Chapter 17

When Shyu first entered the mansion, he had no expression. Perhaps the shock of being abandoned by his parents was too big. Victoria, deputy leader at the time, played a big role in changing the child’s inability to eat or sleep.

Victoria’s affectionate appearance changed the child’s blank expression with her care and meals from time to time, teaching him how to grab a spoon, cutting his shaggy hair herself, and treating him like a little brother.

Fred, who had just entered the knights, often witnessed it.

Shyu had a lot of free time; he followed Victoria like a puppy, waiting for her, and never left the front door.

Even if a screw comes off his head, he can tell who’s good or bad.

Fred didn’t know if he should be impressed or vicious. He had no hobby of caring for others and was just awkward with the two of them being unnecessarily affectionate.

But it didn’t last for long.

When the season when sugar was picked up came, Victoria didn’t come back from the woods.

The only thing that was found was a pendant that she always carried around. The child, who was alone again, stayed in the room without eating for a time. That was why Turk stared at him, and Fred, who knew why, remained on the sidelines as always.

But what’s wrong with him?

It was as if he was looking back at the time when he had just joined the Knights.

Fred glanced at Shyu’s face, who looked like he wanted to talk to someone. He turned to Ian. However, Ian went on doing his job by ignoring it thoroughly.

‘There’s no way that je*k could’ve been as nice as Victoria, so what’s making him act like a local son of a bi*ch again?’

[T/N: Fred probably meant Ian by “je*k” and meant Shyu by “son of a bi*ch”.]

Fred narrowed his eyes at the unknown situation.

In fact, even Ian did not know the reason.

He has never helped him or treated him kindly.

Since the only time he saw him was yesterday, he was even more confused than Fred.

There was a moment of silence between the two who had the same question but could not form a consensus at all. Somehow Fred, who had long lost his fighting spirit, opened his mouth.

“You should be more careful.”

Because that bas*erd got bad luck.

[T/N: Talking about Shyu most probably.]

Soon, only Shyu and Ian remained in the fountain again as Fred returned without further ado with a single word.

Tramp!

I’m used to the loud noises every day without fail. However, I can clearly see that it’s not normal for a child who still couldn’t place woodblocks together properly. His cheeks, which used to look like custard cream, appear even worse. Even if you didn’t want to know, you could instantly tell.

But as soon as he saw me, he smiled.

Looking at the stump, it looked like it was the ankle this time.

Yesterday, he injured his wrist ligament.

It was quite an unusual act to leave one place to repair properly a day. It was obvious that the guy, Turk, whom Fred was talking about, did it, but it wasn’t his business.

Unlike the first day, Ian, who was looking at a relatively small pile of clothes, felt a tingling sensation, paused for a moment, and slowly raised his hand. His hands, which had been overworked by ice water for days without a break, turned green as if he had been frostbitten. When he looked at the redness of the swollen joints, he finally realised the fundamental reality of what they did.

It had already been a week.

He did not enter the Knights with great ambition.

He knew it would turn into a power struggle, but he couldn’t figure out what to do there. Ian wasn’t a friendly person in the first place. From the very beginning, he was not good enough to be kind to those who openly showed their dislike towards him.

Nevertheless, the reason why they never confronted each other was simple. If you react first, you’ll look shallow. Barking like a dog with a fur tail. Well, the next thing was obvious. Roxian, the Prince, and the noble, all the words that would be poured out from them were expected.

I didn’t ask for anything.

Looking down at the frozen fingertips again, Ian blinked.

I was just wondering if I’d see that man again if I came in here.

He seemed to have vaguely expected to meet him again because he heard Ailee’s words of the Grand Duke’s command.

However, contrary to Ian’s expectations, he had never encountered the man since that day.

Sometimes it seemed like he’d come out to coach once in a while. Ian didn’t walk to the fountain far from the training ground. It was natural that they weren’t close enough to oftenly see each other.

But why is that upsetting?

There was only one conclusion that Ian, who had been agonizing over his feelings that he couldn’t understand at all, could make.

After opening his eyes here, Ian felt like he was floating in the air the whole time. It was not clear why he was caught up in this situation, which was far from fantasy. However, since blood was flowing and he was breathing, he could have tried to commit suicide again like he originally intended. But he didn’t do that and he couldn’t figure out why.

The reason why he took his own life after struggling desperately.

Neither at the orphanage nor at his family house, even at the moment when he first killed a man, Ian had never thought of dying. He had no choice but to do so. It seemed like the world was telling him to die, so he somehow tried to survive.

“……..”

However, he eventually shoved a knife in his own throat.

So, he wanted to at least know why. To do that, he had to run into that man once again. Because it was almost certain that the man had something to do with his empty memories.

Splash!

[T/N: I am sorry, I am bad with SFXs, but it’s meant to be the sound of water.]

The child who had been away for a while, approached him, perhaps because he couldn’t hear the splash of the water.

He glanced at him and smiled innocently with his usual swollen face. It wasn’t pleasant to feel the sense of friendliness at their own discretion. The child’s gaze moved downwards as if he had adapted to Ian, who had no particular response.

The gaze of those softly coloured eyes moved to the back of Ian’s hand.

Ian thought he was just staring at him strangely, and not before long the kid suddenly stretched out his arms.

It was obvious as to what he was going to do.

Ian, with his eyes contorted, and shuddered at the body temperature he felt at the next moment.

Slap!

With the back of his hand, which became hot in an instant, the child took a step back. Looking at his surprised face, Ian didn’t know what to do. He knew he didn’t have to be this sensitive, but he couldn’t help feeling depressed. Ian, who had a cold expression on his face, stared straight at the child.

I just wanted you to know.

That if another person is not worthy of your affection, you should turn your back without hesitation.

Ian knew that no matter how ignorant he was. If he doesn’t even greet the child who hanged around him for days, he wouldn’t do it no matter how hard they try, regardless of the person.

If you are starving for love and pour out your heart recklessly, only moments of regrets would come. The child took a step back as he read Ian’s openly exposed expression, the boy looked at Ian with hesitation. His face, not knowing why Ian was angry, resembled a certain someone. Ian licked his lips which had not opened since the first time they met.

‘Go.’

He spoke so firmly that the boy had no choice but to understand.

Seeing the hesitating child’s eyes turning round, it seemed to have been conveyed properly.

Maybe it was because he hadn’t responded properly for days. Ian eventually sighed and patted his head at the sight of the child faltering as if he had heard something unexpected.

I was just tired of everything.

It was cold, I had a lot of work to do, and I couldn’t think of a way to get my memories back.

He had done a lot of things without any reason, but that didn’t mean it was okay. It was now darker than when he used to drag people around and kill them. Unlike back then, when there was an abstract goal, there was nothing now. He was confused about whether he should live or to die. Ian felt like he was drifting as if he was being swept away by the lives of others.

I couldn’t read the child’s expression properly.

It wouldn’t have been a very good expression to see if he came closer.

He seemed to take his anger out on me, but it didn’t matter. As soon as I turned my head, the child took another step back and turned around.

Ian only heard the boy dragging his injured ankle along the floor and soon he disappeared near the front door. At last, Ian stood there next to the empty seat.

This was the end.

It was better to cut the buds from the beginning, even if you return the kindness, it had a clear ending.

Ian, who turned around in a hurry, approached the fountain and pushed all the remaining clothes into the water. Again, his hand touched the ice water, but it never bothered him. Although, if he had to do this tomorrow, he would rather turn around and punch Fred.

I wonder if it’s been 30 minutes.

As he was rinsing out the last few clothes, he heard the crunching of snow from behind.

It wasn’t strange for someone to pass by since it was a path used by the knights. However, Ian with his sharp ears, immediately noticed that the footsteps were heavy.

Crunch.

Unlike when he disappeared, the steps that followed were cautious.

Ian didn’t look back because he didn’t rent* it here, and it was funny to yell at him to do this and that. Knowing that the person was getting closer, Ian continued on working as if he didn’t hear a thing.

[*T/N: Can be said as a saying… Like he didn’t rent it there that he have to pay attention to everything… Like that]

It was then he felt the body of the one approaching him, overshadowing him.

Jul-Jul-Jul.*

[*T/N: This is an SFX for pouring water, I don’t know how to translate this so I just put the romanization of what was written in Korean (졸졸졸.)]

Ian didn’t move his hands for some time. It was as if they were being broken down by the lukewarm water poured over his hands.

In the lukewarm water poured over his hands, the Word could not move as if it had broken down for a while.

ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ

T/N: I don’t know why this chapter took so much time to translate, sorry for the delay.(´；ω；｀)