Chapter 71 – My Heart Only Wants Him
***
We moved to a different terrace this time.
“Thank you for your help,” were the first words I spoke. Giving thanks was only proper, after all.
Claude shook his head. “It was nothing special.” He offered a tender smile. “It is my duty to help my partner. I felt bad too.”
“…”
“After that warning, Lady Dorothea shouldn’t bother you anymore.”
“Yes,” I replied in a soulless voice. “I guess so. We’ve been in an unnecessary relationship for so long.” I shook my head. “In the beginning, I was just trying to fulfill my filial duty, but this has pushed me to the edge. As soon as the party is over, I’m going to send a letter to Countess Cornohen to nullify the deal.”
“I’ll support your choice either way.” Claude smiled faintly at me as he looked into my eyes. I was flustered by the sudden eye contact, and I smiled clumsily and changed the subject.
“I’m more worried about Odeletta. I think Dorothea spoke a lot of insulting words towards her…” I murmured in concern.
“Lady Odeletta is a strong woman. You don’t have to worry too much.”
“Is that so…”
“Yes. And don’t pay too much attention to Lady Dorothea’s nonsense,” he said reassuringly.
“I won’t,” I replied. Because it was just Dorothea’s words, not anyone else’s. “Again, thank you very much for today. I owe you.”
“Let’s say it’s a favor for being my partner today.”
Claude had quite the gift for consoling another person, and his words brought a smile to my face.
“Should we head back to the banquet hall? If we’re away for too long, people might talk again,” I said.
Claude smiled at my joke.
***
“Odeletta.”
Odeletta, who was now alone, turned around at the call of her name. Maristella came into view.
“Maristella,” Odeletta said in a flat tone. Her voice reflected her current mood—in short, not good. If someone asked her if the reason was because of Dorothea’s misbehavior earlier, then they would be half-right.
Dorothea’s words were meant to be cutting, and Odeletta couldn’t help but feel worse about herself. She had the same unrequited love as the person she hated most in the world. And that unrequited love liked the person she liked most in the world. Even if her unrequited love wouldn’t entertain a relationship with her, she was still trying to defend her friend. For Odeletta, it was a painful and confusing situation one way or another.
“There you are,” Maristella said.
And the friend at the center of it all was talking to her casually, oblivious to the turmoil inside of her.
However, ignorance was not a sin. Odeletta grew up learning that. Therefore, she could not hate Maristella. But what if Maristella had something she wanted?
“Where’s the Duke?” Odeletta asked, trying to conceal her raw feelings as much as possible.
“He agreed to stay away for the moment. Maybe because of what happened earlier,” Maristella explained.
“Ah.”
Well, how considerate of him, Odeletta muttered cynically beneath her breath.
“Thank you for earlier, Odeletta.”
“…Earlier?” Odeletta replied confusedly. “What do you mean, ‘earlier’?”
“For standing up to Dorothea when I wasn’t there.”
“…That thing?”
Maristella looked at her worriedly. “You’re not upset by her, are you? I know her personality, but I don’t know if—”
“Marie,” Odeletta interrupted with a soft voice, and Maristella clamped her mouth shut as if her words had been cut off with a knife. Odeletta looked at Maristella, who had a naive expression on her face as if she had no idea what was going on.
‘Keep calm,’ Odeletta repeated to herself.
“I—I think I’ll go now,” she said softly.
“Already? But it’s not that late yet—” Maristella protested.
“Actually, I’ve had a cold since yesterday.”
She wanted to get out of this place as soon as possible. Otherwise, her feelings towards her friend would turn uglier than before. She had to stay far away from those innocent eyes in order to protect their relationship.
“I’ll see you again, Marie. Have a good time. Have a safe journey back.”
“Ah, yes… You too, Odel.”
“…”
Odeletta gave a silent smile instead of a reply, and slowly turned around. She felt Maristella’s gaze on her, but she walked forward without looking back.
“Odeletta.”
Sometime later, her name was called again. Her footsteps stopped.
“Odeletta,” the familiar voice said again.
“…It’s not that I didn’t hear.” Odeletta turned around and bit her lips hard. A familiar young man was looking at her. There was pity in his gaze, and Odeletta felt even worse than before.
Shame, misery, sadness. It was embarrassing to reveal this in front of her childhood friend.
“Dilton,” she said.
“Are you alright?”
“Do I look alright?”
“…No.”
“You know, Dilton. You know the answer.” Odeletta’s voice was cracked with hurt. “You know me too well.”
“…”
“You know what I’m feeling right now.”
“…Yes,” Dilton answered.
“Why did you call me?” Odeletta asked sadly. “Did you have to tell me that you saw me like this? Couldn’t you pretend that you didn’t know?”
“Odeletta.”
“…Why,” Odeletta repeated. “Why did you do that, Dilton Oras?”
“…”
“You should have walked past as usual.”
“I just.” Dilton’s mouth closed tightly then opened again. “I just wanted to ask if you were alright.”
“…”
“That’s why I called you.”
“I’m not alright,” she answered, struggling to pull the corners of her mouth up in a mirthless smile. “I can’t be alright.”
“…”
“Do I look alright?”
“In other people’s eyes.” Dilton gave her the answer she wanted to hear, then replied with his own honest answer. “But not in my eyes.”
“…”
“You should stop, Odeletta. The world is filled with other men who are good for you.”
“You think I don’t know such a hypothetical idea?” she lamented. “Half of the world are men, and I am a woman worthy of being loved by others.”
“…”
“I know that much, Dilton.” She continued with a bitter smile. “But what do I do right now? If it’s not the Crown Prince…it’s no use.”
“…”
“It’s no use at all, Dilton. It has to be him only. My heart—my heart only wants him.”
“Time will solve it.”
“I’m not patient enough to wait until then.”
“Odel.”
“I appreciate you worrying about me,” she said in a calmer voice than before. “I always appreciate it, Dilton. You’re a dear friend and colleague who’s always helped me when I had hard times.”
“…”
“But…I don’t think you can help me with this. Just give up. That is the only way you can help me.”
“I cannot help your heart.”
“…I know. Even if you’re close to the Crown Prince, it’s presumptuous of me to ask for it.” Odeletta nodded as if she understood. “So just keep watching me, Dilton.”
“…”
“Please.”
“I want you to be happy.” Dilton spoke with a hoarse voice. “I don’t want to see my dear friend suffer.”
“…Thank you.” Odeletta gave her first genuine smile during this conversation. “I know how you feel about me, Dilton. But right now…just watch.”
“Will you be alright?”
“No matter what the ending of the story is, I will make my own choice. It’s my life.”
“…”
“So I won’t have any regrets left at the end of the story.”
“…Alright.” Dilton gave a resigned sigh. As usual, Odeletta was stubborn and did what she wanted to do. “I’ll cheer you on, Odeletta.”
“Thank you, Dilton.” Odeletta’s smile looked more relaxed than from the beginning.
Dilton decided to be satisfied with just that. At least for today, the only goal had been to see the soft smile on her lips.