Chapter 208: Deep Thinking

"How are the reforms of the other kingdoms?" I asked Lagrima.

"Good. Nothing has changed that much. Its still the same thing." Lagrima replied.

I let out an exasperated sigh and pinched the top of my nose. "For now, it'll just be the waiting game. And I'm tired of playing that game. I haven't done anything for the past six months and all I've been doing is sitting here."

"Because that is what a king does."

"I like the idea of being the Demon King, but its responsibilities are just a pain in the ass. I don't wanna do this anymore honestly..."

"Then what will you do?"

"I'll leave this place. I'll come back in a few days."

"But the order in this place will go out of control with you! Their Demon King!"

"I'll leave it up to you nonetheless. Rift, Open!" As if I sliced through reality itself, a portal appeared in front of me.

"Hey Zieglin-" Lagrima tried to reach out to me but I jumped before he could do anything.

"I'll be back." I hopped on the portal and the world suddenly turned dark. I closed my eyes letting the flow of the portal teleport me to the place where I want to go. As soon as I opened my eyes, a bright white light was blinding my eyes. But it disappeared once I got fully transported back at the overworld. At Izgoy. At the same place where I left, the place where we all split up.

I was about to go out but as soon as I touched the door, it was instantly incinerated into nothingness. I took a look at my arm trying to find what was wrong then I suddenly remembered that I was in Demon Form. "Dispel." Seems like I've been spending too much time in that form.

I went outside and saw Lam standing in front of the door. "My, I thought this place is doomed."

"Lam? Why are you here?"

"Your entire aura was felt just a second ago, I was nearly suffocated by your power. Be careful next time."

"Sorry, I will." So that's how what the demons around me feel? Hmm... I never thought that.

"So, what made you return? Are your quests finished?"

"No, not yet. The hell is a bit busy."

"Where's lord Afal?"

"...He'll manage." I simply forgot. "I'll call on him later. Contact all the Crimson Knights. We're having a meeting. A week from now on."

"I'll do so with my message skill. Take your time here at the overworld."

"Thanks."

I took a walk outside and tried to calm myself down. The horrors I've seen in hell is horrible and unforgettable. And that's coming for someone who have just seen it. And not experienced it. But nothing in my heart aches.

I can look at their deaths like it was nothing. Not a single ounce of pity or humanity wasn't present within my body. It won't give me traumatic memories or feelings about it. But the sadness of not being able to feel anything is just hitting within me. Again and again.

I'm no longer human.

That's why I wanted to take a walk, like I was a normal person. "[Shapeshift] Za Fa Rah Ma Ga!" I changed my face into a more different face with a different hair color.

I can't believe it... The old me would've slapped me right now. That man who wanted to get out his job is finding a way to get back to that.

A search for normalcy from the man that wanted this world in the first place. How laughable.

I was once the man who hated pain, now I want it.

I was once the man who wanted to feel his life to be unique, now I want normalcy.

I was once the man who wanted to fight yet now I'm sick of it.

I could be as well saying... I wished to not be here. I wish that I was still back there.

Waking up to an alarm clock at seven AM in the morning, drinking my coffee, brushing my teeth, showering then heading off to my boring work. A seven AM to nine AM of work... Then going home in that room where no one is waiting for me but my bed.

The cycle repeats... but that's how I was supposed to live until I was given this second chance. That I thought I wanted but... never needed in the first place.

Fighting...

I need to continue fighting... fighting and fighting just to undo all these things I've done and everyone will do in this world. I'm tired. At least I'll have all these free time.

I spent the next seven days just being with everyone. Being a nobody. The warmth that I felt was nothing of the fire in the battles I fought.

That's why I need to defeat Ouroboros, so that his plans won't affect the people of this world.

That's why I need to defeat the Tartarus tower so that the monsters won't spawn.

And that's why I will go up against any god to end this cycle of battle royale. This isn't something that one should experience or live to. This cycle is nothing but a curse. Not a blessing or a second life.

I could no longer feel pain but I could feel their emotions. Their happiness was deep engraved into me.

Their smiles was something I hated.

Because I was jealous of it. Their naiveness was something I yearned for. How could they live on like this, not having a care in the world. Was it because I hold too much information to the point that I know every possibility that could happen? I'm pretty sure that was the reason.

But even though I hated their smiles, I couldn't hate them. They just give me a reason to pursue my goals. To fight for peace that I yearn. Someday, I'll get that normalcy that I once threw away for this stupid fantasy world that I never needed. Since in the first place, I never needed this fantasy world, all I needed was company in my own lonely world.

"Sire, they're here." Lam instantly saw through my shapeshift.

I looked at the villagers around me and let out an exasperated sigh. It seems that the week of normalcy I had was the best ones that I've lived yet. But no matter what happens, I am still that monster. The monster that needs to fight for freedom. "Hmm... interesting. Alright, I'll go to them now." I replied.

I changed back to my old form then moved into a more secret location then opened up a Rift Portal to hell and dragged here Afal.

The both of us changed into our normal forms and went on to the conference room to talk about our progress. It was a happy moment, seeing them all there all again after all these months.

It gives me life and some sort of happiness inside that I have someone beside me. "Welcome back everyone. Our goals aren't still done but we're already half a year in. So I wanted to hear everyone's results. I also wanted to hold this meetings since Zeta and Greta just got married."

Everyone clapped for the two of them. But it seems that they had something to say. So Zeta was the first one to say something. "Everyone... thank you for the applause, but I have another thing to say to each and everyone of you."

Greta took a deep breath then rubbed her stomach. "I'm... pregnant."

Everyone's baffled face suddenly turned into a happy one. The girls ran over to Greta while the guys went over to Zeta to congratulate them. But something in me wasn't right.

I felt a silent rage slowly raising up through my body. Questions like, how can they fool around like this when there's a war slowly going on? Getting married before a giant war? But no matter how much I hated how they can just fool around in the middle of all the things that was going on, I was merely jealous of how much freedom they have.

I desperately want that freedom.

And they have that. And I won't take that away from them. So the only answer that I shall take is this. I love them too much for this decision for me to make. So the only way to protect them is this. I won't take their freedom away. And the normalcy that they have. I'll give it to them.

I am supposed to feel happy when I heard their news. But no... as much as I love them, I need to say this. So say it! SAY IT! I NEED TO SAY IT!

No matter how painful it is, I need to protect them. In my own way. I need to. "Zeta, Greta."

"Hmm?" The both of them looked at me.

Ah, ah. I never thought that I'd say this. "I strip you of our family name and the slave contract. Leave. You're no longer part of the Crimson Knights."