Chapter 149 - The Self-engrossed Bookworm

Hotaru's POV:

As it turns out, teaching someone to read is really, really hard!

But since Mina already seems so invested, I try my best by scrawling out a few sentences on a piece of parchment, using an inkwell and calligraphy pen she was able to borrow from one of the neighbors; then, slowly reading through them aloud, pointing to each word with my finger:

"I. Have. Given up. My. Humanity. Jojo."

"What's that mean?" she asked, tilting her head curiously.

"Well" —I was suppressing a chuckle, barely keeping it together—"it's something a character in a popular story once said, after he became an evil vampire."

"He gave up his humanity?" Her ears twitched. "How is that possible...?"

Hmm…

I never expected things to get all philosophical.

"Well, it's basically like...if you willingly commit enough wrongful acts, you become someone that others can't accept as human anymore."

She frowned, lowering her gaze with a sad look. "Ah. Is that so…?"

"Um…" I sat there for a moment, my finger still held against the page, recognizing that the mood was ruined. "Well...it's not like such a thing is set in stone, you know. Because some stories will go into detail about how a person who commits wrongful acts can be justified...it really isn't 'one-size-fits-all.'"

My words seemed to be of little use, though. But rather, whatever was causing her to look so tragically sad…

Would necessitate a distraction.

"Mina-san," I said, putting on an excited face. "I just remembered, I've seen in some stories that people who live on tropical islands will bore a hole into coconuts and drink straight from them! Is that something the Kitsuna like to do?"

She stirred, looking as though I'd just woken her from a daydream. "Coconuts…? Well, I know it's popular among the fisherfoxes, but I've never—"

"Well, come on then!" I grabbed her by the arm, pulling her to the door.

"Ack! Right now?!"

"Of course! It'll be fun, right?"

…

Mina's POV:

Ah…

Hotaru's whole speech about morality got me thinking of her again…

Ceres…

You really think that you're a monster, don't you?

Is that the real reason why you hide away?

You never did give me an answer, before, when I said it was because you felt guilty over what had happened that night. 

The Yako-nin…

Aren't just our protectors, are they? 

It's intentionally kept a secret, but it's one of those secrets everyone secretly knows.

People will sometimes inexplicably go missing, without a trace or explanation, and never turn up. It's rare, but something that never goes forgotten, since it's more often than not a neighbor that's been known around the village for many years.

The whispers and rumors are all true, aren't they? That the Yako-nin are actually responsible; that, sometimes, you are instructed to kill. And, in fact, you've probably had to on many occasions, to the point where you can't even call yourself human anymore; seeing yourself as a vile demon who has totally 'rejected their humanity.'

To think, she used to be such a sweet kid, who only wished to be a farmer…

...

Those were simpler times. Ceres would study and train at her family's dojo all day, sneaking out to the magic bean field to talk with me while I was on lunch break.

We had our own special spot…

Since she couldn't risk being seen by others, we'd always convene at a small clearing in the jungle, away from the town and fields; away from the prying eyes that would surely gossip about this unlikely friendship between a future Yako-nin, from a noble family, and a peasant girl.

I remember one day, when she was obviously in a sour mood, how she sat with her knees folded up against her face and barely said a word.

"What's wrong?"'

"I wish I didn't have to become one," she said. "A Yako-nin."

"But it's your destiny, isn't it?"

"Yes. That's what everybody tells me, ever since I was adopted by the Kotome family: that 'no matter what, your fate is to become a Yako-nin warrior…'" 

She lifted her head, looking at me sharply.

"But I don't want to become a warrior! I want to stay with you, living as a farmer!"

"Ceres-san," I gasped—feeling shocked, at the time, by her uncharacteristic outburst. But also...a tiny bit annoyed; even jealous, as I quickly rose to my feet, glaring down at her with my hands on my hips.

"Listen to yourself! You're saying you would rather toil in the hot sun for tiny beans, for the rest of your life, than becoming a strong, swift, and noble protector of the village!" I growled. "It's downright uncanny! And a spit in the face of all the hard work us kids and Yin vessels have no choice but to go through!"

"Mina-san, I didn't mean it like that!" she said, nervously cowering and holding up her hands.

I wasn't finished, though—not by a mile!

And that's because..

There's nothing I hate more than unappreciative whiners!

So, my tirade continued:

"Besides, who's to say I won't become a Yako-nin too, huh? And if that happened, wouldn't you feel stupid if you ran away from home to be a farmer again?"

Ceres rubbed her nose, calming down.

"Run away? I could never…"

"Yeah? Well why not? Too scaaaared?! So instead you'll just whine endlessly about it, without even trying to do anything to change?" I gave a cold laugh. "All for what? What's the point of all that crying and feeling sorry for yourself."

"Because they'd kill me," she said.

"Eh? Because they'd ki—" I was about to mock her but abruptly froze, as the true weight and meaning of her words; of the true nature of her adopted world—that of the Yako-nin—was just then settling in.

And it was then that she stood up, a dour look upon her face; the most mature and sad I'd ever seen her, up to that point.

"Either I stay, or I die. That is my destiny."

…

For the average Kitsuna in the village, one's destiny essentially all boiled down to a cosmic dice roll: Yin form, or Yang form; with the only exception being those fortunate (or unfortunate) enough to be born into—or adopted by—a prominent Yako-nin family; guaranteeing their maturation into Yang. 

These adoptions were fairly routine in Kitsuna society, since many Yang vessels were ill-fated to die young—many even during their training; thus, creating an insatiable demand for replacements from the reputable houses.

'You're not a monster, Ceres…' though Mina, as Hotaru was taking her out to walk along the thin stretch of sand bordering the village's western shore.

The waves were calm, and the cool breeze felt nice as it flowed through her hair.

Still, in her heart…

She felt something was missing.

"I wish she was here," she said, sighing.

"Ceres, right?" Hotaru asked, with an amused grin. "You two are…'together,' aren't you."

She nodded. "Yes...a harmonic duo."

"Is that what you call it?"

Mina looked at her, confused. "Don't people form into harmonic duos in your world? It's when a Yin and a Yang vessel form an eternal bond—vowing to keep all chi gathered by the Yin vessel between themselves, and no other."

"In my world, we have a similar thing called a marriage."

"What about love…?" she cooed softly, her cheeks flushing as she looked down, holding back a giggle. "Does that exist in your world, too?"

"Yeah...it does. And Noriko-san is the one I love."

"Do you think she loves you back?"

Hotaru was silent for a while, staring out across the sparkling sea. Then, with a weary sigh, lowered herself to sit in the sand, setting aside her sandals then placing her feet where the lapping waves could touch them as they were washing in.

"I...don't know," she answered, hugging herself tightly with a contemplative look. "I'd like to believe she ran away because she didn't want to hurt me."

"Hurt you…?" Mina blinked, her eyes wide. "But how would she do that?"

"With the truth." Hotaru sighed, leaning back, until she was laying flat in the sun-heated powdery sand. "Because I don't think she loves me in a serious way—not anymore. Which is why she left without a trace: so she wouldn't have to admit the truth to me."

Mina joined her in lying in the sand, ears twitching and puckering her lips with a skeptical look.

"Are you sure about that?" she asked. "Noriko-san DID mention she wanted to go on an adventure, before she left; so, her choice doesn't necessarily have anything to do with you."

Hotaru sat up sharply, pondering her words carefully, before speaking:

"You know...you're right. Noriko-san has the right to make her own decisions, with or without me. Which is the exact reason why..." 

Her ears drooped, as did her lips into a frown, as she quietly averted her gaze.

"Once I find her again, just to make sure she's alright, I'll respect her choice: even if it doesn't involve me at all; even if she tells me she actually hates my guts, and we never talk to each other again. No matter what."

At hearing this, and seeing the little boy-turned-fox girl seated before her: gazing across the sea with tear-filled eyes of determination, Mina smiled with pride.

Because, for the first time, she wasn't seeing him as a little kid.

'You've really grown, Hotaru-kun.'