Chapter 429: I Would Rather Be Shot

"You know, you are going to end up hurting your neck if you keep sleeping like that. There is a couch here and a comfortable recliner. I can get you a pillow." The offer would have been enticing to any other person. 

Mo Qingchen tried to muster a smile to offer the woman. The nurse seemed sweet and she had suggested the same the night before when he refused to sleep. 

"No, thank you."

Her expression was all knowing and there was not a shred of surprise. 

"I am sure the recliner is comfortable but it isn't close enough to her." He hated the sympathy that flashed in her eyes. 

"I understand," the woman said kindly. She left quickly, leaving him alone with his wife. And a pressing bladder. 

"I'll be right back, baby," he told her, turning to place a gentle kiss on her palm. He felt the subtlest twitch of her finger on his cheek. "Qian Meng?" he asked slowly, his gaze darting up to her pale eyelids. "Qian Meng, baby, can you hear me?"

But there was no response.

- - - - -

Mo Qingchen could only breathe and stare at her early in the morning. The constant beeps were all that could be heard. And then it happened. His reason to keep breathing, the keeper of his heart, opened her eyes and blinked twice. 

He would never forget the moment his wife opened her eyes. 

For more than thirty hours, his chest felt empty. Just seeing her collapse and waiting for her to wake up had completely gutted him. When he held her limp body in his arms, he actually felt like his heart was being ripped from his chest. 

The only way to describe the way he felt when he saw her open her eyes was that the sheer intensity had slammed his heart back into its right place. 

In the blink of an eye, the color in the world returned. 

"Oh my god," he sobbed, almost collapsing. 

If it hadn't been for the need to call the doctor immediately, he would have fallen to the floor like a useless heap of limbs. He was lightheaded from the sheer elation that his wife was alive and awake. 

Qian Meng closed her eyes again after blinking a few times. But it didn't matter. "It is perfectly normal for everything to be very hazy right now."

Qingchen wanted to run to her and smother her in hugs and kisses, but he resisted. He stayed where he was, his hands clenched in fists as tears flowed freely down his cheeks.

She breathed out deeply before opening her eyes once more, though they didn't focus on anything in particular. In a flash, the doctor produced a tiny flashlight from his pocket and flicked it on. 

"Mrs. Mo, you have been asleep for some time. Can you follow the light for me?"

Although, it took her some time to register what was being asked, Qingchen watched with a beaming but teary smile as her eyes slid back and forth following the light. 

When the doctor turned the light off, her eyes focused on him right away. The longing and desperation in her gaze broke his heart. 

"Qingchen," she croaked, barely anything more than a breath.

"Please," he cried. "Just let me touch her…"

The doctor obliged with a kind smile. "You can touch her. Just be gentle and speak softly. We will allow more visitors after the charts are filled out."

Mo Qingchen scurried to her side wordlessly and leaned over her, pressing hurried kisses to her forehead and cheek. 

"Baby," he whimpered, crying all over her face. "You're awake. You came back to me…"

He vaguely registered the doctors and nurses retreating, giving him a minute. 

"Are—" She started to speak but then stopped to clear her throat. "Are you okay?"

That only made him cry harder. "How are you asking me if I am okay?" He was completely baffled by the thought. 

"Don't leave," she croaked next. It was a peculiar thing to say. 

"I am not going anywhere," he answered as he took her face gently in his hands. "I am right here."

She sighed, sounding relieved before she closed her eyes. 

"I am going to get you some water, Mrs. Mo," the doctor announced as he grabbed her chart and made a quick exit.

At first, the whole thing was like a dream. And then it hit him. The moment it actually hit him; he almost fell to his knees. The people in the room left. And he couldn't argue. For a long moment, only his cries filled the room. And then he felt Qian Meng's hand in his air. 

"Shh…" she whispered and the fact that she was comforting him made him sob harder. 

"I am so sorry." He turned to look at her. 

"Qingchen," she looked back at him with tear-filled eyes. "Please. Don't cry." 

He took a shaky breath, trying to compose himself. He surveyed her face, trying to convince himself that it was real.

"I can't help it. I thought I had lost you." Slowly, he felt somewhat in control of himself. 

"I'm here. I fought really hard to stay here with you. Did you see?"

He jolted at the information. He had an inkling that it was the case, but now his suspicions had been confirmed. 

"I love you." He scrambled to say. "You don't even know." He cupped her cheeks with his hand, stroking the corner of her eyes. "Thinking I had lost you was like having my insides ripped out. Worse."

"It's selfish…" She paused before swallowing. "Is it selfish that I thank the universe that I am in my position and not yours?"

"What?"

"I would rather fight to come back to you. I would rather be in this hospital bed than know what it was like to think I had lost you and had no way of knowing…"

Qingchen nodded, laughing softly through his tears. "Yes," he agreed. "I would rather be shot at than go through the last thirty-something hours again."

Her eyes stayed closed for longer this time as her breathing slowed down. Just as he thought she was sleeping, she spoke again.