Chapter 234: A Boy in a Man

Adrian nods, and Asher is a bit surprised to see he isn't acting like a wimp.

He'd used the most intimidating glare in his arsenal – it's been known to make even greater men tremble. Heck, he even had times when he saw him in his most vulnerable, most delicate forms. But this weakling in a hospital bed - he just nods.

Like he had expected it. Like he's promising what he's saying.

Asher leans back.

This is Cassidy's coward of a husband. He should be bawling his eyes out at the notion that she's been captured. But instead of that, he's trying to sit up straight, his hand lifting up to his chin in contemplation, and he looks like he's planning something.

Adrian hadn't even flinched in the face of Asher's deadly glower.

He frowns, observing him, trying to understand what's going on in his mind. But he's no good at that.

"I'm... sorry..." Adrian trailed off, and it took a while for him to register that he was talking to him.

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah. You'd better be..." Asher muttered bitterly, though he hated himself for acting all self-righteous.

"You were supposed to protect her. It's the only reason I ever let her go running around with you. You promised you'd do better this time."

There.

Adrian seems to be affected by his words now. His lip quavers, but his eyes stay steely. Then, he continues, "How pathetic of me."

Asher is slightly taken aback. 

Adrian doesn't cower. There is no outward sign of desperation. He had attacked, and he had countered in his own unpredictable way.

'Goddammit. Why does Cassie have to have such good taste in everything?'

Asher shifts in his seat, eyeing Adrian warily. But he says nothing further. His expression is shuttered again. And he allows his words to hang in the space between them.

He takes a moment to mull over Adrian's reply, to try and think for once, because there's something about his words that resonates deeply within his heart.

'How pathetic of me.'

It echoes in his mind - the syllables a cacophony of indiscernible thoughts. And then, it finally clicks.

'How pathetic of me to put her in danger. How pathetic of me to risk her life.'

Understanding dawns on Asher at last.

He realizes that these words – the depth behind the sentiment, the meaning behind the notion – these words are probably what he also would've thought to himself if he were in Adrian's place. If he'd lost Cassidy and if he couldn't have done anything to save her, then indeed, 'How pathetic of me.'

It is then that Asher finally sees Adrian for what he really is - a boy in a man's body with a burden on his shoulders that anyone of any age shouldn't have. He's weak, he's fallible, and he's sitting right in front of him, trying to think of a way to get Cassidy back instead of laying around and feeling sorry for himself.

Asher may still not like the fact that he's the one Cassidy chose. He might enjoy antagonizing him more than he probably should. But there is one underlying fact that he has never been able to ignore no matter how much he's tried to fool himself.

Adrian is hopelessly in love with Cassidy - and that alone has always been enough.

"Don't beat yourself up about it..." Asher told him in a somewhat fatherly tone.

"I know I'm doing enough of that for the both of us."

Adrian looks up at him then. There are tears in his eyes that he's fighting so hard to hold back.

"I... promise..." he swore. 

"I'll bring her back. I promise."

Asher can be snarky about it. He can say something harsh and crush what semblance of a relation he has with him. But he doesn't.

"Right. Don't push yourself. I have soup in my backpack if the hospital food is getting to you," he said, changing the subject.

"That's... thoughtful of you."

Adrian's tone seems melancholic, and there, Asher finds that his eyes are glazed over. It appears like he's still beating himself up about it instead of getting the rest he needs. 

"I would've made a list of poetry to read to you. Cassie told me before that you're fond of literature. What a geek..." Asher continued in an attempt to bring Adrian out of his thoughts.

"But I have no idea what poems you like."

Adrian studies him for a moment. A wry grin then pulls on his lips – like he knows something. Whatever it is, it appears to be amusing him. 

"Do you know Walter Raleigh's Reply to Christopher Marlowe?"

"I think I do. Cassie told me about it before. She said something about being on the Shepherd's side."

Adrian manages a weak chuckle at that. Asher can hear the muted anguish in his voice. He probably shouldn't bring Cassidy up too much. 

"Yeah. I recall. She said she would have said yes without a doubt," Adrian reminisced.

"Well, that just goes to show that the problem in the poems isn't the Shepherd. It's the Nymph..." Asher commented, going along with his tangent if only to delay the inevitable.

"The Nymph let reality keep her from accepting the love she could've had."

"I never took you for a romantic, Asher."

"I'm just saying. Besides, shouldn't you be resting right now?"

"I've spent too much time bed-ridden this week. I'd rather not."

"Do you really plan to find Cassie at that state?"

"Of course."

Adrian's narrowed gaze is intense, his electric blue eyes piercing. With a strong conviction, he goes on to say, "I won't let her die. Better me in her place."

Asher frowns at his words.

No one had mentioned the possibility of Cassidy dying at the hands of her captors even though the probability of it happening is high. They'd all silently chosen to hold high hopes for her safe return. She was kidnapped, but they will find her.

'But for Shade to assume that her captors would kill her... What the hell is he thinking?'

Her captors want Asher to kill him, too. He feels mild anger bubbling up in his system. This is why neither of them should've gotten involved too much.

Looking at Adrian's pensive expression, however, he gets the inkling feeling that he and Cassidy would've gotten involved anyway – whether by choice or not.

"There's something on your mind," Adrian chimed in again, breaking the direction of his thoughts.

"I'm just thinking how you're both such idiots," Asher snarled, looking up at him with a weighted desperation threatening to show through his eyes. 

Adrian nods. That's his only reaction. No chuckle. No smile. Just a nod.

"That's not all you're thinking," he then added.

Asher opens his mouth to retort, but something in Adrian's expression keeps him from saying anything. Then, he realizes - he knows.

He fucking knows. 

"You're here to kill me, Asher."