Chapter 116

"Ah Xin is back. Wash your hands and eat!" "Mom, I came first in my class in the final exam!" Hazy, the memory of the mother's cry is so familiar and strange.

"My son is wonderful! Dad will take you swimming this weekend His father always regarded himself as the pride of his life, but Chen Xin did not remember when his father no longer praised him.

"Dad, I want to buy an astronomical telescope. I promise I can get four A's at the end of this semester!" When I was a child, I always yearned for the sky. What was my ideal at that time? astronomer? astronaut? At that time, everyone seemed to think about the same thing.

"Son, you should take good care of yourself when you are outside. If you don't have enough money, please tell me." He was admitted to the University and left home for the first time in his life. His father, who was already white at the temples, stuffed a bank card into Chen Xin's pocket.

"Hello, I also belong to this dormitory. We will be brothers in the dormitory in the future." Chen Xin can't remember who this is in the dormitory, but it should be the eldest brother, right? The oldest, he always takes care of others.

"Ah Xin, look at that student sister, how soulful! Don't rob me, I want to chase her as a girlfriend Sister? Chen Xin was impressed by her. He didn't fight with his brother, but he was still lovelorn.

"Who's going to the canteen for dinner? Bring me one! Come on, come on! A point back to defense In the dormitory, a group of naked boys were playing games. At that time, they didn't even have many notebooks. What were they playing? It's like CS.

"Lights out, don't send messages to your girlfriend!" Someone is checking out the bedroom outside the door. Chen Xin almost forgets that they are not allowed to turn on the lights after 10 p.m. in the University.

"Senior, do you have a girlfriend? If not, can I be your girlfriend? " This is the first few to express themselves to the younger sister? Since his sophomore year, Chen Xin has been in charge of the work of welcoming new students every year. In addition, he is quite handsome, so he can't remember how many schoolgirls he has confessed to him.

"Little Chen Xuedi, do you want to form a club with Xuejie?" Which sister is this? Why don't you remember?

"Let's sing together! Celebrate the founding of our new society When did I form a club?

"What's the song? I can play piano accompaniment. It happens that there is a piano here Who can play piano? Why don't I remember?

"Can you play" the end of the earth "? That song was very popular a few years ago. " Why did I choose this song? Let's celebrate the establishment of the new club. Shouldn't we sing a more festive song?

"The song adapted from the song of bamboo? I will. I've studied the original Japanese. " Sister sat in front of the piano, bright music sounded.

However, it is strange that Xuejie sang the Japanese version, while Chen Xin sang the Chinese version himself.

But the two songs use the same song, the melody is the same, so even if the lyrics are not the same, Chen Xin and her piano playing sister still cooperate very well.

Just as they were singing together, the sound of the alarm clock suddenly broke the harmony.

Chen Xin wakes up.

He grabbed the mobile phone on the bedside table and turned off the alarm clock. Chen Xin sat up from the bed.

The newly installed ground source heat pump has started to work, and now the temperature in the shelter has risen again, which is not as cold as it was a few days ago. Chen Xin doesn't have to do a lot of ideological struggle in bed to get up every day.

However, although people wake up, the memories that emerge in the dream make Chen Xin feel melancholy and make him still immersed in those memories.

Little by little I lived with my parents when I was a child, the friendship I had with my classmates, brothers and friends when I grew up in school, and the people I loved in my life

Memories are beautiful, but also heavy.

However, what Chen Xin cares most about is not only his parents, but also the last of his dreams, the elder sister who sang with him.

Strictly speaking, it's not Xuejie, because she and Chen Xin are students of the same level, but they are half a year older than Chen Xin, so after they met, she would let Chen Xin call her Xuejie all the time.

Recalling the high spirited self ten years ago, the things that were worth remembering in school, and the people who were worth remembering, Chen Xin felt that he was attracted by a huge vortex, and his emotions were constantly falling, and he couldn't get rid of them.

After brushing his teeth and washing his face, Chen Xin did not go to prepare breakfast as usual, but sat on the sofa with a bit of decadence and darkness.

Chen Xin is not surprised that he dreams about the past. People's dreams are related to what they think. It's normal to have thoughts every day and dreams at night.

But The people and things in the memories, the places full of memories, have disappeared and can't go back.

Looking at the paper he pasted on the wall last night and the goal he set, Chen Xin fell into deep self doubt. Can he really achieve this goal? Can you really stick to it? Does your persistence make sense?Chen Xin is not easily decadent or depressed, but at this moment he is deeply in self doubt and denial.

He is doubting his ability, his motivation and his purpose of living

The end of the world is not only an environment of great mental pressure, but also a continuous and almost endless heavy pressure environment.

In such an environment, the pressure of survival, the loneliness of spirit, the despair of not seeing the future hope

These emotions are constantly accumulating. Some people have poor tolerance and may soon collapse. But even those with strong tolerance can hardly keep optimistic and positive in such an environment.

Because there is really no reason to make people optimistic, and there is no future to look forward to that can make people positive.

Before Chen Xin, perhaps because of the existence of the system, he did not feel so much pressure. He felt that his life would only get better and better, and he was able to maintain an optimistic attitude.

But when he recalls the past and the good, and contrasts with the loneliness, loneliness, darkness and coldness of the present, the pressure and negative emotions accumulated from the end of the world burst out at the moment, and Chen Xin can no longer hold on.

He is not a Brooklyn kid who can never be defeated, nor is he the kind of dragon Aotian who can instantly change his mentality from an ordinary person to the one who strives to dominate the world and kill gods and demons.

Chen Xin is just an ordinary person, who is no different from everyone else. He will cry, be afraid, be decadent and despair.

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