Chapter 419: The Woman She Has Become

But she couldn't even be mad. Not even when he grabbed her ankles and yanked her down the bed to him. Her playful husband was back. That meant that she hadn't ruined their weekend. Not only had she gotten what she needed to say off her chest, something that should have started a storm. But it didn't. 

It was one of those moments where one can feel just how far they had come. 

"I have to get at you while you are still soft and warm and sleepy…" He leaned over the bed to hover over her. She wrapped her arms around him, holding him close as his lips moved across her neck. "You know how much I love that."

"You are in a good mood this morning."

"I am." He kissed her behind her ear before pulling back to look down at her. "And I want to thank you for last night?"

His reaction was starting to seem too good to be true. She tried not to get her hopes up but failed miserably. 

"Thank me? For my bad timing?" she asked. 

"For the woman you have become. For not pushing me to talk last night. The people we were before… we would have gone off the handle and demanded things from one another. But last night, you thought about me first and what I needed. Even though I know it wasn't easy for you, you gave me the space I required."

It wasn't the answer she cautiously hoped for but it was more than she could ask for. 

"Our therapist would be proud, huh?"

Qingchen chuckled. 

"Well… I know my reaction wasn't perfect, bu—"

She put her finger over his lips, silencing him. "We're not perfect, Qingchen. We're still human and your reaction was completely fair." Then he was back at her neck again as she played with his hair, thinking there was nowhere else in the world she would rather be in that moment. 

"And thank you for letting me be with you last night," he muttered into her ear.

"You can be with me any time you want," she whispered back. 

Calling her bluff, he moved his lips in a trail down her breasts. She laughed and played along until he kissed down her stomach. 

"Well, not right now!" she laughed. "I need to brush my teeth and take a shower."

"Such a tease," he sighed. 

"Do you really want to go down there after coming in me twice last night?" she challenged. 

"Point taken."

He rolled her over and smacked her ass. Maybe, for the first time, she really knew how strong they were together. 

Stronger than either of them on their own. 

- - - - - -

A weekend she had thought would be awkward was one of the best in her life. Qingchen and she had agreed not to discuss the baby bombshell for the remainder of the week. He needed time, so they weren't going to come to a conclusion. 

Qian Meng was able to enjoy the time with her husband a lot more without having the weight on her chest. 

The first day they can grab an appointment, they arrive at the psychiatrist's office. It had been two weeks since they returned home and they had barely touched the topic. 

Perhaps it was because of how well they handled the situation that she wasn't prepared for the bluntness with which Qingchen spoke to the doctor. 

"Is it fair to say you were shocked by Qian Meng's desire to have a child?" the doctor asked. 

"Yes," he responded without needing the time to think. 

"Why is that?"

"Where do I begin?" he laughed. 

"What is the first thing that came to mind?"

He took a pause. "How we don't have the time."

"We didn't have time for each other when we first married, either," I interjected.

"That's different, Qian Meng."

She stared at him, and he looked down at his lap, almost in guilt, like he regretted saying it. 

"Let's focus on the topic at hand, people."

"Fine," Qian Meng agreed. 

"Mo Qingchen, it seems to me like we have identified the crux of your decision here. We know that things are not the same as when the two of you married and even though you didn't have time before, you make it now. What we need to determine is if you still feel like you can't make time for this particular thing."

He hummed. 

"Are children a deal-breaker for you?"

Qian Meng looked at him, but he wouldn't look at her. 

"No… No… I just…"

"You just what?" the doctor pressed. 

"I don't think Qian Meng and I would be good parents."

There it was. 

The exchange continued, but Qian Meng didn't hear what was said. Her mind was in overdrive to process what he had said. 

She could think of a thousand reasons why Mo Qingchen would be an excellent parent. But she hadn't considered that it wasn't just him. This had to do with her as well. 

Mo Qingchen didn't think he would make a good father and the worst part was, she couldn't argue with that. 

She knew she could be a good mother. She could learn, but why did she have to prove herself?

"Qian Meng, are you all right?"

"What?" she snapped out of her thoughts. "Sorry… I spaced out for a second."

"I was asking you what you thought about Mo Qingchen's opinion."

"Oh." She squeezed her eyes shut. "What did he say?"

"I said that we are still trying to find our footing as a couple."

She glanced over at him. He was eyeing her with concern. "We have been through so much, and it's like we are finally standing on solid ground. The thought of throwing something as important as a baby into the mix is a little overwhelming to think about."

She was quiet. 

"What do you think about that, Qian Meng?"

The truth was… she couldn't remember the last time she had been so drained. She felt melancholy. The high she had been on for the past two weeks vanished without a trace. 

What was there to say? Convince Mo Qingchen that they would be good parents? That having a child was easy?

"I don't have anything else to say."

The doctor stared at her for a long time and Qian Meng got the impression that they were waiting for her to continue. 

"Well," the doctor answered. "Maybe we should wrap up the session here."