Chapter 18 - Banana-Split On A Branching Briar Forest Path

In the wildlands due north of Acquama Lake, a new type of creature stirred. Signs were posted all along the road, vehemently warning of a "Furry Menace" and "Bramble Bandits," in a thick bramble forest up ahead.

And Akira's [Big Business Tie] was pointing directly through it.

"No. It looks dangerous," Vash said, crossing his arms with a skeptical face. "I say, we're better off taking the long way around."

Akira shook her head, making a cross with her arms. "No detours! We go straight through, like the brave company of adventurers we are!" Because more damage equaled more monsters. More monsters equaled more cultivation EXP and level-ups. More experience and level-ups meant Akira would be one step closer to raping the Azure Oracle.

While Akira was getting fired up at the thought, Vash sighed, sensing that nothing he could say would possibly dissuade her when she was in this state.

He cast a sideways glance at Ai. "I don't suppose you'll support me in this?"

Ai smiled innocently at him. "Actually!" she exclaimed, then turned to Akira with a sheepish smile. "I think the Know-It-All Mage is right, Big Sis."

Akira gasped. "Betrayed by my own precious little sister?! I won't have it!" Without warning, she lifted Ai up, carrying her under her arm as she kicked and squirmed. "Go ahead and take your detour, 'Know-It-All-Mage!'" Akira taunted. "Just know that life doesn't favor those who take shortcuts."

Vash watched her go, sighing to himself. "My my, she's certainly become spirited all of a sudden." He bore a sly smirk. "Those two must've had fun together, last night."

Akira & Ai's Route:

Initially, the path through the forest appeared harmless enough. Some [Level 4] [Tusk Boar] prowled the dry bushes, but their simple headlong charge attacks posed little threat to the combined tactics of Akira and Ai. Such that after felling their fifth boar, with a single arrow shot between the eyes, the quiet forest was filled with Akira's triumphant laughter. "Too easy!"

"Wow!" Ai jumped for joy, her incredible purple-dyed ponytail bouncing with her. "Big Sis is such an amazing shot!" Subsequently, as the felled boar then evaporated into a cloud of pixels, she went to retrieve the dropped arrow it left behind while Akira stood by grinning, watching her tail wiggle behind her.

'This is the life,' she thought contentedly. 'Shooting boars in the woods, with my hot loli girlfriend complimenting me.'

Said "hot loli girlfriend" had just picked up the dropped arrow, turning to Akira with a giggle. "Lookie, lookie! I got the arr—WAH!" Suddenly, a rope trap that was previously concealed within the grass snagged around her ankle. "Ah, Big Siiiis!" She squealed in terror, as she was then rapidly hoisted into the air to hang, upside down, from a branch.

"Ai-chan!" Akira gawked, watching as she dangled helplessly from the tree.

"Don't just stand there, fucking moron!"

"R-r-right!" Akira drew a [Hunting Knife] she'd bought at the vendor in town, rushing to her aid.

But then, the ground beneath her caved. And she fell—hard—into a deep pit. A chaotic banter of animalistic hoots and hollers filled her ears, coming from above. Followed by a group of [Level 8] [Hungry Macaque] poking their heads into view, peering down the pit at her.

"Oho!" One of the monkeys said at the sight of her. "Lord Sugary will be most pleased with this one!" With another chiming in, huffing between words: "Very...large...meat bags..."

Akira's ears drooped as she frowned in dismay, simultaneously making an attempt to cover her cleavage with her crossed arms. "Yeah? Well, my 'meat bags' aren't for sale!" she snapped, lifting up her bow to take aim and shoot as the monkeys hollered in amused glee, sounding like rollicking cheers as they easily evaded her arrow shots and pelted rocks in turn, until it was enough to force a cease in her attacks so that she could shield her face.

All the while, Ai could be heard struggling: "Big Sis, help! They're taking me away!"

Just as Akira opened her mouth, she felt a sudden sting to the back of her neck. Reaching with her hand to investigate, she traced her finger along the shaft of a dart which had pierced her.

"Shit." 

Her head was swimming. 

Her limbs felt like noodles, and collapsed out from under her.

She fell into a daze. "Why is everything in this world...'hungry?'" she mumbled incoherently, her consciousness fading fast.

Vash's Route:

Meanwhile, Vash was taking a pleasant stroll, humming and whistling with a cheerful bounce to his step through a meadow of flowers that danced in the pleasant breeze. The only enemy mobs in sight being the occasional [Level 1] [Well-fed Rabbit], which never attacked unless provoked.

The serenity of his surroundings gave Vash some much-welcome time to think, away from all of Akira's callous flaunting and Ai's 'Big Sis' bullshit.

'Still, it's been incredible to watch her grow into such a confident player!' he considered with a firm nod. Although, despite the genuinely sincere meaning behind this train of thought, he nonetheless felt an undesirable growth in his nether regions.

'Damn it! If only I could stop thinking about her breasts, even when I'm trying to be all sagely.' he groaned. 'I should only think of her as my precious student, and nothing else! And yet…'

But then he got to thinking about Ai. About how close the two had 'bonded' in such a short time.

'I am a bit jealous of that stupid, sexy little gremlin, I'll admit.I thought I'd be fine with her joining us at first, but it makes me sick seeing how touchy-feely they get with each other all the time, knowing they've already cultivated.'

He sighed, as the aforementioned growth was continuing to expand at an alarming rate—if only he knew a spell to make unwanted boners disappear! 

'Well, it's possible one exists. Everything's so perverted in this world, so I wouldn't be surprised.' But then, he was struck by an increasingly rare spark of ambition, which granted him a far more scintillating idea: 'That's it! I should just go out and find myself a girlfriend, to use up all these annoying boners!'

Just as he was thinking this, though, a noise of breaking tree branches emancipated Vash from his own meandering mind. 

'It's...a person!' he realized. 'And it looks like they're in danger!'

A [Level 8] Human player, named [Kanna], was being chased out of the treeline by a pack of five [Hungry Macaque]. Equipped in low-level [Heavy Armor], which only the Warrior class could equip, consisted of a rough and battleworn wood-plated chestplate with an exposed muscular torso; sturdy shoulder protectors, gauntlets and legplates. Eschewing any bulky helmet: her streaming, pastel pink twin braids trailing in the air behind her, as she fled the pursuing primates.

Vash gasped. 'She's unarmed!' And, in his eagerness to help—and possibly date—this pretty female player in need, Vash immediately ran to her, conjuring a Fireball in his hand.

However, things weren't at all as they first seemed.

Because it was then that the girl, who at first appeared to be fleeing for her life, suddenly let out a loud battle cry—turning on her assailants with a brazen, murderous scowl. 

"Hiiiiiyaaaaaah!" she screamed, swinging a giant hammer she'd quickly pulled from her inventory: releasing a great, magical tempest that lifted the clueless animals, flinging them in all directions in a cyclone of screams and blood, and shredded tufts of shit-stained ape fur.

Vash watched in awe. Amazed, by the way she wielded the ridiculously large weapon, with perfect dexterity and grace—its business-end alone being almost the size of her entire body. Whacking and smashing the defenseless monkeys, reducing them into mere piles of gore and broken bones, before being unceremoniously 'poofed' out of existence.

It was love at first sight for Vash—there being nothing he loved more than a pretty girl who could thoroughly beat his ass.

Within a matter of seconds, all the macaques were disposed of. At which time, Vash eagerly approached her while she was kneeling on one knee to catch her breath. 

"You...what do you want?" she asked aggressively.

"Nothing, nothing!" Vash said quickly. Before then taking on a more relaxed, eloquent tone, with a sweeping bow: "I must commend you, milady," he said. "For it is a rare occasion, indeed, that I should come in contact with a woman of such impressive strength, and unparalleled beauty."

Kanna de-equipped her hammer, rising to meet him with arms crossed and  an angry glare. "Oh, yeah?" She huffed. "In that case, could you be so kind as to fuck off? I'm kind of busy right now, and you don't seem to want to help"—she shoved past him—"not that I need it."

"Mm. Feisty," Vash murmured to himself on the side, before dashing ahead of her to look upon her beautiful, notably freckled face again. "If I might ask, what business do you have with the apes?" He pointed to the forest from whence he'd seen her emerge. "Doesn't that way lead to the brambles?"

"Yup," Kanna said, pausing to chug an entire potion for what little amount of HP she'd lost. Then, wiping her mouth off across the length of her arm. "I'm luring the Macaques out of their village to kill them in small groups at a time, before they respawn."

"Oh?" Vash asked. "Is there something you're looking for in the village?"

He noticed her glance away as she blushed and crossed her legs. An unusual gesture, that struck him as being highly contrasted with the rugged, upfront demeanor she'd portrayed thus far.

She growled under her breath, "I have a score to settle. With their leader."

"Ah, I see." Vash scratched his head. "Well, my friends just went into that forest, even though I warned them it was too dangerous." He crossed his arms with an angry huff, bowing his head to let his hat's brim cast a shadow over his eyes. "If it's teeming with more of these Hungry Macaque, there's no way they'll be able to manage."

Kanna adjusted her neck, appearing nonchalant. "Sorry to break it to you, but it's probably too late. By now, those friends of yours must have fallen into a trap. If they've not already been reduced to pixels on the spot."

Vash was sweating. "Shit. Really?"

Kanna's brow furrowed. "Are your 'friends'...gals, by chance?"

Vash gave a limp nod in answer, to which Kanna responded with a smirk and an amused grunt. "Ara ara, I guess that's good news for you, then," she said, as her brimming yellow eyes became glazed over—her fiery hot, lively gaze, becoming cold and distant. "Not so much for them."

"Why's that? Wait—"

She proceeded toward the forest, as he trailed after. "It means there's a chance they'll be kept alive by King Sugary." She chuckled. 

"Whether they like it, or not."