Chapter 261: A Rare Side

At some point in the celebration, Asher finds himself all on his own at the balcony – with only the moon up in the night sky, the cool evening air, and the reigning silence keeping him company. 

He leans against the balustrades, immersed in his thoughts. To his relief and delight, the party has flown seamlessly and smoothly. Seeing Cassidy's old family again has been quite an exhilarating experience. It's indeed typical of Adrian to pull off something as difficult as that in only a short period of time.   

Still, Asher feels a bit too at ease.

They may have had forgiven him for partially siding with Dylan, but then again, they are Cassidy and Adrian – they are too kind for their own good. They let Irish and Olivia take a shot in redeeming themselves despite all that they did, and while the same did not go for Grisham and Gertrude this time, they are still willing to give second chances regardless of what they've been put through.       

Forgiveness is the key to Cassidy and Adrian's happiness, Asher supposes.

Even then, that did not erase the guilt. He still can't help but blame himself until now. At first, he thought that he did all of that for Cassidy's sake, but as it turned out, he realized that he only did it for himself – he wanted to follow what he thought would be good for her. He could've worked together with Adrian like before, but he was too much of a coward to even consider the possibility that he had a plan in that situation. 

"So, you're here after all."

Asher snaps out of his thoughts then, taken aback.

Hearing someone come up from behind him, he turns around in surprise. That's when he meets an unfamiliar enigmatic gaze on an all-too-familiar face.

"Oh, it's just you…" he sighed upon seeing Irish join him in the balcony.

"Look, I'm not in the mood to bicker with you right now or anything. So, if you're here to poke fun on me or mess around again-"

"So, you're still dwelling on how you became such a traitorous snitch, huh? How unexpected. And here I thought you'd moved on already."

He narrows his eyes and shoots a peeved glare at her, not amused with how she flat out said that with a straight face. Yet, for some reason, she appears to be acting a bit different from the usual meanie she's always been. There is no hint of mockery nor sarcasm on her expression – it remains enigmatic. 

"What? Do you expect me to just get over the fact that I attempted to kill Shade and let Dylan order me around? If I saw through that, I would've ruined his plans and endangered Cassidy's life. I would've been thrown in jail," Asher muttered through gritted teeth.

"But you did not see through that. It's not that you really wanted to do it, to begin with. You were forced to obey because one of their lives was at stake, and those two understood that," Irish pointed out.

"I still tried to do something unforgivable, though. That fact didn't change. They're just too forgiving-"

"No, they're not. They don't forgive nor forget easily. I'd know 'cause I used to be on the receiving end of their hatred."

He stills at that, not expecting that she'll suddenly open up. It's already rare that they're talking with each other without feeling the usual urge for insults and banters, and it's even rarer when one of them expresses themselves in such a sentimental, genuine way. She regards him in silence for a moment – perhaps, having those same thoughts. With a sigh, she then continues to confess what she's always thought she can never say to others.

"Listen, earning Cassidy and Adrian's forgiveness was the hardest thing I ever did in my life – or at least, that's what I thought at first. Then again, to redeem oneself means to change oneself. I had a feeling that I wouldn't be able to do it. I supposed that it'd just be a waste of time since they'd probably just still hold onto their grudge regardless of how much I changed…" she went on to say without looking at him, focusing on the view ahead of them instead.

"And that's because changing won't erase the misdoings and transgressions that I did. They all still happened, and they would never be forgotten."

She casts down her gaze then, letting it linger on the ground for a moment before shifting it back in his direction. He stares back at her, a bit astonished to find a soft, gentle smile on her face.

Asher doesn't know what to say. Somehow, they're the same. Irish has thought and felt the way he does now. 

It confounds him, though. She just said something he never would've imagined her saying. After all, her pride has always been too big – too much for him to stand. Yet, as much as he doesn't want to admit it, the way she's smiling at him right now seems to tell of an unknown story of kindness and sincerity. 

Asher finds it hard to believe that Irish can show such a genuine side - and to him of all people. 

"So, yeah, there's that…" she said a bit awkwardly, baffled as to why he was still not saying anything.

"It is hard to change. Really. But then, that only shows that I'm serious about it, right? I regret everything I did. So much so that I felt like I could never make it all right again. I felt that I'm the worst person to ever live, and I had many others saying the same thing to me. Nonetheless, I made it through somehow, and it's all because Cassidy and Adrian gave me another chance. I owe those two a lot."

"And you're saying all of this to me because…?" he inquired hesitantly, also baffled as to why she would tell him that much.

"I thought you despise me."

"Despise is a big word, you know. Between you and me, you're more suited to use that term. You've always hated me, don't you? You're just making it look like we can't stand each other's ego." 

With those as her last words, she turns back around and walks away, having already said enough. She can't afford to say any more as she knows that she'll only regret it later. He must've already gotten her point, anyway. That's what matters. 

For what seems like a long time, Asher merely stands there and watches Irish leave, feeling as if he's starting to see her in a different light.