After reading this letter with only a thousand words, my face was already full of tears!
How does it feel to pierce the heart with a thousand arrows? I think that's probably the case!
I want to die!
This taste is worse than death!
Tears welled up in my eyes, and I couldn't control them at all. Those tears flowed down my face, into the corners of my mouth, into my neck, into my heart like a flood that had burst through a dam.
The emotions in my heart were like madmen who had lost their senses. They tore the city in my heart called' persistence' into pieces like a dead city. Countless tall buildings collapsed, and in a moment, the walls were broken.
I was like a wolf who was injured and about to die. The moon was shining brightly under my feet, but I could not cry out in sorrow.
There was no sound in the hall. I was tearing my heart out in tears, only tears, no sound! I tried my best to suppress it, as if I was fighting the sea on my own.
I could feel countless great forces tearing through my body, crazy blood like a wild bull trying to break through my skin, those blue veins like a field of snakes wriggling, deep in my bone marrow like countless insects were biting, that nerve was plucked as a string, my body became a martial field, swords and shadows, blood and flesh flying everywhere!
I don't know how long I cried. The tears in my neck made me feel uncomfortable and uncomfortable. My eyelashes were wet and tears blurred my vision, but I didn't wipe them away. I just let them turn into two tears and burn my skin.
This feeling was so terrible that I never wanted to experience it for the rest of my life. It was hard, hard, and so hard that I was going crazy!
After a long time, I took a deep breath, but my breathing was especially painful, as if every breath I took was the throbbing pain of salt water on the wound.
I didn't expect that after so long, it would still be such a tragic result!
Looking at Ding Ge's letter, I could see her life for so many days. Every day, her life was almost worse than death. She could not go out. She stayed in a closed space, facing the pressure of her parents every day. She felt countless sadness in her heart.
I can feel her pain, I can imagine her persistence, but unlike me, she suffers many times more pain and sorrow every minute than I do!
So, I don't blame her!
I don't blame her at all!
Before Old Gao said those words to me, I had thought that if Ding Ge gave up first, although I would definitely be sad, but I would not blame her, I would only love her, I love her too much!
If she could really face life with a smile without me, then well, I wouldn't bother her.
But even so, my heart is still very sad. At this moment, I am really more heartbroken than dying!
Tears flowed down the table from time to time like an unstoppable tap. I held the can on the table in my hand again and raised my neck to gulp down the remaining beer.
"Cough, cough, cough, cough..."
Maybe he drank too much and choked on it. His throat was burning with pain. He could feel his whole face and neck turning red. His face was suffocating, and then the tears came out again.
At this moment, I looked at the letter again. I thought those marks were the tears that Ding Ge shed when he wrote the letter because he was sad, causing the tear stains.
Ding Ge must be as sad as I am, but I can't just comfort her.
I took the letter and carefully tried to restore it to the shape of a paper crane, but no matter what I did, I could not restore it. I could only gently roll it up. This should be the last thing Ding Ge gave me. I will keep it well.
I smiled sadly again, and tears came down when I smiled. When I opened the letter, I even had a little delusion, hoping that it would not be hopeless news, but good news.
But I know that this possibility is basically zero. After all, Shang Hongyu's tone of voice showed whether the news was good or bad. He must have read the letter after Ding Ge had finished writing it. After all, they were afraid that Ding Ge would reveal something in the letter. They would check it and send it to me only after it passed. Otherwise, the letter would not reach me.
I held the can in my hand with great force, and it immediately flattened, and the ferocious emotions in my heart surged again.
I think I might be depressed for the next few days. By then, everyone will know the story of the complete end between Ding Ge and me. Everyone will look at me with sympathetic eyes. I don't want to see this kind of eyes, even caring eyes. I just want to hide alone in a cave that no one can find.
I was sure I only wanted to be alone, so I left the restaurant.
Standing on the familiar street, the summer breeze blew in with some hot air. I could feel the moment when the wind blew past the tears, it was like a scar, and the wind wanted to open it.
I wiped my tears to make myself look normal. I don't want people to see my sadness, even strangers.
However, I looked to the left and right, but I didn't know where I was going.
This is a place I'm familiar with. I'm familiar with this area, but I don't know where to go. I chose the right side, this is the opposite direction of the community, just go ahead, then decide where to go.
So, I wandered on the street alone.
I walked in a daze, like a lonely wanderer!
At night, although there were no bright stars and moons, it was still neon. In the city, there was no shortage of places for nightlife. I thought about it, go to the bar. I just want to drink now. I just want to be drunk to the point of unconsciousness. However, I was a little scared. If I got drunk in front of a group of strangers, what would I do if someone kindly called my friends? I shook my head and decided not to go to a bar. Go to a place where no one cares about getting drunk and no one knows.
I don't know why, but at this moment, I was so afraid of the light. Even if the soft light from the street lamp shone on my face, I would unconsciously avoid it and try to hide in the shadows as much as possible, as if it would make me feel more at ease.
I can't wait to wear a hat. I really don't want people to see me now!
After another long walk, I suddenly saw a business hotel in front of me. I suddenly felt that it was nice to be alone in the hotel and isolated from the world, but soon I stopped thinking. I didn't want to go to such a comfortable place.
It doesn't match the sadness and decadence on my body.
At this moment, I suddenly thought of a place, a place I had been to.
It was where I had a picnic with Ding Ge and Lin Ya. We had spent a night there, and now I can clearly remember what happened that day.
Let's go there. I've decided.
I wanted to buy some wine, but it was too late. I was afraid that a taxi would be a problem later. So I took a taxi to the station, bought a bottle of wine and a mess of food in the shop next door, and then I took a taxi to let him take me to the suburbs.
In the end, the car stopped at the side of the road, and then it turned into a dirt road that was more difficult to walk on. I wanted to walk on my own.
At this moment, I don't know why I want to be here so badly.
Come on, let's keep going. The moonlight was not good tonight, so I had to use the light from my phone to illuminate myself. Gradually, the environment became more and more desolate, but all I could think of was the good memories from before.
I wanted to find a place for the three of us to have a picnic, but it was still a long way away. My feet hurt when I walked, but I kept gritting my teeth and holding on. There was only one thought in my head.
However, the light was too dark and there were too many trees. For a moment, I couldn't figure out exactly where we were having a picnic, which made me feel depressed.
After that, I stopped walking. I stopped under a big tree. There was a similar environment here, but even if I returned to that tree, what could I do?
I sat down on the ground, the temperature here was about two or three degrees lower than in the city, but it was summer, so I didn't feel cold.
After sitting down, he looked around at the dim surroundings. Everything seemed to have happened that night, except that the three of them had been replaced by the one now. For a moment, sadness filled me like a thick fog.
I didn't want to be too lonely, so I stood up, continued to pick up some firewood by the light of my phone, and started a fire with the lighter I bought.
All of a sudden, a fire lit up, and all I could feel was the heat coming from my face. Looking at the flames, the corners of my mouth twitched with bitterness. In fact, even if there was a fire accompanying me, the mixed feelings in my heart would not lessen much.
Alone, with the wind, with the fire, with the cold and quiet of the night, it was really indescribable loneliness. Especially when I think back to the time when the three of us spent the night here, the loneliness was even more desolate than the wilderness.
My nose was a little sore. In silence, those emotions crushed me ruthlessly. Another drop of cool tears fell. I wiped them away and opened the wine I bought. Stop thinking about it and get drunk!
Ding Ge told me to forget her. I knew it was impossible. I could only put her in the bottom of my heart. It was a place that only belonged to her!
But this place has occupied my whole heart!