♔
'Eh…?' Leticia's eyes widened.
At that moment, Amber thought she had fainted. She should not have said anything, even though it was what she thought in her heart, she didn't have to say it out loud.
It was superfluous now.
The reason was trying to stifle Amber' foolishness, but reason got kicked into the corner by the black emotion. (Zuben: Anger. Anger isn't necessarily bad, dear)
'...because, is it really necessary, dear sister?'
The Reinfeldt title had been succeeded by Leticia's husband, and they already had an heir.
Also, both parents left them with an enormous heritage, leaving Amber with enough assets to live independently. (Zuben: You should just have upped and done that a year ago)
And there was Amber' work as a filet lace maker.
Her late father surely had been conscious of the difficulties Amber would face being compared with her sister since childhood.
When she was old enough, her father had imposed practicing far longer or deeper than that of a standard aristocratic daughter would need, so that she could live by her means from the embroidery and lace.
Thanks to that, Amber received a moderate evaluation as a lacemaker, and she had a growing clientèle of tailors that served the aristocracy.
So why did she need to be bound by the fence of marriage?
Once she opened her mouth, Amber could not stop. In the end, Leticia had a look of pure mercy in her green eyes.
'Why don't you see yourself as lovely, Amber?'
'Have you not heard what people say about me?' Amber replied.
'I have heard it all.'
Amber was shocked. Then, why was Leticia trying to dismiss her feelings?
Leticia looked at her younger sister and said, 'I understand how you feel…'
'How I feel…?'
Leticia nodded at a confused Amber.
'You're afraid you're not married yet. That's why you're saying that.' (Zuben: Not listening at all)
Amber had lost comprehension of her sister's words.
Leticia scrunched up her face like she was thinking, then her eyes brightened and she held up her fist as she had thought of a good idea.
'Right. Amber, leave it to me.'
'Leave what to you?'
'We would hold a ball at our home, and I will take responsibility to help you to choose a nice man. How about that?'
Choosing her husband without permission; how does she think that this was a good idea?
Even so far as to invite the gentlemen that viewed Amber as inferior.
'Stop it, Leticia, I do not need you to do anything unnecessary.' (Zuben: Join a nunnery, you Japanese-western historical girls love doing that)
Please do not increase my misery, do not deepen my inferiority complex, Amber pleaded in her heart.
But Leticia was blind to the Amber' distress.
'Why is it unnecessary?'
'I do not need you to have a ball for me. As I said, I can live without being married. Thanks to our father, I can keep well.
'We must do it, Amber.'
Leticia said over Amber.
'I want Amber to be happy.'
'Amber, a woman who is not married can never be happy.' Leticia said with conviction, and the words rang deeply in Amber' heart. (Zuben: The simple solution, if you're serious, pack your load and move to another territory)
Even if Leticia was her sister, she couldn't understand.
Still, Amber had hoped she would understand things from her point of view. She had thought that her older sister would understand her stance. But the reality was cruel, even if she wished it, she could be crushed.
'Why do you not understand, Amber? For women like us, it is happiness to marry a lovely man and have that man's child.'
'Leticia…'
'Even our mother said so.' Leticia said with an imploring yet admonishing shake of her honey-colored hair quite like their mother.
Their mother had been the daughter of a baron but she won the heart of the former Marquis Reinfeldt at her début.
All of Leticia's gestures stimulated a desire to cosset and protect her. How many men hearts had she stolen with her expressions? How many of these same men had ridiculed Amber, who was not like that?
At that moment, the memory threatened to overflow.
'It is not the same.'
'Amber…'
'I am not the same as you or mother.'
'What are you saying? I just taught you the right thing-'
'That is only good for you Sister. The happiness that Mother and Sister think of, and the happiness that I want, are different. Please do not measure me with the same yardstick as you measure yourself!'
Leticia was Leticia. Amber was Amber.
Even if she didn't take after their lovely mother, she had the path that her beloved father laid for her. In doing her lacework and creating many colorful designs, Amber was happy.
What would make her happy was her freedom, which was all she needed.
However, she was soon regretting it.
'How terrible of you, Amber, why...why won't you understand?' Leticia said, her eyes welling up with tears and large drops ran down her face.
Leticia's greatest weapon: Her crying face. How many people had seen this and never asked for an explanation but blamed Amber?
In her heart, sorrow rose.
I've done it again, she sighed, she had become the bad guy again.
Amber watched Leticia cry in her lovely manner. Tears flowed abundantly, crystal clear drops down her pretty face. (Zuben: Where is her handkerchief?)
Perhaps a woman who can cry at the drop of a hat had the biggest advantage.
Of course, Amber was the evil one making lovely and angelic Leticia cry.
In the eyes of many men, Leticia who cries in such a lovely manner is a weak existence that needs to be protected. For many men, Leticia was their type. (Zuben: we get it. You don't have to repeat it over and over again) Was it that she had not experienced enough disdain? She who could not cry in public was conceited and arrogant. She was always seen as a bad person.
Why would she never learn?
Amber was upset.
'What shall we do?'
Leticia's husband, Mattias, came over and held Leticia. He smiled at Leticia as she shuddered and cried in his arms.
Zuben: In a lot of Japanese books, people just appear without preamble with no explanation. They were not in the scene, but now they are. Are we supposed to imagine they were always there, or they just walked in?