The Long Way 9 – A post ice resort

White ice melted away at a rapid pace, transforming their frigid environment into a clear lake that washed around their feet. Simultaneously, the ceiling was sealed by rapidly growing crystals leaving the group no avenue to leave the room. Not until, suddenly, the still lake began to stream away. A hole, hidden behind a layer of ice over a metre thick, had become unsealed. Although most of the opening was above the surface, there was enough of it below to give the water an escape route. With the sole purpose of counteracting this drain, several circles opened along the walls, pumping fresh water inside.

The group, having known this would happen, stripped to protect their clothes from getting soaked. The water was thankfully hot, but, somehow, the air was still frigid cold. Because of that, all three of them dropped down under the surface the moment they could. That moment being after Apexus had ‘devoured’ their adventurer’s bags. He kept them in a cavity he had created in his chest. It took conscious effort to maintain such a hole inside himself, similar to walking around with puffed up cheeks. It was also the best way the group could come up with to prevent another loss of one of their valuable adventurer’s bags.

‘If I can turn acid production off, the stomach is going to work as an in-body pouch too,’ Apexus realized, while they walked over to the boss. The crocodile’s body was plainly visible in the now clear water.

“I don’t really want to land on that,” Reysha commented, with an eye on all of the spikes jutting from the crocodiles’ scales. They were more abrasive than sharp, but that only reduced it from ‘deadly’ to ‘incredibly painful’.

“I’ll go down first and make sure that doesn’t happen,” Apexus assured and rolled his shoulder. He was mostly restored by now, there had been enough waiting time to get himself back in order. Obviously, the regeneration left him quite famished and there was a mountain of meat, over five metres long, right in front of him. It wasn’t on the menu quite yet, however.

“I approve of that plan, darling,” nodded Aclysia.

“Fun part first,” Reysha sighed and moved to the tail-end of the crocodile. “Hope you can lift this fucker, Apexus.”

“I can try,” the slime responded and all three of them did their best to move the corpse over to the hole. Normally, when a group went through the hassle of doing what they were doing now, they did so in order to skin the beast afterwards. There were enough eccentric or highly skilled craftsmen interested in the white scales. This eccentric group only cared for their next meal though.

It took them about ten minutes of shoving and pushing to get the crocodile to the hole. Once they had aligned it head first with the hole, the water drag started to ever so minorly move the body along. Apexus gave it one last kick and then the corpse was past the point of no return, sliding down and vanishing from sight behind a corner.

“Ya better not start eating without me!” Reysha warned.

“No guarantees,” the slime responded with a deliberate grin, before jumping after their next meal.

“SLIMY COCK-PROVIDER!” he heard shouted after him, as the stream claimed him. There were a number of other curses, but they were lost between the growing distance and the sound of rushing water all around. Looking over his shoulder, the humanoid slime only saw stone, while he slid down a winding path.

All around Apexus was stone, polished by divine will to the point that there was basically no friction left. The tunnel steadily descended, gravity accelerating water and water accelerating the slime, who greatly enjoyed the sensation. ‘It’s quite similar to flying,’ he thought, turning on his stomach. His wings, particularly his feathers, were aligned in the wrong direction and slowed him down. Once he had fixed that issue, the only thing that stopped him from forever accelerating were water resistance and curves.

Apexus didn’t know when he reached top speed. After about a hundred metres down the slide, the only light inside it came in the form of tiny fluorescent crystals that were part of the flawlessly smooth walls. The dots flew by him, as if he was rapidly cutting through the midnight sky. It was such a carefree rush of speed that the slime couldn’t help but smile widely.

He was inside that slide for half an hour, travelling far out of the main dungeon and through entire mountains. The hot water kept him warm through the entire trip. All good things came to an end eventually, however, and this particular one came into view as a bright light at the end of the night sky tunnel. Apexus braced himself for impact.

Sliding into a large, deepening pool, he gradually lost his speed, thanks to the larger body of water putting up more resistance. By chance, the crocodile corpse had swerved off to the left, sparing Apexus the potentially painful collision. Moving it further to the side wasn’t exactly easy, but he managed to at least drag it far enough that there was no risk involved. Then he managed to even drag it out of the pool entirely.

‘I guess Reysha is slower because she is lighter?’ Apexus wondered. Minimizing resistance and maximizing mass were the key to acceleration when sliding down a slope and, given the distance involved, the difference in weight caused a predictable difference in time as well. The slime used it to pull out their bags and inspect the surroundings.

The slide had ended in an underground cave of the cosy variety. It was clearly not natural. The walls were almost perfectly rectangular, stone benches stuck out of the walls and there were two fireplaces, one for a simple campfire and one for an impromptu stove. A number of stone barriers segmented five narrow areas that could be used for people to sleep in relative privacy. There were also stone chests there, whose lids just waited to be lifted by those that had weathered the White Ice dungeon. Two tunnels lead out of this underground chamber. While all of that was impressive, in a way, it only accounted for the quarter of the room that was dry.

The rest was taken up by the pool. The slide provided steady, fresh and warm water. The further one got away from the slide, the deeper the water got, reaching its maximum depth at about two metres. Turning into a soft L-shape at that depth, the pool had a part to it that was optimal to swim in. On the inside corner of that curve was an area isolated via a circular wall that rose knee-high above the surface. A submerged bench was attached to the inside of that wall and at the centre of that segment was a thermal vent, which steadily spewed out pleasantly hot bubbles.

‘Looks quite relaxing,’ Apexus thought and raised his eyes to the ceiling. A giant red crystal was fused to it and provided the light for the entire place. It was round and the qualities of the light reminded Apexus of a weaker evening sun. It heated up the room to decent temperatures as well. A distant shout caused him to direct his gaze back at the slide.

“WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Reysha shouted, coming down the rest of the slope feet-first and cutting through the water. She vanished completely under the surface for a moment, then jumped up, naked and happy. “That was fucking AWESOME!” she declared, walking over to Apexus. “Ahhh, fuck, my heart is pumping, that alone was almost worth the shitty ice dungeon.”

“It was entertaining,” Apexus wasn’t quite as enthusiastic, he could fly and get a similar feeling whenever he wanted, but he got where she was coming from. “Where’s Aclysia?”

“No fucking clue, she jumped in right after me but her fat ass slowed her down,” Reysha looked to the corpse, then to Apexus, and deliberated what she wanted to eat first. Adrenaline got the better off her, ultimately. “Fuck me?” she half-asked, half-suggested, casually.

“Food first,” the slime had to deny her. The mind was willing, especially after the below-average opportunities they had inside the dungeon, but the body was famished and not ready to perform to the degree Reysha deserved. Mildly disappointed, but appeased by the alternative prospect, Reysha accompanied the slime to the corpse. They divvied up who got what, Reysha claimed most of the meaty bits while Apexus was happy to proclaim a monopoly on bones and most organs, and started eating. Apexus held back on forming the stomach, in case the crocodile one was more to his liking.

They had already gotten through a fifth of the mountain of meat, when Aclysia slowly and quietly slid down the water stream. She had so little momentum, she barely even disturbed the water’s surface. A fact that seemed to bother Reysha, “You’re supposed to shout and make a giant splash, Aclysia! Were you unable to pick up speed because your ass is that deliciously huge?”

“You already made that joke,” Apexus remarked, while yanking an entire leg bone out of the meat and swallowing it like a circus actor would a sword.

Reysha’s bloody knife, her primary assistant in carving out mouth-sized pieces, pointed at Aclysia. “Not towards her, I haven’t.”

“And what, if I may inquire, Reysha, makes you the grand overseer of stone sliding culture?” Aclysia asked. The white-haired fairy fluttered her wings at a high frequency after she had left the pool, drying the black and white fuzz in record speed. “Although the size of my butt certainly was a slowing factor, I deliberately did not chase immense acceleration.”

“Why not though?” Reysha munched on a strip of meat while she asked. “We knew where we would end up, no need to play it safe.”

“Because I do not enjoy uncontrollable velocity.”

“You’re such a weirdo, bubble butt.”

“I do not want to hear that from you, you… you…” Aclysia, brilliant as she was, did not possess the talent of quickly coming up with witty nicknames, “…bloody cat!”

“Hehahaha,” Apexus laughed out loud, deeply amused.

“Really?” Reysha raised both eyebrows. “That made you laugh, really? Bloody fucking cat?”

“It’s an acute observation of your visual appearance,” Aclysia defended her choice of words. “You’re redhaired and a humanoid of the feline beastkin category. Furthermore, you’re absolutely covered in gore at the moment.”

“Ya could say I have bad table manners – or floor manners in this case,” Reysha rammed her knife into the corpse and sawed through the weakest link between scales and flesh she could find. “Call me a mental mess of a messy eater or something. That’s way better than bloody cat.”

“Bubble butt is just as much a physical observation.”

“That’s different and you know it,” Reysha countered with a giggle.

“Logically it’s not.”

“In reality it hits different though, so I win.”

“Bloody cat is a physical description, bubble butt is also a desirable trait and more humorous due to the casualness with which Reysha approaches sex,” Apexus chimed in.

“I thought you were on my side, darling.”

“Sorry, Aclysia, but I laughed because of how awkward the delivery was.”

“That…” the metal fairy’s wings spread out, while the shame flushed her face.

“Look at that, a blood red angel,” Reysha joked.

“Alright, that’s enough,” Apexus interrupted the bantering. These two got along lovingly almost all of the time but there were some times, when Aclysia had a particularly vulnerable and Reysha an especially mean day, that their discussions could slide into genuine fight territory. They were still the same two girls who had bitterly bickered over moral differences in the Birchia dungeon, after all. Even being lovers didn’t just eliminate personal differences. In some cases, that relationship dynamic even served as an exasperating factor. “Speed is nice, but my melody being careful is good for us all.”

“You’re absolutely right in that sense,” Reysha conceded that point immediately. She didn’t register actively that she was pushing it a bit too far, but she wasn’t opposed to complimenting Aclysia either. In the first place, Reysha was just insanely blunt about everything she thought. It just often came out as semi-insulting banter. “Love ya, ‘Clysia.”

“I… haaah…” the metal fairy sighed and calmed the complicated mess of emotions. Walking over to the bubbling fountain, she sat down on the wall and watched the two eat. “I love you too… annoying as you can be.”

“I get paid in meat for shutting my stupid trap,” Reysha joked. “Monster meat or man meat, I accept either.”

“As long as you don’t accept all comers.”

“I only accept one cummer,” Reysha giggled and accelerated on eating. Thinking about it had made her horny again and the quicker she and Apexus ate, the quicker they could transition to the next stage of their post-dungeon relaxation schedule.

The only flaw with that plan was that she, stuffed to the brim with the rich, dark meat of the crocodile, had no room for any other kind of stuffing. “I think I might fall into a food coma,” she gasped, laying on her back, her usually flat stomach visibly rounder from the thorough meal. “If I don’t wake up… I died happily.”

“Don’t be so dramatic,” Aclysia told her and pulled a blanket out of her bag. “Wash yourself, I’ll get us a place to sleep in order.”

“You’re the best,” Reysha burped and made her way to the water. Soon thereafter, she was laying on a makeshift bed and drifted to sleep. Aclysia went back to watching Apexus eat. There was still a lot of it left and he didn’t have a stomach that could be filled up.

That wasn’t to say he had no stomach at all. That was no longer true. He had, after some deliberation, acquired the crocodile’s over the bear’s digestion organ. The choice for this was simply that one had come from a boss and the other from a regular dungeon monster. Neither had better acid than Apexus’ own, so it hardly mattered what he went with in that regard.

The new Growth sat, as planned, inside Apexus’ ribcage and functioned exactly as expected. Fundamentally, it was nothing but a permanent cavity within him, which he could use to mimic breathing, store things inside his body or digest things. Digesting things through the stomach was noticeably more efficient than doing it with the rest of his body. The acid was of a higher concentration and churned through basically anything organic in a matter of, at most, minutes. The hole that usually connected the stomach to the intestines was then used to distribute the nutrition in the rest of the body. The stomach acid production could be started and ended whenever Apexus wanted.

“I’m going to test something, don’t be alarmed,” Apexus warned the metal fairy watching him and tensed up, mouth open. Acid rushed up the connection between mouth and stomach, but stopped short of the back of the throat. Apexus had to lean forward and spit, to force any at all out. The drop fell on the crocodile corpse, sizzled for a moment, then became simple water. It was stronger acid, but it was still his acid – disconnected from his mana, it lost its properties. “Guess that won’t work.”

“Acid spitting?” Aclysia guessed correctly. “There would be strategic utility to it. I must admit, however, that I find it aesthetically displeasing.”

“Is that because of the acid itself or the way I would deliver it.”

“The latter,” Aclysia explained, after a moment of deliberation. “If summoned in a similar fashion to fire or ice breath, it doesn’t strike me as an aesthetically displeasing display. Vomiting in someone’s face, however, is rather crude. Admittedly, crude and effective should be prioritized over good looking and dead.”

“Right,” Apexus agreed.

He was just finishing with the crocodile when Reysha woke up again from her nap. Needing to go for redheaded tigers, she went down the left of the two passageways. The dungeon guide had described this cavern in all of its details, including the optimal place to take care of waste disposal. Once she was back, and considerably less bloated in the stomach area, Reysha hopped back into the pool and thoroughly cleaned herself. Towards the end of that procedure, she suggested, “How about we stay here for a couple of days? Like two or three.”

“I’m not opposed to a break after that horrid ice dungeon…” Apexus said and looked over to Aclysia. “Can we stay here, resource wise?”

“That depends entirely on your gluttony and the availability of fresh game,” the metal fairy pondered. “This room remains accessible from the outside, provided we know the entrance. This may allow us to hunt, which means we won’t have to rely on our dried meat stores. The water supply will dry up when the boss respawns, which should occur within a week at the earliest, so will not have an issue there.”

“There’s snow outside the door, water will never be a problem,” Reysha said.

“I mean that the water will no longer be heated,” Aclysia clarified.

“Ah, alrighty,” the tiger girl nodded. “So, proposal accepted?”

“I would say we can stay up to five nights if we procure additional food, two if not,” Aclysia said.

“Five is a tad longer than what I suggested,” Reysha pointed out. “Somebody sick of ice as well?”

“I would just appreciate a prolonged break from travelling,” Aclysia sighed and stretched. She had always been the most ‘civilized’ of the three and therefore less enthusiastic about their nomadic lifestyle. That was not to say that she was feeling tortured because of it, just that she wanted to settle down somewhere safe sometime. “Five days is as long as I can justify to myself, given our, thankfully distant, predicaments.”

“Are we going out searching for food then?” Reysha asked, kneeling in the water.

“No,” Apexus denied and got on his feet. The two women looked at him quizzically, but switched moods immediately when they saw the swelling member between his legs. “First we properly celebrate our victory.”