Chapter 30 - Leaving The Village

Following the defeat of Sugary, Rumia returned with Akira and friends to the Macaque Village, where she was surprised to see how much had changed during Akira's tenure as Queen.

The streets were paved. The once shambled huts were in the process of being converted into proper brick and wood houses. The Macaque themselves, as a result of an ensuing cultural revolution, had taken to dressing in fine black tuxedos and elegant evening gowns, spending their evenings at high brow locally-run casinos, jazz joints, and flapper bars.

The sun was high in the sky as the two walked alone, side-by-side, through the village.

"I'll admit, I'm impressed with what you've done to the place." Rumia mused. "Building an entire economy from the ground up, centered around the abundance of bananas that grow in the briar forest"—she tilted her head toward Akira, with a sly grin—"It's ingenious."

Akira shrugged, smugly grinning. "What can I say? I was a top-ranking CEO in my past life. I know how to make a lot of money in a short amount of time."

She wasn't sure how they'd ended up walking alone like this, but it felt nice.

Pretending to brush a loose strand of hair behind her ear, Akira stole a glance at her and couldn't help admiring the Macaque Queen's graceful beauty. 

Primarily, that "motherly" ass and hips.

Akira could feel the blood rush to her face, her pulse quickening.

'She's...pretty cute. Small, but feisty.

'I'd be super depressed if my brother kidnapped her from me, too.'

They'd been walking for a while when Rumia suddenly stopped at a large tree with sprawling roots, at the center of multiple intersecting paths. 

"It looks...familiar," Akira said of the tree, stroking her chin in contemplation.

"It should," Rumia said. "It's the tree where Sugary's hut once was."

Akira gawked. That's right!

"What happened?"

"I had it torn down," she answered proudly, giving a small hint of a laugh—it catching in the back of her throat, as she gazed upon the tree with a face full of bitter sorrow. "That chapter is behind me now, thankfully, so it only felt right."

She turned to Akira, smiling warmly. "My boys are building me a whole palace, to celebrate my return."

Akita snorted, grinning. "Uh-oh."

"I know. But, I'm sure they'll do their best."

Her face then lit up, as though she'd just been reminded of something. 

"Actually," she said, proceeding to draw up her [Inventory]. "They might not do so badly after all, with how rapidly things are progressing in the village."

Akira was doubtful. "A chimp in a rocketship is still just a chimp."

"Oh, yeah? Well my chimps made this—"

She handed Akira something hard and plastic out of her inventory. It fit neatly into their hand with its sleek, ergonomic banana shape and design.

Akira was simultaneously confused, and horrified.

"Is this...a vibrator?!"

Rumia gave a shrill, simian laugh.

"No, silly! It's a prototype [Peelphone]: the dawn of a new frontier in telecommunications technology, developed through Macaque engineering"—she shrugged, with an amused smile—"which, I guess is something that exists now, thanks to you."

"So, it's like a cellphone...?" Akira asked, discovering she could "peel" it open, to reveal a banana-shaped, white plastic interior protrusion.

"More like a walky-talky," she replied, flashing another in her possession. "Currently, there are only these two in existence, which we can use to keep in touch no matter the distance between us."

She went on to demonstrate to Akira how it worked: by sucking onto the interior part, causing the other person's [Peelphone] to light up. At which time, if they started sucking on their [Peelphone] as well, a two-way communication between each person's thoughts would ensue.

'This is...kind of weird,' Akira said, feeling like a dumbass from having her lips wrapped around a fake banana so long.

'We can talk dirty like this, if you want.'

Akira glanced at her sharply, eyebrows raised.

'Don't look at me like I'm crazy.'

'You are crazy to even be suggesting that, though.'

'Nope. You want some of this royal snatch.'

'Eww. Please don't call it that.'

'My body—you want it."

Akira scoffed. "That is certainly a bold claim to make." Scratching the back of her head, she averted her gaze.

But Rumia was persistent.

'You've been eyeing me this entire time.'

'Oh?" she quickly said. "I was uhh, actually admiring how in-shape you are, considering—'

'It's easier to be a mother in this world, than the other. Weight loss is easy, pregnancy and child delivery are completely painless. And notice, we don't have periods?'

'Oh. I never thought about that before.'

'Obviously. Since you were a guy in your previous life.'

'How could you te—'

'Oh, please. My boys get the idiot gene from their father, not me!' She rolled her eyes. 'It's written right there, over your face: SexLover69!'

'Right. I should probably get that changed.'

'An Oracle can do it for you.'

'Gross. I hate those guys. The one in Acquama...technically raped me.'

'Technically? What…?'

'Never mind. It's complicated.'

Rumia removed the Peelphone from her mouth suddenly. "Why are we still talking with these, still?"

Akira slowly removed hers as well.

"Pshhh!" Akira waved dismissively. "Hah! You thought I was having dirty thoughts, about a married woman who gave birth to an entire village worth of monkies?"

She gave a sultry grin. "A widower, now." 

"Okay, so you have a point. But still, it's probably too soon for you to be—"

Just then, without warning, Rumia pulled Akira in with a quick but passionate kiss. In this way, communicating her true feelings more succinctly than words ever could, but promptly ending it right before it could evolve into anything serious.

Akira gave her a winded look after, their faces still intimately close. "Wow."

Rumia replied in a breathy whisper, "I'm not usually like this, but"—her wrinkly monkey hands grasped hungrily at Akira's face, even as she visibly struggled to retain her poise—"I just know that nothing turns me on more than a woman who can take charge of a situation."

Akira grinned, her mouth wide open with heavy breaths; as now, she felt she understood Rumia.

"It must've been Hell," she said.

"What do you mean?"

"Being forced to fuck that monkey bastard for so long."

She nodded. "Yes." Breathing heavy, too.

Then, their lips met again. Only this time, it was mutual.

Meanwhile, Ai, Kanna, and Vash were convened at the spousal hut. They were gathered around the dining table, sharing a plateful of [Banana Fritters] while waiting on Akira to return.

Vash was discussing what their plans were going forward.

"I suppose our business is done, here. So our next move is to just continue following Akira's tie, wherever it leads." He was thinking on it further, when suddenly he gasped and turned to Kanna.

"OH, that's right! Since you're new here, I should tell you about the—"

His words were halted when he Kanna staring daggers across at Ai, as the latter was humming merrily to herself—blissfully unaware of the tense atmosphere.

"I don't get it," Kanna said after a while had passed, crossing her arms with a glare.

Ai blinked. "What's bothering you, Kanna-sis?"

"That"—she pointed—"that right there. You calling everyone 'sis,' acting all kawaii and shit."

"Ah? Is it really annoying you, Kanna-sis?"

Kanna swung her arm through the air. "Damn right it is!"

That's when Vash anxiously cut in, half-rising from his seat, "K-K-kanna! Haha, it's probably better if you don't question the relationship betweeb Ai and Akira!"

He let out a small whine, cowering, as she turned to him angrily. "Think about what it is you're saying right now, Vash! Am I really supposed to simply 'be okay' with the fact that my wife is seeing another woman!?" She pointed at Ai behind her, remaining fixed on Vash. "With a woman that looks and acts like a small child calling her 'Big Sister,' no less?!"

"Uhhh," Vash whimpered, being able to see what Kanna couldn't: Ai bearing an evil look, her eyes becoming tiny slits with a wicked grin.

"Hahaha! That's funny—if anyone's the side pussy here, it's the monkey-fucking tomboy."

Kanna whirled around to face her, with a furious growl. "What did you just say?!" She wielded her [Windhammer], raising it in a silent threat. "Care to repeat that?"

"And so what if I do?" Evil Ai cackled. "What're you gonna do? Squash me!?"

Kanna slammed her hammer down onto the table, shattering it into pieces, as Ai dodged the blow by nimbly and dextrously perching herself atop the back of her chair.

"Missed me!" She taunted, sticking out her tongue and pulling open her eye.

Kanna swung again, destroying the chair this time, as Ai leaped away again in a chorus of playful giggles; prompting several more missed swings from the hopelessly outmaneuvered warrior, like a certain classic cartoon about a cat chasing after a mouse.

"Ara ara, you stupid loli bitch!"

On the verge of blowing a [Fireball] in his pants out of fear during all this, Vash scrambled out of his chair so fast that he fell to his hands and knees. Then, frantically crawled his way out of the hut and from there ran through the street.

He didn't just need to get to safety, though...

He needed fresh air. He needed space.

If anything, he just needed to be away from crazy horny females for a bit.

'Tchh. Where the Hell's Akira?!'

On top of everything else, he wanted out of this miserable shithole village. Even if it meant using...

Ignoring some Macaque pedestrians giving him strange looks, Vash pulled out his plain old regular [Business Tie] from under his robes and pointed it forward, in a similar fashion to how Akira did with her own [Big Business] version. Only his produced a thin white, as opposed to a gold laser from its tip, for him to follow. And most assuredly, it would not lead him to any [Fortune Veins].

He sighed, thinking about it now. 'I guess only CEOs get the special kind, and us regular salarymen get screwed, as ever.'

He hadn't yet told the others about how his Memento works, out of pure embarrassment, but at least it was able to lead him directly to Akira who was at this moment, rather, unfortunately, making love with Queen Rumia in a random dirty alleyway.

Akira had Rumia sprawled out on her back in the dirt, the both of them with their eyes closed in ecstasy as they kissed and groaned, relentlessly groping each other.

'I should've guessed,' he thought depressedly.