Chapter 131 - Tom's Breakdown (slightly +18)

"Are you okay?" Claudia asked as soon as the two of them sat down in a separate room. 

"Do I look like that?" Tom replied with a question on his own, raising his eyes to the girl only to lower them down a moment later. 

The revelation was just too big. Too big for Tom to swallow just like that. 

"No, you don't," Claudia said, lowering her head. "But still, I'm sorry," she added, taking a step closer and sitting beside the man. "I was jealous, and I assumed quite a lot of things, pushing my anger and insecurity on you," she said, clearly trying to get Tom's mind off the massive news. 

"Sorry, but I'm not ready to talk yet," Tom replied, cutting the topic. 

'This should be good news,' he thought, clenching his teeth. 'After all, I have a confirmation that father is actually alive,' he thought, trying to look for the positives. 

But this situation was just unreal. Even if Tom couldn't really make any long-reaching guesses about the details, he couldn't really believe the wall he just faced. 

"Come here," Claudia whispered, reaching with her hands and grabbing Tom's head. She then moved her upper body a little closer, only to rest Tom's face right in her chest. "I really don't know what to say right now, so that's the best I can do for you," she muttered, running her fingers through Tom's hair. 

'What am I supposed to do now?' Tom thought, barely noticing what was happening to his body. 'Just go all in and look for him?' He attempted to shake his head, only to rub his face against Claudia's bust. 'No, that won't do,' he bit his lips, 'we still don't know how powerful people are on the battlefield,' he thought, unsure what he should do. 

For the first time in a very long time, Tom was genuinely lost. For the first time in a very long time, he couldn't see a path for him to follow. 

'How come I could throw a gauntlet to the greatest and mightiest organization in the world with ease but be stopped by an actual news about my father?' he asked himself, trying to find a reason in the entire thing.

"Isn't it great, though?" Claudia said, still trying to somehow cheer him up.  But Tom was too focused on his own thoughts to even notice her voice. "I mean, all the way up until this point, you had no idea whether your father was even alive. Even if you don't really know what to make out of what we learned, aren't we at least one step closer to finding him?" she asked, even though Tom wasn't in a state to reply. 

For a moment, the two just remained in the same position. Claudia continued to gently rub Tom's scalp while the young man continued to battle with his own thoughts and doubts. 

"I have no idea what I should do now," he muttered, revealing the inner state of his mind for the first time. 

Even since Claudia was low-key forced to follow him, Tom made sure to always appear as the oasis of calmness, always ready to reassure the girl in a potential moment of doubt. Yet, against all odds, he was the one to break his mental fortitude first. 

Tom was perfectly aware of this fact, making it even harder for him to pull himself together. As if he was stuck in some kind of limbo, he was aware of how whining like he was doing right now wasn't helping, yet he was unable to stop. 

"Okay, that's it," Claudia whispered in a decisive tone before pulling Tom back on the bed. 

Shaken by the sudden movement, the young man only managed to gasp for air before his head once again landed on the soft flesh of the girl's chest. 

"What are you doing?" he asked, momentarily forced out of his limbo. 

"Listen here, you little," she muttered, pressing on the back of Tom's head, forcing his face even closer against her breasts. "You don't need to take everything on your shoulders. I know that's what every man in the world want's to be, but you are not some kind of hero to tackle all the world's problems all on your own!" she said. Yet, despite how stern her voice was, her embrace remained as supportive as it was before. 

"I'm not trying to save the world," Tom protested, confused by the sudden accusation. "I'm just lost. I was so eager to find my father, only to find out that he is currently heralding a massive war. The same war that might make it impossible for us to go and find him!" he said, barely stopping himself from shouting. 

From Tom's perspective, everything went terribly wrong. He made the massive ruckus at the guild mostly in hopes of setting the foundations for making a name for himself. It was something he deemed necessary to become influential enough to even begin a serious search for his father. 

But as it turned out, he was too late. While he was busy believing that his father was gone, while he was busy playing Dungeons Online like the massive crowd of clueless players all around the world, his father was leading a second life in this world. 

'Did he leave me just like that?' A thought appeared in Tom's head, finally striking right at the core of his confusion. 'Was I looking for someone that no longer cares about me?' he asked himself, tightening his fingers into fists. 

'Was it all meaningless?' Tom thought, closing his eyes and allowing his face to sink into Claudia's soft bosom. 'Did he even want me to find him?' he continued to ask himself the questions that were insanely painful yet necessary for him to move on. 

"I think you are overthinking this," Claudia said, calmly accepting Tom's need for intimacy. Rather than shrieking, pushing him away, or even restraining how much he could immerse himself in her flesh, she accepted him all, all the while trying to figure out a way to help his mental self. "The truth is, we don't know anything. Like, isn't it strange that one of your father's followers is going against him now?" Claudia asked only for her body to suddenly freeze. "Wait, what did you say that girl told you back in the dungeon?" she suddenly asked, grabbing the sides of Tom's face and forcefully lifting his head up. 

"Huh?" Tom muttered, clueless what was the content of the question. With his thoughts running wild in his head, he found refuge in the warmth of her body, a refuge that allowed him to kill all his thoughts. "What did you ask again?"

"That girl in the dungeon, the one you described to the slaves," Claudia spelled out her words one by one. "What did she tell you?" 

"Hmm," Tom took a moment to gather his thoughts, giving up the control of the conversation without a care in the world. "To find her... On the other side?" he said, not even sure if his memory was correct at this point. 

"Assuming that she knew where we came from, and she had to given how we met on the last floor, don't you find it strange?" Claudia asked, only to move her hand and slap Tom's cheek. 

"Huh?" Tom shook his head as the pain forced all the useless thoughts away. "What's strange?" he asked, focusing all his brainpower on the question. "If she knew that we came from the other side, then isn't it obvious that she would ask us to find her on the side she was in?" he asked, puzzled by the girl's questioning. 

"Then where she is now?" Claudia asked, looking directly into Tom's eyes while holding his chin to stop him from averting them. 

"And how could I know?" Tom replied as small bits of anger poisoned his voice. "I know that I posed as someone who knew everything, but can't you see that I'm just as clueless about this world as you are?" he asked, his anger starting to boil in his soul. 

In fact, Tom wasn't angry at Claudia. Even if she was pushing him a little with her questions, it was no reason for him to get agitated over. What was making him furious was how he had to accept that he no longer was in control over his situation. Something that he was experiencing for the first time in his adult life. 

"This is exactly what I want you to think about," Claudia said, still holding Tom's face in place. "If she was in the dungeon back then, then shouldn't she wait for you at its entrance?" the girl asked. 

"Wait, I think I'm starting to get it," Tom muttered, lowering his eyes as his brain started to work properly again. 

"If she asked you to find her, then it means she was perfectly aware that you two wouldn't meet at the dungeon's entrance. And given what we learned about her from those slaves..." Claudia said, only to cut her sentence short and let Tom voice its ending himself. 

"She wasn't anywhere near this dungeon when it all happened," Tom muttered, feeling as if something finally clicked. "If the war started even before we appeared in the city if she is one of the leading figures of one faction, then she couldn't be in the dungeon when we met her!" Tom suddenly exclaimed, finally realizing what was low-key bothering him all this time. 

"I think the situation is far more complicated than common people are allowed to know," Claudia said, finally letting go of Tom's face, only to pull him back on herself. 

With his head once again surrounded by the warm and fragrant flesh of the girl, Tom could feel the sea of his soul calming down. Even with all the magic that he learned and experienced in the dungeon, the magic of intimacy was still something that he could fight against. 

"What are we going to do, then?" Claudia asked, moving her hands down from Tom's hair to his back, only to slip them even further down towards his hips. "What do you command, my lord?" she asked provocatively as she locked her legs around Tom's hips. 

"For now, we ride," Tom said, raising his head and placing a long, deep kiss on the girl's lips. Feeling how her own abdomen started to move around, he could feel the fires of lust exploding in his mind. 

Like a firestorm, all his doubts started to melt and then boil away as the raging current of his carnal desires filled both his flesh and body. 

"And then what?" Claudia asked with a smile as she started to unbutton her shirt, allowing her chest to see the light of the local sun for the first time. 

"Now that I think about it," Tom muttered as he buried his face in the girl's breasts, "I think we should actually go back," he said, moving his lips up and catching Claudia's nipple between his teeth.