Chapter 132: A good night’s rest (2)

"Firiell! Are you okay?" Jeanne gasped and immediately rushed to her side.

"Woah, woah, easy there. Lay back down, bud." I also trotted over and gently pushed her shoulders back down, so she was now laying down again.

"Mm-hmm," she rubbed her eyes and smiled, "I'm very good. It was faster than I expected. At least I didn't spend years in there…"

"Are you sure? Do you feel anything wrong anywhere?" Jeanne worriedly said while pressing her palm against the little girl's forehead, checking her temperature. She also took the time to carefully examine everything that she could possibly check.

While Jeanne was busy asking this and that, just like her usual caring self, I silently observed Firiell's expression and body language. Strange. She actually looked calm. Didn't expect her to be this… Composed, if I may, after seeing her abuser's past.

I presumed that if she was being shown Erenduill's past, then shouldn't she see her mom and dad? I mean… In this situation… I would probably be boiling with rage, hatred, and also sadness.

"Firiell, do you feel, um… Comfortable?" I asked, for a lack of a better word, "you know you can tell us if you, uh… Need some time alone. Or if you want some company."

I bashfully scratched my cheek as I saw her big, doe eyes staring back at me.

"Aww, thank you for your concern, big sis Chae. But I'm really fine!" She beamed at me. Ack, so bright! This little girl was just too positive and precious.

"You sure you're good? After seeing your deceased families?" I asked straight to the point.

"Actually, I also thought it would be very hard for me," she started explaining, with a slight smile, "but it turns out that… It only gave me closure."

Upon hearing that, my lips curled upwards, glad that she really was a-okay, "thank goodness." I actually really wanted to ask, but I figured it wasn't too appropriate… Right? … Eh, might as well, "what exactly did you see, though? I'll be frank with you, I'm very curious. It's okay if you don't want to tell me, since I'm just purely curious."

There, I said it. No pressure, though.

"Ahahahah!" Laughter came out of Firiell's mouth, as she held her stomach while laughing loudly.

"Did… Did I say something wrong?" I scratched my cheek sheepishly.

"No, you're perfectly fine~" She giggled, "it's just… It's such a contrast from what I just saw. It's very refreshing." She explained while grinning wide.

"Ehh? What exactly did you see? A contrast from me?" I asked while pointing at myself.

"Yes… In the memories I saw, everyone was just so… Uptight," she explained while slowly stopping her laughter, "it's almost suffocating how the royals acted. How my family acted."

Hmm, well, that sounded exactly like what I saw in Erenduill's memories, as well. I still remembered the awkward family dinner and the fight that ensued. And of course, that godly chocolate pudding that Firiell's mom made. Wait, what if Firiell knew the recipe, though? I should ask her when the time was right.

"I understand what you mean. I've experienced that too, but through your other uncle's memories." I nodded and sat beside her.

"Now I know why mom never really liked living with them. If only she was alive right now, then—no, never mind. I can't say that. I can only be here because things happened the way they did." She sighed, but she was still smiling even while saying those hurtful words.

"True. There are a lot of things that I wish I did differently, and even more what-ifs concerning dead people… Well, my life is basically filled with dead people, so of course there are times I wished that they were alive. But, the dead stays dead. The living continues on living. Mourning for them is completely fine, but there's no point in wondering how good it would be if they were alive." I agreed as I stroked her hair. Whoa, that was a long explanation from me.

"Mm-hmm, although I miss my mom, at least I know that she's in a better place now! And I gotta work hard to have a better life over here, as well! Until one day, we meet again in the afterlife." She spoke with such confidence while nodding, with her smile reaching her eyes.

How could she think like that, despite being this young? When I was her age, I was fuming with anger and hatred, man. Or was it probably the period where I lost my sense and was an indifferent, killing machine? Didn't really remember. I only remembered that Eli got me out of that ditch, though.

"Don't worry, Firiell. We'll try our best to give you a better life here," Jeanne spoke as she tucked Firiell in, "you're already on the right mindset, so it shouldn't be too hard for you to adjust. If only I was half as bright as you are…"

I held my breath the moment I heard what Jeanne had just said. I immediately remembered the things general Zhang told me, about the missing piece regarding the 'massacre' on that day, and the missing sixth general.

He said it was not his story to tell, but Jeanne's. How could I not think that Jeanne was the one who had to endure the biggest loss after hearing that? My guess was that the sixth general was someone close to her, or perhaps they killed someone close to her. Maybe a family member? Now that I thought about it, I didn't really know about anyone's family except for Dmitri's and Wolf's…

"Jeanne, you might not realize it, but you're hella bright for me," I grinned at her, "you've been brightening up my days since I got here, you know? Now you just need to channel that energy on yourself, and less to others." I said while pointing at her.

"I… I did?" She blinked a few times, as if confused by my words.

"Yes. But you have to remember to always be your own light first. Because you can't expect people to be yours," I continued, "save yourself first, before you start saving others."

… Well, my words just now were actually copy-pasted from what Eli once said to me. But if it worked, it worked.

"Chae… That's… Really kind of you," she looked at me with a mix of shock and happiness on her face, "I… I don't know how to respond, since I've never been told that before." She fidgeted nervously with the blanket on the bed.

"Huh? For real? As far as I know, a lot of soldiers think the same," I scratched my head in confusion, "probably they're too shy to say it."

"Shy? Do I come across as unapproachable?" Jeanne put her hand on her chin, seemingly thinking about something.

"Hmm? Big sis Jeanne seems very approachable to me." Firiell answered, also looking confused.

"Eh, I don't think the problem is with you. People just naturally separate themselves when they know someone's different," I shrugged, "no matter if you're perceived as better or worse than them, difference separates people. At least, in most cases."

"… That is true." Firiell nodded, but now her smile was gone. Of course she would understand this the most. She was basically being outcasted by both elves and humans alike, even though she was a part of both.

"Well, in any case, it's not your fault if they're too insecure to be friends with you instead of just maintaining a senior-junior relationship," I grinned at Jeanne, trying to lift her mood up, "for me, though, I'm just shameless. I can be equally obnoxious to both generals and soldiers alike. Even to that salty, alcoholic geezer."

"Pfft—Ahahaa!"

I let out a relieved sigh and a slight smile as I watched her laugh. Finally. She was already tense the whole day, and her mood had just gone even worse just now. It was time for her to catch a break.

"But I like your shamelessness, big sis Chae~ It's way better than what uncle Erenduill had to endure." Firiell chuckled.

"I know, I like my shamelessness, too," I stated proudly, "was it so bad, the things you were shown?"

"Pretty bad. If I was in his position, I don't think I can endure it," she sighed, "thank goodness I grew up fine."

… You weren't fully grown up yet, though?

"You know, it turned out that the previous King expected a lot from him. And by a lot, I mean A LOT," she described using hand gestures, "imagine being told every day, every second, how you should use fork and spoon, how you should walk, how you should talk."

"… Sounds like hell."

"True! Can you imagine, I activated the crest thinking I would be shown this epic drama or tear-jerking passionate story, but then I had to sit through HOURS and even DAYS of bland studying, taking notes, practicing the same sword moves every day for hundreds of times!" She explained passionately.

"There were times when fights ensued, and there were a lot of things that surprised me, like when I found out how nasty the previous King was. Oh, I'm going to have to tell you about this." She continued without a pause.

"Yaz, spill the tea, sis." I nodded, fully invested in her story.

"Tea? You want tea?" Jeanne tilted her head in confusion.

"Don't mind me. Continue the story~" I giggled. This kinda felt like a group bonding session. Was it bad that I kinda enjoyed it?

"Well, before we get to that, I just wanna say that after I had to spend days living as uncle Erenduill, it made me realize something…"

"And that is…?" I inquired, waiting for her to continue.

"… That there wasn't a specific trigger that made him insane. It was the repeated, torturous chores that he had to go through day by day, without any end in sight that made him lose his mind."