Finally Expressing One’s Identity Clearly
The Emperor already finished what he wanted to say and everyone had no doubts, the matter of the Sixth Prince being regent was considered as confirmed. Everyone kowtowed then left Zhao He Hall. At the end, Feng Yuheng gave the Emperor an anti-inflammatory injection and made arrangements to enter the palace every morning to give injections and medicine, then she left together with Xuan Tianming.
Everyone came in a large group, and left in a large group, leaving only the Empress who continued to remain in this side hall.
The Emperor did not chase her away and only waved a hand to dismiss all the servants, including Zhang Yuan. Finally, when only the Emperor and Empress were left in this side hall, he heard the Empress ask: “Is Your Majesty still waiting for that person to appear? If that person does not come after a long time, when do you plan to take away This Wife’s position of Empress?”
The Emperor vaguely remembered the first day of the New Year, he walked hand in hand with the Empress to Heavenly Hall to accept the greetings from the various ministers, he was also sarcastic and mocked the Empress who had done no wrong, and what he said was especially harsh. Thinking about it now, if it was him, it would also be difficult to accept.
He sighed bitterly, only saying: “You know as well, at the time, Our mind was not clear, and what We said and did was not something We could control, why does Empress need to pin this on Us now?” He looked at the Empress with a tired expression, saying again: “During this period, you must have suffered.”
The Empress shook her head, looking for a chair, moving it next to the Emperor’s bed and sitting down. She said: “This Wife did not think it was suffering, it was just anxiousness. And one more thing, I used to think that Your Majesty does not know, but after that, Liu Shi used it to threaten me, and after a few times, I realised with a shock and Your Majesty should know everything but only chose not to say it. Keeping me in the seat of Empress was only to attract people from that side into showing themselves. During the time before relations became bad, this identity was insignificant, but with this current situation, he has disappeared for many years, and This Wife has become an excellent chess piece once again.”
“We have never treated you as a chess piece.” The Emperor told her seriously: “As Da Shun’s Empress, you have contributed. We have ignored the imperial harem for so many years but saw you as a partner. Managing the country together with you is very comfortable. With one look from Us, you can understand its meaning, with one sentence from Us, you can carry it out with more understanding than anyone else. Working together with you, We do not need to speak too much and there is a tacit understanding, this is rare.”
This was the first time the Emperor proactively expressed his inner thoughts to the Empress, the Empress thought, if it was when the Emperor was young, he would definitely be unable to say these words. Even when before he experienced the series of incidents related to the Eighth Prince and Imperial Concubine Yuan Gui, he would always put up the airs of an Emperor, maintaining a proud dignified attitude, never taking the initiative to praise her. But right now, this old man said these words, causing her heart to ache when she heard it.
She spoke with a bitter smile: “Hearing this now, it seems like the relationship between us isn’t that of husband and wife, but only work partners. I keep you company in managing the country, holding up the imperial harem for your sake, sitting on the Empress’ seat, showing the best appearance for stabilising the hearts of the citizens. And you give me honour and authority, but the only thing you are not willing to give me is a bit of your feelings. Xuan Zhan” She called the Emperor’s name, “I might not be your first Empress, but I am your first wife, you should know, rather than authority, what a woman wants the most, is love from her husband, right?”
She said it in a miserable manner, and her presentable bearing which she held for so many years showed an aged appearance in an instant.
But the Emperor asked in return: “Not everyone thinks like that, thinking about that Liu Shi, what she wanted wasn’t affection, but power. If not, which woman who harboured feelings would use that kind of Gu poison techniques to harm her husband?”
“She also did it for her son.” The Empress said something very fair, “In addition, you neglected the imperial harem for more than twenty years because of Imperial Concubine Yun, how strong does the feelings of that woman have to be to not have all of that disappear in these more than twenty years? Xuan Zhan, don’t blame others. For everything in the world, if there is a cause, there will be an effect, this was a cause which you planted, so you need to bear with this kind of effect today. The good thing is that you still have a few good sons, and there was Ah-Heng to bring you back to life, else, this nation will have to be buried due to this.”
These words from the Empress which contained some admonishment stunned the Emperor when he heard this, he was stunned for half an incense’s worth of time before coming back to his senses, mumbling to himself: “It was all Our fault? It was Us who caused their love to become hatred, it was Us who caused them to become like how they are today?” As he spoke, he looked at the Empress, then asked: “How about you? In more than twenty years, We did not share a room with you, have you ever thought of harming Us like that Liu Shi?”
The Empress shook her head, “No. But this is not because I am honourable and noble, but because I do not have a son, in addition, you did give me the position of Empress, below one person and above thousands and thousands of people, therefore, I am different from them.”
“What you mean is, if you also have a son, if you’re not the Empress, you will be the same as Liu Shi?”
The Empress thought for a while, saying: “That might not be the case, after all, everyone’s personality is different. Like Imperial Concubine Gu Xian, Imperial Concubine De, they also have sons, but they did not do such things, right? But do not think that just because we won’t do it, other people would not do it. Think about why Feng-er gave the first decree to Imperial Concubine Li he obtained the role of regent! As the nation’s subject and as a son, wanting to protect his own birth mother, he had no choice but to use this method. I can tell Feng-er does not bear to do it, but this also means that Imperial Concubine Li must have harboured some thoughts which Feng-er had detected. Feng-er is a good child, but loyalty and filial piety could not be fulfilled at the same time, this was something he had no choice but to do and was his way of answering to all his brothers.”
With regards to giving the regent position to Xuan Tianfeng, the Emperor did not regret it, the Empress seemed to be satisfied at well. The Emperor raised a hand and wiped his face, sighing: “We thought that the throne was a good thing and clearly wanted to leave it to Ming-er, but Ming-er…… did not want it.” As he spoke, he looked toward the Empress, but brought up an old topic instead, he said: “Your words are correct and incorrect at the same time, We did want to make use of you to lure out that Duanmu Anguo, he set up a winter palace in the northern border to raise winter concubines and fathered so many children, countless daughters were then sent out of the country. We also knew about your identity many years ago, it was just that you did not know at that time. But We have never thought of removing you from your Empress position after luring Duanmu Anguo out. You are not a chess piece, but Our Empress.”
When the Empress heard these words, she did not really believe them. She looked towards the Emperor, wanting to find an opening from his expression. Unfortunately, she searched a few times and did not find it, so she could not help but ask: “You are speaking the truth? I am not a chess piece?”
The Emperor nodded, “No, you are Our Empress, and regardless of which prince ascends the throne in the future, you will be their first mother, you will be the Empress Dowager as expected.”
“But I am Duanmu Anguo’s daughter! Aren’t you afraid that I will betray Da Shun one day? Aren’t you afraid that once Duanmu Anguo dies, I will think of everything to take revenge for him?”
The Emperor could not help but laugh, “You will not.”
“Based on what?”
“Based on Our eyes.”
What else could the Empress say? She had worried over this matter for so many years, yet she heard this kind of answer today. She sat there in a daze and half a beat later, she actually covered her face in her hands, crying silently. This was the first time she cried without restraint ever since she became Empress, and she also did this in front of the Emperor, without caring for her image, she just wanted to cry and could not stop it.
The heart which had dangled in the air for so long was finally put down. She wanted to say that she was so tired, and that she was so happy. Even more than that, she wanted to say that even if she could not become the woman in his heart and was only an Empress in name, only a working partner, she already felt very fortunate. To be trusted so much by the man she placed in her heart, what else could she ask for?
Seeing the Empress cry like this, the Emperor also felt a sudden heartache. He wanted to raise his hand to comfort her, but after raising his hand, he could not reach and his body hurt once he moved, so he had no choice but to give up.
He put his hand down, thinking about what the Empress said earlier. It was true! Everything in the world operated on cause and effect. For the sake of Imperial Concubine Yun, he neglected the imperial harem for more than twenty years, regardless of how deeply those concubines and noble ladies felt for him, those feelings would have mostly eroded over these more than twenty years. Not becoming enemies was already rather good. In the case of Liu Shi becoming his enemy, it seemed to be considered normal.
However, if they become enemies, the revenge should only be directed at him and not involve the whole of Da Shun. With regard to this point, the Emperor drew the line clearly. Hearing the Empress cry now, what he was thinking was actually how to deal with those two people in the death row prison. He treasured family bonds, treasured blood relations, but this was the first time he was this disappointed in a son.
Finally, the Empress stopped crying, she smiled at the Emperor, wiping away the tears on her face as she smiled, “Your Majesty saw something embarrassing, it was This Wife who committed a breach of etiquette.”
The Emperor shook his head, “It’s no bother.”
“Since This Wife is not a chess piece, then This Wife will continue to be Da Shun’s Empress. Do not worry, Feng-er will not make any major mistakes as a regent, and This Wife will manage the imperial harem well. As for that person…… he will come eventually, he enabled me to be born but did not raise me, This Wife does not even remember his appearance, so, even if he comes looking for me, I do not have any thoughts of changing sides, Your Majesty does not need to worry.”
The Empress expressed her stand and gave herself a firm standpoint. When she walked out of Zhao He Hall, the haze which had accumulated in her hearts over the many years blew away. Even Fang Yi could detect the change in her. Though the Empress’ eyes were still red, Fang Yi asked with a smile: “Did something good happen to Your Highness?”
The Empress nodded, one hand placed on Fang Yi’s wrist, saying with some agitation: “From today onwards, we can live openly! There is no need to carry that large burden in our heart anymore!”
Fang Yi naturally understood what that “large burden” referred to and instantly became excited as well, “This means, His Majesty does not blame Your Highness? He does not mind your identity?”
“Yes! I am still the Empress and will always be the master of Da Shun’s imperial harem. This nation, I will protect it for Xuan Zhan. Until my death, I will definitely not allow anyone to take advantage of it!”
This day had been very eventful, someone had their dreams shattered and was thrown into death row prison, someone self-mutilated their body and was able to re-connect their lost part, and someone undid the knot in their heart which they had for many years, living openly from today onwards.
And outside the imperial palace, another ruler was in a private room in Refined Deity Building, using all his effort to placate the lady in front of him, telling her continuously: “If you are bothered by those three beautiful woman in the imperial harem, you can just get rid of them personally, This Monarch will not stop you. In addition, if you miss your homeland, This Monarch promises you that we can come back at least once a year, or you can come back anytime you want, alright? Let me tell you this.”