Chapter 195: Existence

Point-of-View: Fuo Wesroh

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"So tell me...just who are you?" Inquired Atticus, a hint of panic appearing in Shiro's eyes as he said that. 

What was with that reaction? So, then, Atticus was right. Something really is wrong here... 

"Huh? What do you mean, I don't get what you're asking me," He replied with a confused look. 

He'd covered it up quickly, but I definitely saw some panic in his eyes...there was no doubt about it. 

"Well, it is just the strangest thing...I seem to remember you with black hair and black clothes...in fact, just like whoever it was that you fought outside the Goblin cave today. And yet, Fuo remembers you as you are right now, all in white...so, I will ask you again...just who are you?"

This was making me feel really nervous...why was Atticus pushing him like this anyway? He was so terrified before, but now, he's being way too bold... 

"I don't have a choice, none of this makes sense, and I have a bad feeling that if we do not find out exactly what is happening here, we will regret it."

I just hope you know what you're doing, don't you dare get us killed. 

"I have no intention of dying here." 

Shiro then slightly narrowed his eyes and let out a long, quiet exhale, before replying... 

"Who am I, huh? Yeah, that's not a bad question...but unfortunately, the answer to that is...none of your business!" Exclaimed Shiro, as he suddenly extended out his claws and drove it towards my throat. 

Oh, no, this is b-!...huh? Right as his claws pierced my skin, my surroundings changed. Am I...outside the wall? 

"Yes, we are to the west of the Rustlands. You bought teleportation scrolls so that you would be able to teleport outside for Quests quickly, remember?" 

Oh, that's right, I got myself those teleport scrolls that can teleport to a fixed location from anywhere else so long as I was within range, I had three of those scrolls, each set just outside to the west, north and east of the Rustlands. The protective barrier prevents teleporting in from outside, but it doesn't prevent teleporting out from inside. But more importantly... 

"I think that was proof enough...my memories are correct, not yours. But it is not just you, it would appear that everyone has had their memories altered."

After we saw Shiro this morning, Atticus wanted to talk to some of the others who knew him, and all of them remembered him as Shiro...but just now, he seemed like a completely different person to the one in my memories...it was a strange and unsettling feeling, the thought that my memories had been altered without my knowledge was not a pleasant one. 

What do we do, Atticus? Should we try and convince everyone that-? 

"No, that would not work. Or rather, it is too risky. Shiro could simply argue that our memories are jumbled since we share a body and mind, you yourself considered that possibility when we first realized that our memories were not matching, after all. All of them have had their memories altered, which makes us, or rather, me, the odd one out. And what if he finds us before we can get to anyone else? I think the better option will be to find Kuro."

That's Shiro from your memories right, the one in black we saw today? 

"Yes. He is likely still in the vicinity of the Goblin cave, it will be difficult to find him, but we do not have a choice but to search. Let's go."

Okay, let's find him... 

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Point-of-View: Shiro Blanc

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Damn it, they got away! A teleport spell? Tch, I was too careless. This is bad, really bad...if they reveal that I'm an imposter and everyone turns on me, then my original will have the advantage! And I can't kill any of them because that might drive him to go into hiding and kill both of us...no, wait, I don't think he'll go that far so long as Persia is alive...well, I can't so much as touch her even if I wanted to, along with those other three, so it's a moot point. 

But what about someone else, someone whose death would upset him without completely breaking him? From what I've gathered from my original's past memories, I don't think he's all that close to Fuo, so killing her shouldn't be a problem...but getting her alone again will be difficult...I have no idea where she teleported off to anyway, and I don't have an ability that'd let me track a specific person. 

Okay, calm down, there's no need to panic...even if she does tell people that I'm an imposter, they're not going to believe her just like that. I could say that she was mistak-...or better yet, that she's just confused, I could say something like her brain was unable to handle two consciousnesses at the same time, that seemed plausible. I could also add something along the lines of 'if I really wanted her dead, she'd have died already' or something...yeah, that's pretty convincing coming from me. 

It's not like she'll have any solid arguments against me beyond that...hm, wait, there's the matter of my break up with Persia, that was definitely something unexpected as far as everyone's memories were concerned, maybe I shouldn't have been so hasty-...no, wait, there's a perfectly good explanation for that...I can just 'admit' that I'm keeping her at a distance because I don't want the 'imposter', aka my original, to target her. Yeah, that's perfect. 

Wait, Atticus said that he followed me today...he's pretty smart, so he's probably realized all this, in which case, his next move will most likely be...joining up with Kuro. That would be pretty bad from my perspective, though if that's really what they opted for, I could use it to my advantage...yeah, I could try and convince the others that Kuro brainwashed her by using the Eyes of Compulsion. 

Unfortunately, there was every chance that he was expecting me to think like this, which wasn't a very pleasant notion. Damn it, why do I have to work so hard, just to assure that my existence won't abruptly end in a few months? I was suddenly created with no warning or explanation, with the knowledge that I'm a copy of someone else and with an artificial soul that'd expire in less than half a year. 

If there's one thing I can agree with Kuro on, it's the fact that I despise not-God too...the punishment he was putting Kuro through, I would definitely call it a bit extreme, but I'm the real victim here...I've barely been in existence for a couple of days, I may have over twenty years worth of memories across two different worlds, but they aren't mine, they aren't my memories.

When he first created me, I was confused at first, and then, rage took over...but when he brought me before my original, I decided to act cocky and carefree. I did that for two reasons, the first was to plunge my original further into despair, and the second was to hide my own despair and internal turmoil. After all, I wasn't even given any time to process my own existence, nor the fact that I had to kill the most powerful mortal being in this world, just to secure my own life. 

Am I even real? Even if I do kill Kuro, what then? Will I then be real? I have no dreams or goals, I have no one that I care about, all I have is one thing...the desire to live. I don't want to die. Yeah, that's right...I don't care if I'm not real...and I don't care what I have to do...I just...I just don't want to die! Which means that I...I have no choice but to kill him. 

It really is nothing personal, it's not like I have a reason to hold a grudge against him, he was dragged into this against his will, just as I had no say in my own creation. But this isn't about that, I just need to do what I must in order to survive, nothing else matters. None of the people in this world mean a thing to me, and I have no qualms about killing any of them if necessary, if that's what it takes for me to survive. 

But I suppose I can't deny that a part of me enjoys the thrill...if I could kill Kuro after first plunging him into the depths of despair, that would be the ultimate satisfaction...and after that, with no one left strong enough to stand in my way, I'll do as I please...I'll kill if I want to, I'll steal if I want to, I'll destroy if I want, because no matter what I do, no one will be able to stop me...oh, I guess that's my dream, then. 

My purpose in life...is to live life as I please, with no second thoughts or hesitation. But first, I'll have to get rid of the only real obstacle in my path. I'll make sure I kill him, so that I'm no longer an artificial being...I'll be real once I kill him, and no one will be able to take that away from me, not even not-God. Yeah, I'll kill Kuro...and make this world my plaything. 

I was then suddenly snapped out of my thoughts as someone knocked on the door. Hm? Who could it be? It couldn't be Fuo, she wouldn't be stupid enough to come back here...unless she was here with reinforcements? No, that's unlikely, I don't sense any bloodlust at all...I then used Lightning Sensory Field...oh, it's just one person. I walked over and opened the door... 

"Hey, Shiro...can I come in?" 

What does she want? 

"Oh, hey, Persia. Uh, sure, come on in," I replied in a friendly tone.

She sure is attractive...but if I try anything, I'm dead...literally. That's the whole reason why I broke up with her in the first place, even though I knew it might be suspicious. 

"Sorry for coming over so late, especially since we're no longer-...w-well, anyway, I wanted to talk to you about today. That imposter of you that we ran into today, you said that he'll be desperately trying to kill you and consume your life force, right? You didn't seem to want to get us involved...so, um, I was just wondering if that's why you, um..."

Well, now, this is convenient... 

"I guess I couldn't hide it from you, huh? Yeah, I was trying to keep you away from me, and safe from him. Of course I wasn't seriously breaking up, I did say it was on a temporary basis didn't I, I always planned on going back to normal after this problem's taken care of...assuming you'd still have me, of course. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hesitant about it, but I figured it was better than letting you get dragged into this. This isn't like before with the Vampires or The Valaque Empire...this time I'm literally up against myself, or in fact, he might be even stronger...that trick he pulled with the Goblins has me concerned."

"Oh, thank goodness," She replied with a sigh of relief, a slight smile on her face. 

"What do you mean?" 

"Well, it's just...you've kinda been acting strange for the last day or two. And when you broke up with me, something felt off...it just didn't seem real, I don't know how to explain it, but it felt so off that I didn't even feel all that torn up about it. Now everything makes a lot more sense, you've been acting strangely because you've been worried about this imposter."

Huh, she's really been thinking hard, trying to make sense of all this...I can't afford to act too differently around her again, she'll get suspicious. I need to really put some effort into maintaining my cover as the 'original'. 

"Yeah, you got me. I really haven't been thinking straight. See, Lazarus can sense his presence and location...when he told me that he sensed him near the Goblin cave, I guess I sort of panicked. I brought you guys along so that you'd be able to see how dangerous he is, but I underestimated his desperation, and almost died as a result. Promise me that you'll stay out of this, Persia, I couldn't bear it if anything happened to you. I honestly doubt I can protect you from him, with abilities like Teleport and Beckon, he could easily take someone hostage if I fight him in a group. Earlier, I was lying when I agreed to let you guys help, because I didn't want to say the harsh truth...you'll only get in my way in a fight against him."

This was risky, her and Azyl in particular were highly useful assets, and if she did agree to sit this out, my chances of victory would decrease...but this is what Kuro would say to her in this situation, so I need to play the part...saying such cheesy crap was annoying though. And besides...I highly doubt she'd agree to stay out of it... 

"You have a point, but I choose to ignore it. You're not doing this alone."

Just as I expected, how reliable. I protested for a little bit to really sell it, before 'giving in' after I felt like I had done enough acting... 

"Fine, whatever, do what you want...don't blame me if something goes wrong," I remarked with a grumble. 

"Give me more credit, I'm pretty strong myself, you know."

"Yeah, yeah. Well, it's getting late, you should probably get home. I think we should stay like this until we get rid of the imposter...call me superstitious, but I feel like it'd be a bad omen if I changed anything right now. I know that isn't exactly logical, but this situation has me kinda frazzled. And besides, if he thinks we've had a falling out or something, it might decrease the chances of him targeting you...I'm probably grasping at straws, but right now, I'll take whatever I can get."

"If that's what you want...sure, I'll wait for you as long as it takes."

That's right, just you wait...wait for me to kill your boyfriend and take you for myself... 

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