Chapter 142 - A Touch Of Miracles 4

Hotaru's POV:

This is actually happening.

I'm actually being taught how to use magic!

Well, technically, Mina and that jerk Ceres call it 'chi,' but isn't that essentially the same thing? Stuff that lets me use cool magical abilities.

Thinking back to when I saved Mina…

I'm not even sure how I used that healing power! I remember I was really emotional, when all of a sudden there was this weird glowing white heat...radiating from my palm, and flowing into Mina. Based on all the video games I've played, I had thought it looked like a healing spell, so I didn't try to stop it. 

Thankfully, I was right. Mina was able to survive, thanks to my quick action.

However…

It's peculiar how I haven't been able to use any power like that, ever since, no matter how hard I try; even in a situation where my life was at risk—flying in the face of everything I thought I knew about being an Isekai protagonist!

Following Ceres was my best bet.

"First things first," Ceres says, "you must learn how to breathe."

"Oh, like in martial arts? I took karate classes for a couple of days when I just started high school, so it's a similar deal here right?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Uhh...sure."

She didn't have any idea what I was talking about.

Fair enough, I suppose. It's easy to forget that this world is totally divorced from my own, so there's a lot of stuff that the people here wouldn't understand. It makes it kind of hard to tell whether the Kitsuna are real people or NPCs: since they act and talk normally, like a real person would, but also don't come across as players who ever once lived in the "real world."

It's as if...they've spent their entire lives within this video game world, so they don't know about anything that exists outside of it. Although, that couldn't possibly be true...right?

This game world was only recently invented by my father and his team of developers, wasn't it?

I'm seated across from Ceres in the forest clearing, legs crossed, awaiting her further instruction. She told me to close my eyes, but I peek one open, keeping an eye on her...just in case.

"Clear your mind, boy," she says suddenly. "Next, inhale slowly and—"

"Hotaru. My name is Hotaru; not 'boy.'"

She peeks open one eye, our gazes briefly meeting before I quickly shut mine.

"Very well, Hotaru."

And so, my special chi training had begun.

We stayed sitting like that across from each other, in silence, for a while. And as much as I'd like to say I underwent some crazy 'spiritual enlightenment,' or something like that…

"Nothing's happening."

"Clear your mind, I said. You shouldn't be thinking of an outcome."

"How am I supposed to do that? When I'm so excited, right now, after having my first kiss...and now, getting this opportunity to learn more about my powers—"

"Breathe deeply."

I opened my eyes, beginning to grow annoyed. "Why are we doing this?!"

However, Ceres was still poised and calm as she remained seated, her eyes sealed, with an unbothered expression. "This is to help the chi already present in your body circulate. If you perform the exercise correctly, you should start to feel it—coursing through your blood, like electricity."

Well, I guess that all makes sense: I can't be expected to control the chi, within me, if it isn't first flowing properly.

So, I try to empty my thoughts again…

…

"Hotaru-san, can you hear me?"

He was holding the phone to his ear, frozen, with a look of fear spanned across his face.

Noriko was the one calling, unexpectedly, as he was laying on his bed at home after school. Anx what she'd said just now...was the last thing he'd expected to ever hear from her, after the many months they'd been drifting apart.

"Sorry if I'm bothering you. I asked for your new number from Ichigawa-san, because I've been wanting to talk to you...umm..." —she paused briefly, clearing her throat—"I'm not busy this evening. A-actually, I'm bored. So, I thought we should meet at the old arcade...have a pizza...talk, and laugh, like we always used to."

Hotaru gawked. "Uh, the old arcade…?"

"Don't you remember? When we were in Junior High, we always used to go there."

"Of course I do," he said, smiling warmly to himself. "You mean the one on the corner that had the Slum Fighter machine with the broken player two joystick?" The one he would always use, and therefore lose all their matches against each other. Not caring, so long as it spared her the mild inconvenience of having to play with less responsive controls.

To suddenly recall these cherished memories: of Noriko teasing me for being pushover, insisting I let her play with the handicapped controller for once...the rubbery smell of that place...well, I started to crack under pressure.

"Hello? Hotaru-san…? Are you still there?"

I was too emotional to say anything, and the call was only becoming more awkward.

So, without thinking, I hung up.

And immediately, I regretted it, with this overwhelming terrible, sick feeling in my stomach. It was made even worse when my phone rang, and when I looked I saw it was her calling again: probably under the assumption I had just cut out because of a bad signal. A god-given opportunity to immediately undo my terrible, wrong decision. 

However, rather than jumping at this lucky opportunity—the stupid, despicable coward that I am—I just laid there, listening to it ringing, until it stopped. All the while, telling myself it was the right thing to do. For Noriko's sake.

'I'll only weigh her down, at this point, with how unambitious I am,' I remember thinking to myself. 'She'd be better off growing attached to someone else…'

Was it self-loathing? I figured I was only being honest with myself: that an ambitious girl like Noriko naturally deserves a partner of a much higher pedigree than me. And, that the strength of the feelings I have for her would make it impossible for me to simply remain as "friends."

After that, we didn't speak to each other at all, for the whole rest of the school year, other than to bicker. Up until the day I gave her the V.R.H.I.D.

"A virtual reality online game? That's so COOL!" she had said.

We were standing in a fenced-in, shaded area behind the school where all the trash cans and kids who got expelled for smoking cigarettes used to like to hang out—where she'd dragged me, herself, to suddenly talk so excitedly where no one else would see.

"Y-yeah," I remember nervously saying, in answer, giving a small shrug. Trying to look casual, though my heart was beating fast. "I was hoping you would be the first to try it with me...as a dear old friend."

Just as I spoke, she let out a small gasp—an instant cause of worry to me, over whether I had said too much.

Was I laying it on too thick?

Was she too embarrassed to say anything?

Instead of it being either, though, I was surprised to receive a hug—her wrapping her arms around her neck, pressing her warm body against mine, and the fragrant smell of her billowing soft brown hair.

Then as she was done she pulled away, facing me warmly, with a cute smile just like I remembered from years ago.

"Hitoru-kun," she said. "Let's both login on the same day, this next week Monday, when quarantine starts. And no matter what, we'll try to find each other in the game world as soon as possible. Okay?"

I gave a quick nod in reply. "S-sure! Of course!"

And I remember, she laughed…

And at the time it felt so…

Real.

…

Hotaru opens his eyes, sighing in disappointment. Not only for having to recall such a bittersweet memory, but also for the lack of any such feeling as the ones Ceres had described.

"Sensei...there's nothing happening. I'm trying, but it isn't enough."

"Is something weighing heavily on your heart, perhaps?" Ceres quickly said. "Your chi control is directly related to your control over your emotions—it is the reason why we Yako-nin are forced to do away with our strong emotions if we are to become great chi sorcerers."

"Is that why you're training me?" Hotaru asks suspiciously. "To suck all my emotions out of me? Because I'm not sure if that's what I want."

Ceres swiftly rose from her seating position.

"No, no, no…" she said. "Nothing so drastic. You need only to learn how to control your emotions, to be able to master your chi. But first, in order to do that, you'll need to tell me what it is that is weighing on your heart, right now."

Hotaru bit his lip, looking away, as he was made extremely nervous at the prospect. Until, he glanced up, and saw the sun was now almost fully set.

"It's...the girl I love," Hotaru said. "I was just thinking of how much of a jerk I was."