1 The life and death of Izan

Europe – 2018

Izan XXXXXX was an ordinary person in many people's eyes. He was 21 years old, he had silky dark hair, slightly tanned skin and possessing a lean but strong body. In all fairness, Izan had almost never suffered any grievance or suffering since young age. He had a loving family and a couple of great friends by his side.

Even with all these things in his favour, something was far from okay…

In an apartment, Izan was laying on his bed with his hand trying to grab his chest, or more specially, his heart. He was gritting his teeth, but to no avail. After a couple of minutes, Izan sighed out helplessly, his shiny brown eyes showed no emotions, only showing an empty shell of his true self.

No one knew about it, Izan made sure to hide his true thoughts only to himself. Izan had been suffering from depression, and of one kind that has been hurting him physically and mentally greatly over the years. He had slowly lost interest to the world and his smile which was beautiful vanished. But, that was not all, at any given moment, from the second he woke up to the second he fell asleep, he would always feel his heart aching.

Izan had been thinking of committing suicide for a long time, but he never did so because he knew if he did so, his family would grief beyond what he could possible think. Therefore, Izan had been trying his best from not committing suicide, but that did not mean he wouldn't think about it. Far from it, there were days he was thinking of killing himself for nearly 17 hours.

"… I am tired…" Izan sighed as he weakly mumbled. Yes, Izan was tired. He was tired of everything.

In the next second, a glint of madness appeared in his eyes, following by an emotion of grief and lastly avoid of all feelings. Izan shook his head slightly before sighing. This was another thing he never wanted to tell anyone, because he knew this wasn't a normal way for a person in the era to think.

"I want. I want to rule. Being a leader, a master, a king, an emperor, a god…" Izan slowly closed his eyes as he held his chest once again. Izan wished to rule everything. No, more like, it was to the point that Izan believed that he must rule everything. He felt more heartache, not even knowing why, a tear escaped from the corner of his eye.

Luckily, Izan didn't see or feel that tear, or he would have felt devastated. Because he couldn't cry when his first friend died. Nor when he visited his twin brother's grave. Izan has met with a lot of situations that would make people cry their hearts out, but Izan was never able to feel sad and cry about it.

Slowly but surely, Izan fell into sleep…

A day passed by, Izan's family tried to call him but to no avail. Even his elder sister went to his apartment, ringing on his door and knocking on the door. After hours passed by, she called the manager of the apartment, hoping that he could open the door.

The moment the door was opened, what welcomed their sights was Izan laying on his bed, his skin was pale as paper. His elder sister hurriedly rushed towards him, she swiftly called the ambulance after seeing him not breathing.

On September 24th, Izan XXXXXX passed away in his sleep alone in his apartment.