Chapter 146 - Messengers From The Matron

Hotaru's POV:

Mina is saying I should give magic bean farming a chance? As if!

I really don't want to risk it…

I don't want to risk losing the goodwill of the villagers, any more than I already have.

I'll only screw things up for the entire village, if I try, because that's how it always goes. I'm just a screwup when it comes to anything I do: from my relationships, to schooling, and even when it comes to my gaming hobby—as much as I play, I never make it to the top of any leaderboards, or get called to go on tough raids.

Sometimes...I can't help but feel jealous of those who make it look so easy: people who fit so perfectly in the world, like there was always a place made specially for them; while I'm always the one being made to feel left out.

Heh…why should I want their approval, anyway?

I'm better off alone, hiding myself in a "deep burrow" somewhere; where no one can misunderstand me, and I don't even have to worry about how others think of me. Where I don't have to wear this mask around people, hiding my true feelings, putting on a fake show to try and "fit in"...even though it never works, and I make myself look like a fool for even trying.

But maybe, there's a good reason for me always being excluded…

I AM the common denominator, after all: so it's hard not to imagine that there's just something fundamentally wrong with me—something that others can sense is disturbed about the person I am, beneath the fake mask I wear, that I can never fully hide, that scares them all away.

Or maybe...it's really all their fault!

If only people treated me with more kindness, then maybe I'd do better!

But...isn't it childish to think that way?

Aren't I sounding less and less like a hero, and more like a villain?

Doesn't everybody have important work to do—so that there just isn't any time left aside to baby me out of my pathetic depression? Or, is it wrong to expect just a little kindness? Instead of just being forced to eat...being kept alive, without purpose...yelled at for not doing better…

What if someone was just...nice to me, for a change?

I mean, what would that niceness even look like? It's something I seriously can't even imagine because of the shut away life I've led, and the rough kinds of people I've known. Thinking of it now, my own parents were neglectful: My father, being always busy with work and resentful of me. My mother, a terrible alcoholic who would say hurtful things when she would come home drunk.

Even Noriko, my crush, says terrible things to me in front of everyone…

Why do I have strong feelings for her, to begin with? Could it be that I've just grown accustomed to it? To all the teasing and abuse?

Is it just "normal" to me, by this point? So much so, that I can't even tell if someone is being genuine? Like how when Mina was nice to me at first, but still, I was distrustful of her; assuming it was all a coverup for something, without any basis.

I distrusted her, just like I do most people, and then she risked her life for me.

Besides, I have this new body…

It doesn't feel right at all, as even going to the bathroom feels uncomfortable. Lulu would never want to French kiss me again, in a body like this—so why even live?

Gah...was that really a joke about my current situation?!

That kiss...even if it was by accident…

I've never felt more alive.

I hate it, but I also can't deny my feelings for her; what with my apparent fetish for verbally abusive women. Tsunderes.

Though, it's hard to stay positive, since it isn't exactly fun living as a little fox girl: being so small and frail, not to mention having to pull my blouse up to pee in a bush. I have to find a way back home, before I completely lose it—with or without Noriko.

No…I could never be so heartless.

Noriko, wherever she is…

Even if she hates my guts, I can't just leave her. And it has nothing to do with impressing her—just doing the right thing. I brought her into this mess, so I should be the one to bring her out of it.

But first, I'll need to get a better grasp of this new form, as well as my powers.

Which means, I'll have to…

…

It was midday, so all the young Kitsuna were still out in the fields.

Lulu sighed as she rose again from stopping to pull a bean out of the loamy mound of soil, wiping the sweat off her forehead with the back of her hand, lost in her thoughts.

'Poor Hotaru, suffering through Deep Burrow Sickness all alone. I should go see him later…'

She missed seeing him laying under the shade of the tall tree across from the field, or leaning over the fence. Lazy and stubborn, to a fault, yet a breath of fresh air in much the same way. 

'Even though he's stuck in his ways, I want to see Hotaru be accepted by the village,' she thought to herself, smiling sadly.

"Lulu-chan!"

"Huh?" Lulu turned, as she heard her name being called, to see the other farmers looking at her expectantly.

"A couple of tough-looking Yako-nin are here looking for you," one of the farmer girls said, with a grave look of concern. "And, judging by the look of their robes, they were sent by the Matron. So you'd better hurry."

"The matron wants me?" she questioned excitedly. "Could it be for my ceremony?"

Receiving only a faint shrug in reply, Lulu looked and saw a pair of tall figures dressed in all-black robes and black sun hats with draping white cloths, standing in the middle of the road—agents of the Matron's own personal Yako-nin army, here to do her bidding.

But what business could they possibly have in Stone's Throw? A humble village that seldom found itself wrapped in the politics of the other, larger Kitsuna settlements.

More to the point: what business could they possibly have with her—a lowly magic bean farmer?

"H-hey…" she heard another voice, this one timid, say toward her; becoming unconsciously agitated at having her thoughts interrupted, yet again, as she sharply turned with a scoff to see—

"Hotaru!" she gasped, holding her hands up to the sides of her face. "Is that you?!"

Hotaru's Kitsuna form was instantly, to her, like the little sister she never had: even shorter than she, with chestnut-brown skin and vibrant green eyes and blazing orange fur covering her ears and tail; dressed in plain brown robes and a cute lavender bandana, both of which Mina had lended her.

"I'm here," she said, fumbling with her fingers, shyly looking down. "And I'm...ready to work."

"H-Hotaru-kun…" Lulu murmured, at once becoming overcome with emotion: her voice cracking, wiping a tear from her eye, her lip trembling all just from the sight of the man-turned-fox girl she loved. "I'm so...glad. I wish I could be here to see it."

"To see what? And where are you going?'

Lulu, feeling the impatient gazes of the Yako-nin in black upon her, wanted nothing more than to be there for Hotaru—to guide them, on their first day—if only...

"I'm sorry, but I have to go somewhere. Please have someone else teach you."

"But, Lulu-chan…! You're crying!"

"Don't worry, these are"—she sniffed, conjuring an unconvincing smile—" tears of joy. So, it's alright. I'm just so happy to see you up and walking around."

…

Ceres's POV:

I'm perched atop my usual lookout point, in the boughs of the tall tree that resides at the center of the magic bean farm, watching Lulu walk away from Hotaru, slowly, toward the waiting Yako-nin messengers, with another one of the messengers balanced on a branch behind me.

"What will you do with the girl?" I ask him. "With Lulu-chan?"

"I am not at liberty to discuss the Matron's intentions," was the messenger's cold reply, spoken in a deep, strong voice without room for compromise. "Just know that, so long as she complies, the girl shall be returned to the village within a few days' time."

Ceres could only scoff derisively under her breath, knowing her hands were tied.

The Matron served as the chief of all the Kitsuna settlements, living and ruling remotely; generally only making personal appearances to oversee reincarnation ceremonies, but otherwise, exerting her will through the manipulation of her countless foot soldiers.

Tch. That they would even bother asking my permission to do such a thing, treating it as a formality…

How tragically laughable!

Only a person with a death wish would dare challenge the matron's authority, when she was responsible for—among many other things—deciding which settlement would be allowed to sell their produce to which market, and for how much.

Not wanting to risk the wellbeing kof Stones Throw, Ceres could only sit idly by, continuing to observe, with the hopes Lulu wasn't actually being led into a lion's den.