1.8 Goodnight Saibon

My disappointment had mostly abated by morning. By that time the elf's heavy snoring had also been reduced to a normal peaceful sleep. She was still in the most awkward position on the stone floor with one arm leaning against the wall and the other stretched across the floor as if reaching for the canteen with alcohol. I couldn't blame her. Her hair was an absolute mess. I wondered how she was going to fix that. She did promise me a comb earlier, did she have one with her? I had considered to check but then I remembered her cold attitude from yesterday at some point and decided against it. Besides, rummaging through another person's belongings was plain rude. So, I let it slide and waited patiently until she woke up.  

I had already added some wood to the fire and hoped the elf would wake up soon. I was getting impatient and it was already light outside. Dawn had come about an hour ago, I knew the days had long sunlight but we had a fair bit of travelling ahead as far as I could tell. The sooner we got to the village the better, I had no idea what other creatures called this forest their home.  

Right as I was thinking that I saw a long pink something flicker in my peripheral vision coming from the right side of the entrance. I quickly peeked over and saw the white snout of a snake peeking back at me. It was far larger than the snout of any snake that I (and most likely my grandma) knew about, its head was as large as mine and it started to move more than just its head around the corner. A huge white albino snake was moving its way towards me and I stepped back out of fear.  

''Velariah!'' I shouted.  

When that didn't wake her up as fast as I wanted her to, I took hold of her armor with the front four of my legs and shook her until she stood up in full alert. She looked at me in shock and I pointed at the snake, unable to put my fear into words as I saw the monstrosity draw ever closer.  

I grabbed my spear and prepared for the worst. This thing could probably eat the both of us and still have space left over for dessert. When Velariah didn't draw her weapon, my jaw dropped. Was there no way for us to win this and did she simply accept the fact that she would be eaten? What the crap elf? at least fight! I would not be going down without one. 

"Chill out, it's just an iobgnol.'' 

As if I had any idea what that meant. And why would I have to chill? That thing was going to eat me! 

''They are extremely docile and never attack any humanoid creature. Not even in self-defense.'' 

That was at least some relief, but still, what was it doing here invading my home like this?  

''It is said that when they approach humanoids one can gain a blessing by offering them food'' She continued calmly. Letting the snake get closer, she stretched out her arm and let the creature lick it. What an odd display.  

Not wanting to be turned into the first ever victim of a so called ''iobgnol'' I quickly grabbed the knife and dug inside what remained of the unibelae. I searched around in the inner organs and decided to cut out the heart. If anything, that would make for a great offering, right? I hoped that would satisfy the overly large serpent, even though the heart was about as big as its head.  

This blessing better include that creature not eating me.  

With one otherworldly deer heart in hand, I turned to see Velariah petting the snake and running her hand across its white glimmering scales. The creature seemed content with the affection it was getting until it saw me holding out the moist heart next to its face. It opened its jaws wider than the normal person would think a snake can open its mouth. Fortunately, I was completely unfazed by the scenario playing in front of me. Thanks grandma.  

It took in the heart and I retracted my hand. The iobgnol waited until my hand was out of the way before it closed its jaws and gulped it down. After it had consumed the heart, it moved its head to my hand to give it a quick flick of its forked tongue before it turned around and slithered out the same way it had come in, its huge body following behind.  

I couldn't believe what I was seeing, the snake was leaving but its body behind its head was still entering my cave while its head had already gone the opposite way! how big was this thing really? This creature would legit be considered a dungeon boss by any game terms!  

Seeing the danger dissipate my heart slowed down to its normal rhythm. I bet I was being laughed at from heaven by a certain family member who would have loved to meet this creature. That's when I realized that I had no idea if she was actually still alive. Stupid migration sickness. Let's call it that.  

''You really aren't from this world, are you?'' the elf asked while I was still looking at coils entering and leaving the cave right after, there seemed to be no end to this snake. 

''You finally believe me now?'' I couldn't believe this girl. Had it not been obvious before when I explained about things in my world she could never even dream of? Seriously, she was dense as a rock. 

''I think I do, I'm sorry about yesterday. I should have believed you, I just didn't know if it was my mind playing tricks on me from exhaustion.''  

Ok, fair point, but still.  

With the peril of the monster gone I sat down next to the fire trying to warm my body that had been chilled by fear earlier. The flames hypnotized me as I finally regained my composure and wits. Velariah seemed amused by my antics as she had a smile on her face while looking at the snake depart. I wondered if anything about the blessing part was true, I could use some blessings in this world for sure.  

The elf then eyed the double wolf saddlebag/piñata and walked over to it with a frown. She kneeled down to one of the wolves and poked the silk with a finger before looking back at me. What was she doing? 

''This your work?'' she asked. 

I nodded. 

''I figured it would make transporting easier.'' 

She continued to poke the silk, stroke it and took some between her fingers going all over the texture. Seeing her work her hands over something that came from my body really made me feel uncomfortable. Was she doing this on purpose? 

''This stuff is amazing, it's extremely sturdy, yet light.'' she was doing this on purpose. 

She turned around with a wicked smile on her face. This could not be good. 

''How did it feel?''  

'WHAT THE HELL?' I screamed in my mind. She was definitely doing this on purpose. What was wrong with her? I could feel my face flush red from the question. I would scrap the idea of wrapping up whatever was left of the unibelea and just have her carry it. It was her problem now, she bought it after all, I'd done enough.  

She grinned wickedly. This woman was evil, I was sure of it.  

I just stood there with my mouth full of teeth before she continued. 

''I was just kidding, nice thinking, it will surely make things... less messy. You planned on doing the same for the unibelea?'' she looked at me with hopeful eyes and a serious expression.  

Evil, but look at those puppy eyes. 

''I mean, I was going to, I figured transporting a half-eaten corpse would be extremely messy, but now I'm not so sure.'' 

''No, no, that sounds like a great idea actually. Besides...'' She touched the silk covering the wolf's wound again, making me cringe.  

''This stuff looks like it could have some serious value in our village, I already have a few ideas in mind, it would be worth exploring the options.'' 

Hey, what the hell are you talking about. I am the one producing that stuff. Do I get to have any say in what you plan to do with MY silk?  

''That is, if you are okay with it, of course.'' she said after she noticed the look in my eyes.  

Ah, so I did get a say in this, that was good to know.  

''Uh, let's talk about that some other time, you can experiment with the thread around the wolves all you want. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll turn this deer creature into a nice handbag.'' 

As I was dragging the creature over the stone floor of the small cave, leaving a small trail of blood behind, I was thinking about what Velariah had said. Back on earth I remembered there was this meme on the internet where people would go to the toilet at work because technically, they would be paid to poop. I imagined for many people getting paid to do just that would be a dream.  

Yet here I was in a situation where I could possibly make a living by pushing stuff out of my butt and it left me conflicted. How did I get myself into this situation again? Wait, that's right I didn't bring this on myself. What did I do to deserve this? Whatever it was, it was probably bad, and whatever god put me in this position must not have liked it and was probably laughing their ass off right now. 

The unibelea had been laid down on the grass and I was frantically trying to reach the other end of my body with my arms while standing. While I could turn my behind left or right slightly it did not turn out to be enough to be able to reach the spinnerets. I really was not going to do this the same way I did before, not with Velariah who was eying me from beside the campfire with a little too much interest.  

Thinking about a way to get this done without completely making a fool of myself I found a solution in a tree with a strong looking, low hanging branch. I dragged the corpse through the now dried grass and put it down next to the tree. Then, I put my spinnerets against the tree and walked a few meters creating a thick thread. As I pulled the thread from the trunk, I saw the elf walking over to me, her armor clinking with each step she took. Her curiosity was really unnerving.  

I saw my plan had worked, at least so far, the first part of the thread had sticked to the tree just nicely while the rest was dry and non-sticky. For the next part I planted my front legs into the tree and tossed the thread over the branch and grabbing it. I basically had turned the branch into a pulley which enabled me to pull thread of my abdomen without having to get in the most embarrassing position I have ever assumed.  

On to the next part of the plan. I had been clean with where I cut the unibelea's pelt, only making a large incision running along its belly starting from its throat. I was thankful for my anticipation of having to use or trade the pelt, it made my job a lot easier now. The thread of silk was attached to slightly before the incision began and I started my work. Velariah just stood there, staring at what I was up to. This beast was a fair bit larger than the wolves and perhaps a bit too much to handle on my own. Instead of watching, having her help would actually made this ten times easier.  

''Velariah, a little help here, please?''  

''What do you want me to do?'' She asked. A puzzling look was in her eye as if she had no idea what I was trying to do.  

''Just grab the antlers and pretend this thing is a rotisserie chicken.''  

She still didn't seem to know what I mean but when I grabbed the animal's behind, lifted it and started turning it around it seemed she got the idea. I was getting the hang of this spider thread business. Speaking about hanging, my behind was actually slightly elevated as the thread was pulled out and Velariah was enjoying the sight of it, judging from her far too broad smile when looking that direction.  

''Hey you pervert, stop staring at my ass and move your hands unless you want those wrapped up too.'' I said half-jokingly, half-serious.  

She quickly moved her hands back from the last part of the incision as I finished wrapping up my ''prey''. My god, these weird terms kept getting into my brain. I had to admit it was kind of funny but so, so disturbing.  

I stopped producing silk and the thread snapped. It almost slapped her in the face. That was unlucky I guess, I would have liked to see her punished for her incessant staring. If she was so fascinated by my biology how about she tries living like this herself, huh?  

'Hey weirdo gods, if you're listening, please make this weird elf live like me for a day, thank you very much.' 

''Alright, that about does it.'' I stated when we finished our work.  

I stretched my arms, well the three that I could. My one shattered arm was still hanging limply by my side, unable to be controlled. The pain had somewhat returned, but it was more of a whining pain than sharp pain. It was nowhere as bad as before; this I could live with, at least for a while. It was then, when she was standing right next to me that I noticed our height difference.  

She was a slender woman and certainly tall for Earth's standards but I easily stood a head taller than her thanks to my legs adding to my height. I guessed I could lower my human torso further but that would make walking extremely uncomfortable as it really strained my legs. I could do it, but not sustain it for long. And then I would look like an idiot. Is that how guys felt when sucking in their bellies when attractive women passed by? 

I asked Velariah about her village while dragging and dropping the deer next to the wolves. It was called Dawnleaf and bordered on this forest. Apparently, the village was on the border of the elven kingdom but an important hub for travelers and adventurers crossing the borders and going into this forest. If that was true, I had been lucky to run into her first before running into well geared adventurers who would have seen me as some kind of boss monster.  

Their income consisted mostly of farming and lumber as she mentioned before but the travelers and adventurers also brought in a fair amount of coin, especially when they had completed a well-paid mission and were looking to waste it on liquor. It turned out that elven beer in this word was top notch, rivalling that of dwarves.  

Good to know that dwarves were a thing in this world. Seemed this world held up at least a couple stereotypical fantasy world tropes, even when most of them turned out to be false. It was enough to not drive me insane, at least. Or maybe I already was, I just didn't know it yet.  

She seemed hesitant to really tell me much more about herself other than the fact that she was a knight-in-training but would be adventuring herself soon. She had used the knight training to get comfortable with a sword and armor while exploring the neighboring forest to gather ingredients to help out to pay for additional equipment that were not provided by the elven military. She was looking ahead, I admired that. At least she wouldn't be one of those level one adventurers in anime that just rushed in blindly, not knowing how to handle a sword properly and then dying to the first actual danger.  

Well, adventuring was a thing at least. I imagined something like guilds would probably be a thing as well, not that I would get into one, anyway. Maybe they would have one of those classic adventuring boards or whatever they were called where quests would be posted. Maybe there were adventurer ranks as well? I remembered something regarding the soldier I was forced to kill earlier and I walked over to the grave I made just to be sure. I took the tag in my hand and beckoned the elf over.  

''Can you read what this says?'' I asked. In reality I was more interested in knowing if there was some kind of classification of strength in this world but it felt rude to ask straight out, especially over a corpse.  

She kneeled down to inspect the tag I held in my palm. 

''I have no idea, I do not speak the human language. All I can read about this tag is that whoever this was, he was a mid-rank iron  Archer.''  

Okay, the archer part was clear to me from the silver bow icon but what was the rest she said? mid-rank Iron, what did that mean? 

''Mid-rank Iron?" I inquired.  

''Oh, I forgot you're not from around here.'' she had a sly smile. I swear this woman could have been a next level internet troll back on Earth. Maybe I should not tell her about the concept of being able to speak to everyone in the world, no matter where they were, yet. 

''Mid-rank Iron means that this guy was in the mid-tier of the Iron Rank branch. Each branch is divided into three tiers, low, mid, high. One progresses to the next branch after proving their worth in combat on missions and quests. Clearing out dungeons also gets you a fair deal of progress towards the next tier. After advancing to the high tier one can take on quests that are classified as the next higher branch and successfully completing that will place you in the low tier of that branch.'' 

The flood of information continued as my poor brain was still trying to process all that. 

''The branches from low to high are Copper, Iron, Silver, Gold, Ruby, Diamond and Black, also known as Abyss but that rank is unattainable for most people, only three people alive today as classified as Black, and they are all in the low tier. The last mid-tier Black warrior died just three years ago and the world hasn't seen a high-ranked Black adventurer in at least two decades.'' It appeared she had finished. 

I was still processing all of that. That sounded like the kind of world I was used to from fiction and fantasy alright. Adventurers and ranks. Also, the dungeon part had been interesting. The call of adventure tugged at me even though I knew it would be dangerous. It seemed completely irrational to put your life on the line yet I always enjoyed the things regarding adventure in games.  

On multiple occasions had I thought it would be interesting to live in a world like that. Never had I imagined the day would actually come where I could do whatever I did in games before. The idea of exploring dungeons and searching treasure was slowly getting to me and I hated it. I hated doing illogical things. After all, it would seem I was in a position where I could live a fulfilling life selling venom and silk, two things for which I would hardly have to put in any kind of effort. Ugh, the conflicting emotions were killing me. 

I was a stranger in this world. I knew for any proper transmigrated protagonist that would mean that they were going to aim to be the best and all that kind of bullshit and reach that shiny Gold Black rank eventually but that was something I could scrap from my list pretty quickly. Since I had no cheat skill to speak off, plus being a monster meant that was probably way out of reach for me, besides I would probably need years if not decades of training with weapons to even get to diamond or something.  

My priority right now seemed to steer towards making acquaintances with the elves, trade with them and get on their friendly side. I would love to have my arm fixed and if I could get some friends, or at least get friendly with people, I hoped I would be able to get asylum so I would not have to sleep in a cold cave when winter arrived. Small steps at a time were going to be the best course of action for now.  

I released the tag and stood back at my full height. I asked what Velariah's rank was.  

''I don't have a rank yet, remember? I am not officially an adventurer, yet.'' 

''So, then this guy was an adventurer and not a soldier or what?" I was confused, or maybe my view of him was plain wrong. I had been convinced earlier he was a soldier but the lines seemed a bit vague.  

''Dunno, could have been both, he did at least complete an adventurer's entry trial to get that tag.'' 

I looked at her wondering what an entry trial consisted of. Did they have one of those fancy balls that you placed your hand on and then measure your power or something similar? Would this be where it was revealed I had insane amounts of power and shattered the ball? I humored the thought, that troll had been tough earlier. There would be no shattering magic crystal balls anytime soon.  

''The trial is nothing dangerous, really. You will spend a day sparring with established adventurers and your initial rank will be based on your performance.'' 

Ok so no crystal ball. It seems I would have to win some fights against silver ranked adventurers to get placed in that branch. I would at least be able to do that right? Please don't tell me I would be one of those copper side characters. This human had been iron and all in all, I beat him quite easily. Though, I guessed using my venom would go beyond the ''sparring'' concept. And I had almost no experience with weapons besides a little bit of experience with this low-quality spear. Jeez, this trial was clearly not designed for the likes of me, how unfair.  

''Well then, seems nothing for me. What about that guy over there?'' I pointed over my shoulder to the troll corpse a few meters away. 

''Since I doubt the trial would be any good for me, can't I just take that guy as proof and maybe get some rank? The goal of adventurers is to kill monsters, right? Any chance I can get a head start?'' 

I figured if I could at least get one of those tags it would keep me safe from other adventurers who would see me as an enemy. I had no intention of killing them so I doubted I would qualify as a monster in that regard. Besides my nightmarish body I was still me! 

Velariah hadn't minded the body at all, neither had I as I was occupied with other things up until now. Besides, it's not as if I was going to bother burying such a large creature. Added to that was the fact that it literally wore human skulls as trophies, anyone doing that didn't deserve the respects that I would normally have for the dead.   

''You mentioned a troll yesterday, seems you weren't messing around. You did that?'' 

I nodded. 

She walked over to the corpse and put her hands on it, preparing to turn it around.  

''I wouldn't do that if I were you.'' I warned her, remembering what had happened to its face. I was glad it had died face down so I wouldn't have to look at the result of my deadly special attack that I dubbed ''venom toss''. Very original, I know.  

''If you want that head start, I would have to at least make sure that you killed this thing and those cuts on its back and legs were not lethal. How did you kill this guy if I may ask?'' 

''Well uhm, I basically soaked his face in venom, if you want to make sure of it, be my guest, but don't say I didn't warn you.'' 

I took a few steps back and positioned myself behind her so that I couldn't possibly see its face. I kind of knew what reaction would be coming from the elf soon.  

''I don't easily believe that would kill a troll but then again, I couldn't believe my anti venom turning orange either, let's see here...'' 

She didn't manage to roll over the being's heavy body so she settled on lifting its head to get a look if what I had said was true. I gritted my teeth as I saw her drop the head back onto the grass and reached for her mouth with her hand.  

I had warned her. Even from the distance I could see her face run pale as she quickly turned around.  

''Believe me yet?'' 

She nodded, still covering her mouth. I couldn't help but grin in the same way she grinned at me before. Served her right.  

She was very quiet after that, silently packing her belongings, strapping the small pack around her waist, sheathing her sword that was still on the floor. In the meantime, I had created some more rope like thread to fasted our haul to my behind, out of sight of course. I let her eat the remaining coconuts and only drank some water from the soldier's canteen. 

After a short toilet break for Velariah, we loaded the wolves and the unibelea onto my spider abdomen and secured it with the extra threads I made. Velariah made sure it was fastened properly like when you used lashing straps to secure your cargo on a trailer. Never thought I would be transporting goods like this. I never thought my behind would actually manage to carry it without issue either. Seems whatever muscles kept it off the floor were mighty strong.  

We added the knife, coin purse and the canteens in her leather pack. She reacted to the coin purse professionally, not asking how I got it. I carried my axe, sword and spear with me. I had given the ''flimsy'' bow to the elf who had reluctantly accepted it and strapped it to her back. I had a hard time getting rid of it after all. Maybe I could use it to train some archery if nothing else. I was fairly certain I looked like a proper dungeon boss right now. I for one would be scared to death if a spider monster showed up in front of me in a forest like this wielding a different weapon in three hands. Damn, if only I had my fourth.  

At least they had no clue that I had no idea how to swing a sword but I would at least look intimidating to lesser monsters like the goblin I ran into earlier. Although, to be fair, he didn’t really seem like a monster to me and he hadn't come back with ''friends'' to slay me for my loot. Well, if he tried now, he would find the cave empty except for some wood.  

I double checked whether I had everything that I possessed and then I double checked again. Even though I didn't have much, the paranoia of forgetting something was still strong within me. I always did the same when exiting my apartment after all, never forgetting my phone or keys because of it. I walked around the small cave only leaving the pile of wood and a blood stain that dripped down the wall where I had hit my head against the rock behind.  

''How far was Dawnleaf again? I asked as I exited the cave for the last time.  

Velariah was outside trying to fix her messy hair as best she could with her hands. It appeared she didn’t have a comb as I had hoped, bummer.  

I laid down my weapons and tried to do the same although I doubted it would have any use in this forest. If we walked through densely grown vegetation anything would just undo it. Working on my own hair, I asked her why she didn’t wear hers in a pony tail, having it long and loose like her seemed quite impractical when swinging around a sword. Her answer had something to do with it being considered dishonorable for someone of her likes to so something like that to her hair.  

That made absolutely no sense to me. What did your hair have to do with that? Was she someone of high status or something? She surely didn't behave that way, at least not as of late. In the beginning I did get the impression she had to keep up appearances but that faded away after we talked and today.  

Wait, was she some kind of princess? No way, nobody would leave anyone like that to fight or adventure, would they? I was lost. This whole world so far had made no sense besides following a couple things that I had seen in fiction and games. I would not be one to judge based on beliefs as strange as they may be, this was another world after all. I still couldn't believe it, but any glance down or behind me would always snap me out of it and confirm my fears. 

''About half a day's walk east.'' she pointed in the direction that would be direct left of when you exited the cave that had served as my shelter so far.'' 

''We should reach it before evening.'' Well, wasn't she optimistic? The ''should'' in her sentence sounded ominous to me. I had this nasty feeling that this would not go exactly as planned, no idea why, but I had.  

After paranoia me checked one last time whether we had everything we set out east, leaving the troll corpse and the cave behind. Whoever would need it next was going to be lucky to have wood prepared for them.  

This part of the forest had quite a bit different vegetation from the part I had explored so far. The ground was filled with low brushes and roots and the Elf was visibly struggling trying to keep up with the pace she had set for herself. I on the other hand had no trouble passing through even if my movements were not optimal for a spider. I was still using the two legs at a time walking strategy which I would have to fix eventually.  

We also came across a few more animals that were nothing short of extraordinary, at least for me. In a large open space that we came across we found several bearded dragons sunbathing on a couple flat rocks that were spread throughout that area. Now, it appeared they were some of the more harmless critters of this forest. They just sat there, chilling, shifting colors from green to brown to red and whatnot. Yep, I had no idea why but it seemed they had chameleon genetic material in their bodies. I was quite disappointed to not get a longer look at them, I would have loved to see if they were going to assume even more vibrant colors but Velariah kept going at a faster pace through this open area, it seemed she had to make up for the time she lost earlier.  

Did I mention that they have six legs yet? It made them look even more exotic than they would already be by default and I am sure that collectors back on earth would have paid fortunes for such creatures. I silently hoped they had some cheat skill to prevent them from ending up in a greedy king's zoo or something similar. My experience with animals so far in this world iwas that they probably had.  

Not long after exiting the open space we walked through even more roots and prickly bushes which, by the way, did not have any effect on me besides feeling them. Yay for chitin, I guess. There were stinging nettles mixed in between and I was happy to not have my legs stinging from touching them.  I mean, I could still feel them through the hair on my legs apparently. I had to admit that it felt extremely awkward, like someone continually scraping a comb against it. I had no other way to describe it, they were far too sensitive. What did I need those hairs for anyway?  

A few minutes later we came across a small stream of crystal-clear water. About a meter wide, water flowed rapidly in one direction. I pondered over the fact whether it would have been better to find this water instead of the coconuts since this had been far closer. I concluded that the coconuts had actually been a better find, I was able to get this spear because of it after all. And, I was pretty damn sure I would find another use for those weird coconuts later. I wondered if Ice cream was a thing in this world. If not, I would definitely try to make some.  

A few fish were seen swimming downstream and I wondered if we should try to catch any.  When I asked about it Velariah answered me that she would be fine, they would have something when she got to the village. She really didn't seem like someone slacking off, did she?  

The water was fairly shallow and, according to Velariah, cold. She was shivering on the other side after the water only got to her knees. I wouldn't know. Temperatures weren't an issue for my legs, which in this case turned out to be useful. On the other hand, a nice hot bath had always been a treat for me. It was painful to acknowledge that I most likely wouldn't ever feel that way again, that is, assuming I still fit in a bathtub. I doubted I would. Maybe I could still get my upper body in one and leave my legs hanging off the sides? Yikes, that was a weird mental image.  

While I was crossing a duck came over to me, apparently interested by my legs and started pecking one of them. Before I could shoo it away Velariah halted me with her voice.  

''Don't move.'' she said calmly but firmly.  

Oh no, oh no, this wasn't one of those creatures, was it? I mean it was just a normal white duck what was it going to do? Bite me?  

I shouldn't have thought that. I should not have thought that. The moment I did, it opened its beak to reveal huge sharp teeth. I was frozen in fear of this animal that I had promptly dubbed a ''murder duck''. Seeing those teeth reminded me of an older comedy movie where a brave group of knights got slaughtered by a rabbit with ''huge sharp teeth''. Fortunately, this duck did not seem aggressive, rather, it was just curious. It bit down on some of the hairs on my legs and ripped them out without any effort. Auch, that stung. Stupid duck.  

When it swam away, I could see huge claws under its body through the clear water. They were claws like the ones one would find on a dragon. That is, considering dragons actually existed. They were complete with large nails at the end of them that could easily rip apart a person's flesh if enough force was applied, and considering Velariah found it necessary to warn me, I expected it would possess enough strength to do so.  

Seriously, how did that duck even swim with dragon like claws? isn't that that the webbed feet were for? Damn you biology, you have also failed me! 

The duck apparently delighted in my pain as it quacked contently while swimming off with what I assumed would be nesting material. I couldn't believe I was being salvaged to form a duck's nest. What a joke. Velariah's giggling only made it worse. Damn that elf. I could have died, you know? 

Now would have been a perfect time to be able to shoot webs out of my hands. I would have made her fall in the icy cold water. Why was this world so cruel to me? 

Ignoring her good mood, I moved on to land again. I prayed that duck was going to be the most dangerous creature we would meet today.  

About three hours later in which nothing much happened, I regretted thinking that. I should honestly stop jinxing myself like that. Right now, we were on the run for a very, very angry boar. Not only was it at least four times the size of any boar I knew in height alone, but it had huge tusks that looked like they would pierce our armor without any issues. Well, Velariah was the only one with actual armor, I doubted whether an exoskeleton and some shabby coconut bra would pass as armor. Once again, this boar had to have some characteristics that would set it apart from the ones on earth. Besides the unusual size that is. A boar that was taller than me was quite frightening.  

On its black back grew what looked like a bonsai tree. How it got there was a mystery to me. What it was doing there even more so. After it didn't seem to give up on chasing us after minutes of running my big brain came up with a high IQ move, or so I thought, at least. I asked the elf to draw its attention and run in circles around the nearby trees.  

The boar seemingly had a low enough intelligence to fall for the simplest trick in the gaming world, ''Taunt''. Though, I do have to admit Velariah played her part well. I had kind of been expecting questions or objectives but I was happy she obliged immediately. I was in no position to run much longer with the weight on my back dragging me down. 

While the beast was distracted, I quickly stuck sticky thread to a nearby tree at about half a meter off the ground. I rapidly ran to a close by tree and ran around it, spanning a trip wire. Since I doubted just one line would be enough to stop such a massive animal, I ran several laps around the two trees, almost creating a tennis net as I did so. I got to admit it wasn't easy to do this when you were fully packed and loaded with cargo but I somehow managed to pull it off, although slower than what I'd ideally liked. Velariah had noticed what I was doing but was quickly getting tired from what I could hear when she yelled at me. 

''How much longer do you need?'' she asked, completely worn out. 

''I'm done, go for it, remember to jump.''  

''With this armor? Are you kidding me? Running is one thing but jumping is something else entirely.'' she spat back in disbelief. 

''Well, you can always try rolling under it, I guess.'' I shrugged, not sure if she could see me. 

A few seconds later she appeared out of the bushes, the boar still chasing her, and made her way to my trap. She seemed to have taken my advice to heart as she managed to handedly roll under the threads, then continued rolling for a few meters knowing damn well she wouldn’t be safe right behind the trap, clever girl.  

The boar unfortunately for it, couldn't pass below the threads and got itself some of my web for dessert. After dragging the threads a few centimeters forward, it came to a halt, stuck and confused. I wasn't the one that was going to sit idly and see if it could wriggle itself free. Was that spider instinct creeping in? Creepy.  

I kept running circles around the trees, packing the bonsai boar, that's what I dubbed it, it had a nice catch to it, in even more thread. The more it struggled the more it got stuck. Yeap, that was definitely some pride swelling up inside me. Basking in the knowledge that I had succeeded in the most basic aspect of spider's life, I saw Velariah pierce the confused boar's skull with her sword. Blood spurted out and stained her armor from chest to legs. Brutal indeed.  

Producing so much thread left me physically drained and I lowered myself on the vines and bush that still covered the ground. I was amazed the elf had managed to run around in it so much.  

''Nice work.'' She complimented me as she cleaned the blood off her blade using the ''net'' I had spun. 

Seeing her staining my beautiful silk with blood I decided now would be a perfect time to check its resistance to cutting.  

''While you're at it, can you try to slash it, I want to know how strong it is.'' 

Nodding she brought down her sword from above.  

Nope, it would not stand against any actual weapon. The sword easily cut through the entire thing, allowing the boar to fall to its side now that one side was no longer holding it up. That was a shame, I had hoped it would be stronger than that. At least it was resistant against blunt force and dull weapons. I would have to check arrows later. For science, obviously. 

''That's one sharp sword.'' I let out, amazed at how easily it cut through compared to the knife I used earlier.  

''Elven craftsmanship at its finest.'' She proudly proclaimed, re-sheathing her blade. Then she sat down against the webbed boar. She sat against a part not covered in web. I imagined it would be a pain to get spider webs out of your hair, especially mine.  

''Now what? I asked. ''I doubt we can take this with us as well.'' 

''I'm sure one Saibon Boar more should be alright.'' 

I wasn't sure what was worse. Her idea suggesting I would carry or drag even more or the fact that this beast was literally named a bonsai boar. Bonsai being rearranged into Saibon that was. Whoever came up with that name deserved a good smack on the head.  

She laughed at my struggles.  

''Nah, I will have someone pick it up later. Its meat is a delicacy and I don't intend to let this opportunity pass by. These things are hard enough to hunt as it is. This is the first time I've actually killed one. Well, I had a little help but still.'' 

A little help she says.   

She read my mind again and laughed even louder.  

''Just kidding, you were great. I'd hate to get stuck in that.'' 

'Keep making fun of me and I will get you stuck in it.' I thought, trying to ignore the thought of some good ham sandwich. She had made me hungry even though I wasn't.  

''Besides, we're almost there.'' 

Finally, some good news. Actually, let me make sure.  

''How close is almost there?'' I was actually questioning how well suited she was as a guide. She had run into wolves and now she had led us right into a boar on anabolic steroids.  

''A few minutes, tops.''  

''You got to be joking, we could have just run all the way then.'' I spat. 

''Possibly, when you called out for me to lead it away, I trusted you had some kind of plan. I was kind of curious too. Besides, it didn't seem like you were going to make it much further with all that weight.''  

Touché.  

Wait, did she just call me fat? 

When I was about to get up a ball of fire flew past me and hit the boar in the stomach, scorching its skin and filling the air with the smell of crispy bacon.  

Velariah had already redrawn her sword and assumed a fighting stance. I couldn't let myself get distracted by that delicious smell and also got up and looked into the direction where the ball of fire had come from.  

Between the bushes, pretty well camouflaged, stood a figure belonging to a race I had seen before. A small green humanoid who wouldn't stand higher than my waist was creating another fireball in the palm of his hand.  

Magic was a thing in this world confirmed. Shame a goblin mage would be the first thing that I would see using it. What was worse, it was aiming for me!  

Besides the staff that resembled a tree root with a glowing orange orb adorned on top he didn't look much different from the goblin I had encountered before. A simple loincloth hid whatever needed to be hidden. While I was observing my now apparent enemy Velariah shouted instructions my way. 

''These things are rarely alone, run! I will hold on them off before I join you.'' She pointed in the direction we were going before.  

''If you encounter any of us, mention my name.'' 

Sounded reasonable, I just hoped if I ran into any elves they wouldn't kill me for thinking I killed her. She would be fine, right?  

If she died to goblins, I would surely be dead as well. 

I trusted her and did as she said. I started running into the direction she pointed towards. I hoped I could stop running soon. Is this what it felt like to be in the military where they would make you run with a bag full of rocks?  

'This elf better not die on me.' I thought as I kept running as much as my legs allowed me to. 

Faragi

This would be one of the things I would need help with. I tried to come up with a somewhat original ranking system but found that this system may be a bit too complicated to read, especially later on. I'd like to know what you guys think about it. I'd like to keep the same ''branch'' names. it is only the ''tier'' names I am not certain about.

PS: See what I did there? See if you can find all the puns.