Adrian can't blame Cassidy for thinking the way she does.
Five years of neglect and mistreatment would definitely crush her entire being to the point that it could no longer go back to the way it was before. He could only wonder how she managed to cope up with everything. For letting her be, he hates himself. He finds himself more than undeserving - he is unlovable.
Even then, Adrian decided to condemn himself in silence and focus on making things right instead. He already wasted a lot of time, and if he became too absorbed in his self-loathing and hatred, he might end up losing more. That's why he tried and tried to make it alright even when he felt that it could never be right again just like what Cassidy said.
"I-Is it too late now, Cassidy...?" he managed to say despite how weak he was starting to become.
"But even if it is, I'm still going to try. I'll try harder to-"
"You don't have to anymore. Everything has long been overdue..." she cut him off firmly, already steeling her resolve.
"Have you ever wondered why I was in the airport that time? Before the plane crashed and caused my amnesia...? I remember now. It was because I had been planning to flee. I had wanted to escape this place. Even before, I already made up my mind - I would leave."
Right then, he feels his entire world shatter.
The devastation was absolute - it showed when he paled so much that he appeared like he died within. Excruciating pain tyrannizes him, making it hard for him to breathe. All words began to fall from his throat, and all thoughts he had became a huge mess. What is left is him in his broken state.
The emotions come in turbulent waves - grueling, horrifying and debilitating. It is a million shards in his guts. In the quietest moment, it really feels like death as it strangles him to his last breath and short circuits his mind. What was once barely whole had been broken to smithereens - where once was full had become void and empty, echoing the love he had put his everything into.
"No... I can't... I can't just let you go..."
Pleading, Adrian leaned down in front of her and looked at her straight in the eye. Cassidy blushed at their sudden closeness, but before she had a chance to push him away, he grabbed her hands and pulled her into an embrace. He gently pushed her face towards his c.h.e.s.t and kept her there as he continued to speak.
"I'd never been a good husband to you. I know that. I deserve to be hated, and I deserve to pay a hundredfold for all the horrible things I did, but please..." he begged as he squeezed her tighter.
"Give me another chance to do things the right way this time."
"I don't really hate you..." Cassidy trailed off and stayed still.
"If I ever said that I hated you, I didn't mean it. Whether it was for what you did or not, you helped me get through so many things. You helped me a lot, and I will never be able to forget that."
"Without you, my life will never be complete. I can't see myself anywhere without you. You're always in here..." Adrian muttered breathlessly, pulling away for a bit and guiding Cassidy to put her hand on his c.h.e.s.t - a gesture that made her eyes widen in surprise.
"I can never rip you out of here no matter how hard I try to."
There is no doubt to him that he is a completely different person when he is with her. Nothing matters to him except her. She is everything to him, but she still can't see that. Regardless of how many times he said his feelings to her, he felt like he was making little to no progress.
Even so, whether it takes him forever or a million years, Adrian will get Cassidy to accept him - he is willing to wait that long for her forgiveness.
That is how much he loves her. He had never felt something as strong as his feelings for her. If she left his side, he would be left empty and lifeless.
Cassidy was the one who had showed Adrian that his life was more than being a Millicent.
No one ever saw his true value like she did. When he would excel in something, it was merely an expectation met - not an achievement worth celebrating. He had many admirers, but those women only liked him because of his looks and wealth. None of them ever dared to even glance at his personality. The rest either envied him or hated him.
After many years of wondering what was the real meaning of his life, he finally understood. He understood his purpose, and it all came down to her.
He was born to meet her and to fall in love with her. He was born to live a happy life with her and to always protect her. His family may have been the reason why he made it this far, but it was her who gave him the reason to live.
He silently laid there and slowly embraced her by the waist. Everything he thought about was only some of the reasons why he didn't want her to leave. He needs her because she is essential to his survival.
"Cassidy..." Adrian whispered against her l.a.p, closing his eyes and getting a whiff of her sweet aroma.
"Please, let me try again."
There was silence for the minutes to come.
The only thing he hoped Cassidy wouldn't do was reject him. He could probably take any answer except a no - he couldn't imagine what he would do if she said that she never wanted to see him again.
Remaining quiet, Cassidy puts her hand on top of his head. Adrian can feel her slowly stroking his hair with her fingers. He then embraces her tighter as he continues laying on top of her t.h.i.g.hs.
As long as she is there with him, he will never need anything else - he will always be complete.
But then, the same may not go for her, after all.
"I'm sorry, Adrian."
"I just can't do this anymore," Cassidy then said for the last time, killing Adrian at that very moment.