35 Philia-mania OR Dnim!

By the way, while I'm talking about philia*, I think the author had two ideas that went through his mind:

-A joke.

-A plot development.

Let's start by the joke…

In a psychiatric facility, a masochist, a zoophilous, a sadist, an assassin, a necrophiliac and a pyromaniac were bored to death. The zoophilous says:

-And if we fucked a cat in the ass?

Then the sadist answers:

-Oh yes, let's fuck the cat, then torture it!

The assassin continues:

-It's that, let's fuck the cat, torture it and next we kill it!

Then the nerophilous adds:

-Oh yeah, cool, we fuck the cat, torture it, kil lit and fuck it again!

The pyromaniac follows:

-Yeeeaaahhhh! Let's fuck the cat, torture it, kill lit, fuck it again and then burn it to ashes!

The room is now silent, everyone look at the masochist and ask him:

-Well, and you, you're not saying anything?

And the maso answers:

-Meow!

Next, it's the turn of the plot development.

[…]

The next morning…

I wake up, open my eyes, and am face to face with…

Lips!

No, not the lips high there, those down there…

Yes I'm pushing the metaphor too far!

Yes it's for the novel to stays suitable for all audiences**!

And?

All of that to say that this situation is becoming a running gag…

I push her out of my bed.

I leave my bedroom.

Now the only thing missing would be…

BOOM!

HOLY SHIT!

I pushed the door too hard, and there was a kid behind…

Oh, in fact it's okay.

This kid's is a candidate, so even if I kill him it's okay, there won't be any real investigation.

I'm going to eat with happy steps.

[…]

The joy is something relative…

Here for example, a lot of people would be happy to have a cute girl like Marie on their legs when they're eating.

But would they still be happy if she was touching herself with a hand?

Yes obviously.

And if she used a knife of the size of her arm to engrave hearts on your chair at a distance really, really too close for the security of your balls?

Yes.

Really…

No one would be happy with that!

No one!

After thinking about it, maybe the masochist of the joke higher would, but well, it doesn't count…

To try to stop her from continuing to engrave hearts, I distract her:

-By the way, about your capacities, did you mother have special genes?

She thinks for a while, before answering with an innocent air:

-I don't know, I never knew her, but it seems to me she was called Dnim!

-What a strange name… It seems like…

-…the name of an ancient species from before the empire that today disappeared and also to the author who spelled "mind" backwards…

She complete with a proud of herself air.

Eh… You capacity seems to become stronger and stronger it seems like.

Now she even breaks the 4th wall without knowing it…

Ah and by the way why does it looks like she's not a yantsundere/tsunyandere/everythingyouwant anymore since a few chapters?

She's only a yandere now? It's much better then!

*Edited the last chapter to stay true to what I wanted to say. Like it was "necrophily", but as I'll use several "philia" in this chapter… you know…

**If I knew that G rating existed before translating (for suitable for all audiences) I would have done a joke about G-point…