Chapter 53

Shu Nian raised his hand to cover the cheek he had kissed, sniffed and retorted, "it's not this..."

Her eyes and nose are red, like an aggrieved rabbit. Because of this sudden kiss, shunian's sad mood was transferred in an instant. He didn't know what to say. After holding for a long time, he only said: "how can you kiss me?"

Xie Ruhe tilted his head and asked, "can't you kiss me?"

"No..." Shunian sipped his lips. He was a little confused. He didn't remember what he wanted to say to him. She moved her eyes and thought about it seriously. After a long time, she said, "yes."

Then, she added stiffly, "but I'm too ugly to kiss now."

When she woke up, she felt pain in her face and neck. When she touched her face, she could clearly see that half of her face was swollen. Even without a mirror, shunian can imagine what he looks like.

Smell speech, Xie Ruhe droops an eye to stare at her, facial features are dyed soft by the light, look attentive and gentle.

Shunian was out of his sight.

Next second, Xie Ruhe leaned over and lowered her head, facing her timid and self abased eyes. He pauses, gently kisses her eyes and asks, "didn't you just say it's ok? Why did you go back so soon? "

“……”

"Don't go back." His tone seems to be training children, but not with harsh color, more like coaxing and inducing. Xie Ruhe's labial petal moves downward, pastes her lip, contains the paste not to be clear the way, "must kiss now."

Shunian didn't want to sleep, and Xie Ruhe didn't coax her to sleep.

Because of that intimate act, she no longer had the feeling of inferiority, and no longer asked Xie Ruhe not to fall in love with her, just sitting quietly at the head of the bed and not saying much.

Listen to Xie Ruhe talking to her all the time.

Xie Ruhe is not a talkative person. He doesn't know what to say. What he told her at this time is what happened when he was in France. Most of them are boring. What's more, they are the idea and Inspiration of composing songs.

These contents are probably boring for her.

But he just wanted to distract her and stop thinking about those things.

This sudden encounter damaged the energy of reading. At the moment, her eyelids drooped and she listened to Xie Ruhe carefully, but she seemed to be trapped to the extreme. She didn't want to fall asleep, so she had to sit up straight again.

After thinking about it, shunian stares at a place in the air, and his eyes are empty. He suddenly interrupts Xie Ruhe's words and takes the initiative to open his mouth.

"If you don't, you won't be able to take it anymore."

Xie Ruhe was stunned. His Adam's apple was sliding and he didn't speak.

Shunian finished: "you can tell me directly."

“……”

"Whatever your decision is." Shunian didn't cry any more. He rubbed his eyes and said in a hoarse voice, "I'll thank you very much."

Xie Ruhe immediately understood the meaning of her words and said seriously, "I will not."

Hearing this answer, shunian was silent for a while and suddenly mentioned something: "I should have told you that I fell in love with Xu Zeyuan once before."

Xie Ruhe's lip liner straightened and whispered.

I know it's not good to mention Xu Zeyuan to him, but because I'm tired, I don't have a clear idea of reading. At the moment, she just wanted to tell him all her thoughts, which she had held for a long time.

"At that time, I was rescued by the police and didn't go to school for a period of time."

“……”

"It's in the hospital." The speed of reading is very slow. You have to pause for several seconds when you say a few words, like thinking, "and take notes. They will ask me repeatedly how I was arrested, what happened this week, and what Zeng Yuanxue did to me. "

Xie Ruhe took her hand and listened quietly.

"A lot of people come to ask." Thinking of the events at that time, shunian suddenly had a temper and said, "why do I have to say it so many times? I've told them all. Why do I have to ask all the time?"

Xie Ruhe said, "they are wrong."

"Then." Shunian continued to think, "during this period, Xu Zeyuan came to me once."

Xie Ruhe asked: "to comfort you?"

Shunian sniffed: "he felt unhappy when he saw that I was hurt. It seems to comfort me. I don't remember much. I only remember that he came here once. "

“……”

"Later, when I recovered, I went back to school." Shunian said, "I didn't know until I went back. During the period when I was missing, all my classmates in the school were forwarding me this incident. People who know me basically know that, those who don't know me also know that there is a girl who has been missing for a week

"They think I'm miserable, they think I'm pathetic. I've been missing for a week, and I've been arrested by a man. I think I must have been raped. "

Shunian calmly explained: "then Xu Zeyuan came to break up with me."

"He told me that he knew I was brave and didn't care about these things. He said that I can face the problem of the police calmly, and I think I can go to court without changing my face in the future. I don't think it's OK to hear other people's gossip. " A layer of mist floated in shunian's eyes again. "He said he couldn't do it. He admitted that he was cowardly and couldn't stand other people's eyes.""But I'm not very brave." Shunian cried, "I'm scared every day."

Every time she recalled, she felt very scared.

At the thought of going to court and meeting Zeng Yuanxue, shunian never sleeps peacefully.

But the reason why she resisted fear and cooperated with the police and lawyers again and again was that she only hoped Zeng Yuanxue would be sentenced to death. She couldn't accept a reprieve or a deadline.

It's the first time that shunian hates someone so much in his life.

As long as he still exists in this world, she can't sleep every day and night, and will wake up when she falls asleep. For fear that he would come back and drag her back to the dark house again.

As long as he's dead.

Those fears should be gone.

Shunian thinks so.

But it didn't.

Although she escaped from hell, for a long time, because of mental problems, she lived by Zeng Yuanxue's side every day, in the week of trauma.

Those recollections reappeared again and again, and imprisoned her like shackles.

"Why do they say that about me?" Shunian really can't understand, "I haven't been raped. It's hard to hear that. But what if I'm really treated like this. "

"Do they think I'm going to be ashamed? But I'm a victim. Why should I be ashamed? " "I've been hurt, it's not my fault," she said, red eyed, word by word

Why?

It's the perpetrators who really should be ashamed. It's the people who sprinkle salt on the scars of the victims.

It's not her.

After such a long talk, the strength of reading was completely exhausted, and the voice became more and more dull and lighter: "I was terrible when I got sick. If you want to separate from me in the future, you can tell me."

Xie Ruhe's eyes turned red and he pulled up the corners of his mouth.

"So."

"I used to get better by myself." Shunian is like self hypnosis, "so you don't have to worry. I don't feel ashamed. I won't be hit because you broke up with me. I'll be fine. "

Xie Ruhe kisses the back of her hand: "I will accompany you this time."

She didn't respond.

His eyelids were closed and he fell asleep frowning.

Xie Ruhe didn't say a word any more and smoothed her eyebrows.

He sat next to her and looked at her quietly.

She is always brave in the memory of that book.

She is not afraid of adults' rebuke, students' teasing, strange insects and walking alone at night. She had nothing to fear except the ghost, which did not exist at all.

In the classroom, when she heard the female students scream in horror because of the bees flying in suddenly, she never felt that they were making a fuss. She never felt that their fear was incomprehensible because she was not afraid.

She would take the initiative to help them drive away the source of fear, and then gently pacify them.

Let them not be afraid.

After seeing the wound he was hit by Xie Ji with a cup, she wanted to tell Xie Ji that it was wrong to do so, even though she knew that he might be hurt.

She still has no hesitation.

But she was also cowardly and timid.

Because of a pervert and afraid to cry, angry with him, sugar temptation him, let him send her to school. She would be afraid of being hurt and would be careful to avoid the darkness of the world.

That time of fear occupied only a small part of her long life.

But now, it has become her daily life.

The book that loves the world.

From fearlessness to fearlessness.

Afraid that she would wake up in the middle of the night, Xie Ruhe did not dare to go and sat on the sofa next to her all night.

The next day at dawn, I woke up. She sat up, the spirit is still very poor, as if no reaction, blankly looking around.

Xie Ruhe was awakened by her movements and opened his eyes. He has long hands and feet. Sitting on this sofa all night, he is not very comfortable. At this point subconsciously stretched a stretch.

After reading the book, he asked in a low voice, "how do you sleep here?"

Xie Ruhe did not answer, pulled a topic: "what do you want to eat in the morning?"

Shunian shook his head: "I'll go wash."

She got up and suddenly noticed the clothes she was wearing. After a long time, she looked at Xie Ruhe. Shunian's face turned red instantly and muttered: "you can't change my clothes..."

Xie Ruhe also Leng next, ear root instant hair hot: "no, I find aunt to help you change."

Shunian pulled down his clothes and looked embarrassed. But she was afraid that Xie Ruhe might misunderstand her meaning and explained in embarrassment: "I didn't resist your meaning I just don't think it's good if I'm not married yet. "

“……” Xie Ruhe said, "I understand."One stood on the ground, the other half knelt on the bed.

There was a stalemate for a while.

Shunian thought it was not right, and added in a low voice: "I didn't imply that you would marry me..."