child. However, Ren was always excellent at everything he did, perhaps even now as well. Despite everything, I honestly believe that Ren only does things with the wellbeing of his people in mind,” Shin said with conviction.

“His people…” I muttered. What about those who were not ‘his people’?

“Every soul living on his lands including those he had conquered are his people. You and the people from your town included. I’m sure Ren has a good reason for everything that he does although it could be hard to see at first. If you’ll just give yourself more time to get to know Ren; I’m sure you’ll come to understand him,” Shin said before flashing me a sincere smile.

“I’ll…think about it. Thank you,” I replied a little hesitantly. I wasn’t sure how I should be reacting to Shin’s passionate little speech.

“Actually, I met Ren earlier and he didn’t seem to be in the best of moods. If I may dare ask, what did you say to him?” Shin asked with a shy smile.

It’s not like I didn’t trust Shin or that I didn’t want to tell him but, honestly, I just didn’t know where to start. I said a lot of things to Ren and although I did not regret any of it because it was what I honestly felt and thought, I could see how some of the things I said could be hurtful to Ren.

“I…disagreed with him when he said that it would be best if he became the emperor…” I said slowly.

“And?” Shin prompted.

“…and…that many people had died from the wars he started and that more will die from the future wars that he will wage…on other lands…” I continued.

“I see. Well, I guess I can see where you’re coming from…” Shin said as he stroked his chin in thought.

“Thanks…” I said flatly.

“But let me ask you one thing and you don’t have to answer me. You said that you didn’t believe that Ren would be the best option for the next emperor…how do you know that?” Shin asked as he cocked his head a little to the side in wonder.

“Because he’ll wage war and many more people will die. There will never be peace!” I declared.

“That’s not what I meant. How do you know that Ren isn’t the best option when you don’t even know what the other options are?” Shin said with a small chuckle.

I didn’t know what the other options were. I realized with suddenly that Shin was at least partly right, I didn’t know how the empire would turn out if someone else other than Shin took over. However, who else could possibly take over when Ren was the crown prince?

“…What do you mean?” I asked, clearly confused.

“It’s simple. If you want to know, ask Ren…” Shin said with a calculating smile.

“But I…” I said hesitantly before biting my lower lip.

How could I just simply ask Ren? I didn’t know how to face him after what happened between us last night and the argument that we had…

As far as I knew, we weren’t exactly on speaking terms.

--To be continued…