1.11 A Spider walks into a bar

Eventually Velariah had gone quiet. Every question that she had asked and every comment she had made while walking to the village had resulted in me responding with ''Okay, Vel''. I was going to exploit her weakness to the fullest! It was only a fair payback after all.  

Before we started making our way into the village, Valtheril had suggested he had one of the guards deliver my shabby weapons to his house where I would be staying for the nights in the near future. It was nice to have them off my hands for a while at least. I would not need them in here anyway. 

As expected, people stared. It was hard to find anybody that didn't stop what they were doing to take a better look at what was walking through their village. I believe I even saw a young boy steal an apple or two from a nearby fruit stand, the owner was too busy with me to even notice.  

One or two people even yelled ''Monster!''. Velariah was quick to have them shut up by sending them an angry glare. One that even scared the shit out of me. I was happy she was here, I imagined this would have been far worse otherwise. I resolved I would stop calling her Vel. At least for now.  

The village wasn't terribly big so we were within the center in minutes. Dusk was falling and it seemed people were packing up. It appeared the large area around the tree in the middle of the village was indeed used as a forum. It seemed many stalls were set out along the edge with all kinds of different goods. Food, potions, armor, weapons and household objects like cutlery were some of the many things that I saw being packed.  

It was also quite obvious that most of these stalls belonged to the stores that had their entrances conveniently located facing the tree. All important shops could be easily found in one place. In some way it resembled a mall.  

Between the wooden buildings were a couple larger stone ones that stood out, their entrances were larger, at least two doors wide and had a bunch of people in all types of armor go in and out. It wasn't hard to guess that those had been the buildings that Valtheril had mentioned earlier. I wondered which one Valeriah's home was. 

I didn't get to see as much as I had liked otherwise because I was constantly looking out for people to see if any of them had the crazy idea of drawing their weapon near me. One guy that looked like he was in his late teens had actually walked up to me and had put his hand on his sword's hilt. Before he even knew what happened Velariah already had her sword drawn and was holding it under his chin.  

Her reflexes were quick, I wondered what rank she would end up with. 

She led me up a large stone building. This specific building was made out of grey bricks that were roughly the side of the ones you would find on Earth. The other stone buildings that I came across used much, much larger bricks that were not the same size. It seemed like an advance in masonry and it let me to think this building was far newer than the others I'd seen so far.  

A spider walked into a bar.  

No really, it actually happened. The entrance was basically a copy of the other building. A bar was located to the left of where we entered, a kitchen was located behind the counter in a separate room. This kitchen actually had things cooking, I could make out the smell of meat that was grilling which made me long for a good hamburger. I hoped they had cheese. Cheese made everything better. Especially hamburgers. 

This bar actually had people sitting on the stools conversing with the bartender. Well, conversing was a big word. They were mainly young male elves that were fixated on her little too low décolleté. It seems that the elves had already mastered the art of market manipulation a long time ago. 

Even with her breasts almost on full display it didn't prevent one of the happy drinkers to look at Velariah and me as we walked in. He had dropped a pint of what I assumed was beer when he noticed me. The barkeeper called for a cleanup from the kitchen, seemingly unfazed by a glass shattering. It was almost as if this happened daily and she just didn't have any will left to care anymore.  

His eyes were full of the shock that I had seen too many times already and then sadness as he looked at where he had dropped his beer. Not wanting to leave a bad impression I asked Velariah for the coin pouch and tossed the poor soul a silver coin before handing it back to her. From his reaction I could make up that a drink cost far less than what I had just given him. He brought a round of drink for his mates at the bar and I was left with the feeling that I got scammed, again.  

Oh well, maybe it would cause some positive stories to be told about me. Maybe karma would actually help me out in the future. 

The tables here weren't the long ones like the ones in the checkpoint. Rather, they had round tables with four chairs set out in the middle of the room and then rectangular tables with benches against the wall to the right. Against that wall was a long bench that enabled people to sit on the other side of the table.  

The toilet area seemed to be located in the same part of the building as well. These elves really worked from a set template, didn’t they? Oh well, why change something that works, right? 

Speaking about things that work, it seemed these elves took inspiration from anime. In front of where we entered again the far wall there was a counter with a lady behind it reading some papers. Behind her were all kinds of books and scrolls in a bookshelf that made up a two-by-two meters area on the wall. On the counter lay all kinds of stationery, I could make out a stamp and inkpad, all kinds of papers, files, documents, a quill and what looked like a block of wax which was probably used to seal letters. A candle was positioned on the desk as well, likely as a means to help reading and applying the wax.  

The desk was a mess I had to admit, and the lady behind the counter looked like she was laden with work to do as she was reading a paper and then looking to another document. She repeated this several times without noticing our approach.  

I let Velariah deal with this as I stood behind her and looked at the large wooden board that was on the wall to the right. This was the classic quest board and I saw it divided into several columns which indicated their skill level. The columns had large coins with a hole in the middle the size of saucers above them. From left to right they were made out of copper, a dull iron, a shining silver, and a shining gold. The last column to the right had no saucer, instead the word ''Ruby'' was written above it.  

'Guess their budget was spent.' I thought looking at the black letters that looked like they were branded into the wood.  

There were no columns for diamond or abyss, I wondered why. Maybe this area wasn't so dangerous? 

I got excited and wanted to have a look but figured I would need to get this registration out of the way first. Velariah grabbed my attention when she snapped a finger in front of my face.  

''Oi, we have a problem here.'' She and the lady behind the counter both looked at me,  

''We need your name to put on your adventurer tag.'' the elf behind the counter looked at me with a stern face. She had put the papers down and seemed to be past the fear stage.  

''Uhhhh.''  

Crap, I still don’t know my name, in fact, none of my lost memories had returned so far.  

''Can we put a temporary name on it?'' I asked. 

''Normally, we don’t do that kind of stuff, but you seem to be...'' she eyed me from top to toe. ''A special case. I heard you have the general's endorsement; I think we can work something out.'' 

I went to work on trying to come up with something that could be a proper temporary alias. 

''How about Octavia?'' Velariah suggested. 

She was joking, right?  

''Why, because I got eight legs? So funny, ha, ha, ha.'' I answered in pure sarcasm. ''How about no.'' 

She grinned. She was evil too, I was sure of it. 

Even the lady behind the counted grinned sheepishly. It was a conspiracy and they were all in on it. 

''Scarlet?'' came her next fake suggestion. 

''What, because of the hair? Surely you can do better than that.'' 

She grinned again.  

''Syria?'' It seems she was actually getting serious about this now. 

I shook my head, it reminded me too much about a country back on Earth, I'd rather not share the name with a country. 

''Aelnalonis?''  

What was that name?  

''Too long.'' I replied. ''If I am to pick a name, even temporary, I would prefer to not despise it.'' 

''Elania?'' 

That didn't sound half bad. 

''What's the deeper meaning in that one?'' I asked, half expecting something that would point towards my lower body. 

''There isn't any, not as far as I know.'' 

I looked into her eyes to see if she was lying. 

''I swear, I'm serious!'' She almost sounded scared. Good.  

''Alright, let's take that for now.'' 

The clerk behind the desk searched behind the desk and pulled out a document. 

''Since you were endorsed by the general, I will need a signature.'' 

I had literally just received a temporary name and they already wanted me to have a signature?  

''Just write your ''name''.'' Velariah said, ''I am the one observing and will put my signature down, as long as you write something it's fine. My father will also have to put his signature as approval.'' 

Alright, that seemed awfully official. I guess this kind of thing didn’t happen every day.  

The clerk indicated where I should sign. I wrote ''Elania'' as best as I could with the quill that was handed to me. This poor girl had to write like this all day, I wish I could give her a ballpoint pen to make her life easier. I seriously doubted a ballpoint pen would be something I could replicate in this world. I had taken apart many of them in my life out of boredom in class so I somewhat knew how it worked, but still. Creating the parts would be impossible with this world's technology level. 

Velariah put her signature next to mine.  

''You wanna grab something to eat while we wait?'' She asked. 

I wasn't particularly hungry but the delicious smell coming from the kitchen had my mouth watering for some food. I decided to take her up on the offer. 

''You got any hamburgers?'' I decided to try. 

''What’s that?''  

This world was a joke. 

''Well, if you do not know it yet, I can guarantee you it will be a big hit. It is a patty of minced meat on a bread bun with salad, onions, tomatoes and sauce. You could also add pickles and cheese if you want, though I am not a big fan of pickles myself.''  

''Nope.'' she said with glowing eyes ''Don't know it, but it sounds delicious and not that hard to make, correct?'' 

At least she didn’t say she had no idea what those ingredients were. That gave me hope. 

''Hah, you would be right, it is simple to make, the sauce would be the hardest part but I know a thing or two about cooking. I could possibly get it done if I have enough ingredients to try multiple times.'' 

Hamburgers, the ideal food for adventurers. I could practically taste them. While I was at it, I might as well introduce fries.  

Back to the present I let Velariah choose whatever thought she was good and I would have the same. When I heard she ordered a beer I did have that changed however. I would not be trying alcohol in public, not after what had happened last time. I just had her order some milk instead.  

My first real meal in this world was not quite like I imagined it to be. My first issue was finding a place to sit. The benches served well but I had to take a lot of hurdles to even get there. We ended up in the far-right corner. The next part had been tucking away all the extra legs under the table and behind the bench, my abdomen was resting on the floor. This was honestly such a hassle.  

When we were finally seated it didn't take long for the food to be served. A waiter brought in two plates, each of them had a large steak with a salad at the side. Then we were each handed a fork and knife which I had accepted without taking my eyes off my plate.  

My emotions were all over the place. I could never afford anything like this on Earth which caused me to hesitate before eating. It made me nervous. How much was this going to cost? 

Velariah had assured me it was fine; all this was only six copper coins. 

Oh my god, I was rich. I still had 5 copper, 6 silver and 3 gold coins, that would be well over 360 copper. I would be able to eat for a while. Well, I would still have to get armor and clothes, I hoped inflation hadn't hit that market yet.  

While we were eating, I saw Velariah's father enter the building. He had a quick look around and after spotting us he went to sit at the bar and ordered something.  

More and more people kept pouring in. Most of them were elves but I could see a human mixed in every now and then. Did they learn the elven language or was it the other way around? None of the people walking in were dressed in regular day wear, all of them wore some kind of combat armor. Soft leather to hard leather, mail to plate. I was pretty sure there were also some wizards or mages judging from the long robes. Those couldn't be convenient when running. 

The food itself was out of this world. The meat was extremely tender and rich in flavor, I had never experienced anything like it, well, besides the unibelea which was also tasteful. I guessed this had to be the result of extreme freshness and it being purely organic. Even the salad was delicious and I had not been a fan of salads back on earth. It was quite the shock to learn that this was how they could be. 

When we finished dinner, I had mentioned that I would like to get this done and over with as soon as possible so we would have some time to get clothes before nightfall. I quickly drank the last of my milk as the waiter came over to collect the payment. Velariah gave him eight copper coins, she tipped two for the trouble. I had suggested paying but she said I had done enough for her as it was. 

I parkoured through the now bustling dining area. People were way too fixated on my legs as I passed them on my way to the clerk's area. Valtheril hopped off the stool in one quick motion, his armor making quite some noise as he landed which turned a few heads.  

The lady behind the counter was preoccupied with a bunch of documents and seemed to be looking up in somewhat that looked that an encyclopedia. I could make out a few drawings of what looked like certain plants and leaves. She put down the documents when she saw us approach and pulled out the document that I had signed before out of a pile.  

Valtheril asked us to hold on for a minute as he read through the text. Maybe I should have actually read what I signed, oops. I had been too used to just clicking accept on the ''terms of agreement'' window back on earth. I mean, who read that anyway?  

When Valtheril seemed happy with everything stated he turned to me. 

''So, Elania...'' He paused.  

What was I supposed to say? I would still have to get used to that name. 

He continued before I could come up with a reply. 

''Have you paid the fee for joining the Dawnleaf guild yet?''  

I knew I should have read the document. 

''How much was that again?'' I asked, pretending to have forgotten. 

''One silver, or in your case, one silver one copper when paying with human coins.'' 

So that was a ten percent fee, not the smallest, but not really an issue for me at this point either.  

I had Velariah hand me the pouch again and fished out the necessary funds. That was two silver spent in the span of an hour, I would have to be careful not to keep spending it at this rate. I had been eying the quest board while waiting and started to get excited about checking it out. There seemed to be quite a few notes nailed into the silver category. There was bound to be something good.  

I gave the pouch back to the white-haired elf who once again put it away in her pack. I was going to need me one of those as well, this back-and-forth hassle was getting annoying. 

After paying, Velariah was handed a document to sign. She said it was for her ''trial'' and that it would start tomorrow. When I asked how long the trial was going to take, she said it could be anywhere between a few minutes and a few hours, depending on how many adventurers from different tiers and branches were available. 

Valtheril and Velariah both signed their respective documents and the clerk read over their signatures and let the ink dry before putting them away. Then she looked behind the counter and found what she was looking for after a few seconds of searching.  

A silver tag with chain was put before me on the desk. I could clearly read the name ''Elania'' engraved in the material with a silver sword and a ''II'' to the right of my temporary name. When did that engraving get done? Did they have these in stock with all kinds of names? That seemed extremely overcomplicated. I guessed she had the engraving done when we were eating.  

I took the tag and hung it around my neck, making sure the tag was over the cloth so I would be recognized by people as a guild member. I checked if there were any other things that would need to be arranged but Valtheril had assured me everything was in order. 

After thanking him I walked over to the board. My curiosity was killing me, I had to know what kind of quests were on this board.  

''Let's see now.'' I said to no one in particular as I started with the ''copper'' column. 

Wow, these quests sure sucked. I mean, rescuing a lost cat, removing weeds from the fields and chopping up logs into firewood were some of the things that were listed on here. I had read every request just to check if there was at least something that wouldn't be half bad but the most interesting would probably have been the one where someone requested an arm-wrestling partner. I had a lot of arms, after all. 

'Onward to iron' I thought. 

There were only two requests in this category which had kind of made a dent in my plan of starting off with something that would be considered ''too easy'' for me.  

One of them was to gather some herbs for the basic anti-venoms at the forest's edge. I had no idea about what the names were nor what they looked like so I could cross that one off fairly quickly.  

The other one was a quest for rat extermination in somebody's basement. Why it was listed as iron rank I had no idea. Maybe the rats in this world were the size of basketballs? I shuddered. More reason to not take that one. 

I wanted adventure, not pest control. 

I moved to silver, the first one I read already caught my attention. It was looking for someone to lift a mysterious curse that had made a farmer's goats become possessed by a demon. It was listed as a low tier silver quest but had a note saying that the strength of the demon was unknown. 

''Hey Velariah, do you know the story behind this one?'' I pointed to the request in question.  

She shrugged.  

''No idea, ask the Lore keeper behind the counter for more info.'' 

So that's what she was called, good to know. 

I walked over to the lady who seemed to be making progress a lot of the documents had been put away and she was visibly relieved.  

I asked her what the story behind the goat farmer's quest was. She replied that the farmer had to move his goats to a different field because they had become possessed by a demon that made them run in circles constantly. It had apparently taken a full day for a treemender to expel the demons that took hold of them.  

Well, that sounded interesting. I wasn't easily scared of paranormal things but being transported to this world had made me react differently to this than I normally would. I considered ditching the quest but was too curious to back down now. The farmer had not seen a demon so I was skeptical if there was truly such a thing. I know superstition used to be widespread in our history too.  

I decided I'd take the quest. The Lore keeper had given me the route to the farmer's home outside the city, close to the forest. I would check with him and make my way from there. 

Velariah had dragged me outside while it was still light. It was surprising how long the sky remained red in this world before the dark would actually set in. She said we should get some clothes quickly before the stores closed.  

I wondered if I was actually needed to buy clothes because as it turned out, I could not fit through any of the entrances. What ended up happening is that Velariah had gone inside while I waited outside. She had then come out again with a measuring tape to take a few measurements, more than I'd like to admit. I had told her I really didn't care for anything fancy. It just needed to be practical.  

That part seemed to be an issue with the four arms and whatnot. What ended up happening was that she would have a tailor basically create extra holes beneath the sleeves. The most awkward part was going to have her find lingerie that was going to fit me, the side straps may be an issue. I am not sure why but she had assured that all these things were not going to be a problem. Was that because of her status as the general's daughter or because of other reasons?  

I waited outside hoping she wouldn't get me anything ridiculous as a joke. She could really be a tease if she wanted to.  

The tag seemed to work like a charm. I still had people stare at me but when they noticed the tag they would at least stop shaking in their boots.  

During the time I was waiting, I had seen a guy with green scales for skin step out of the building with a paper bag in his hands. He had claws that resembled a dragon's minus the long nails and a scaly green tail with a beige underside that stuck through a hole his pants. I started to get an idea of what Velariah meant now. It seemed that I wouldn't be the first one that needed clothing to be adjusted to my body. 

He was also wearing a tag, except his was a shiny gold. I could see why he had that, even though his average day clothing consisting of blue jeans and a yellow shirt that matched his lower scales I could see his muscles clearly. He was not someone to be messing around with. He briefly acknowledged my presence with a slight nod before he moved on. 

'So lizardmen actually exist here too, that's kind of cool.' I concluded.  

I wondered what other races existed in this world. Not mine, that thing was for sure.  

Sometime after, Velariah stepped out of the shop with two large paper bags full of clothes. That seemed like an awful lot of clothes considering I only had one half of my body to cover.  

''How much did all of that cost?'' was the first thing I said. 

''Five silvers.'' she said. ''This should last you quite some time, this tailor is well known throughout the neighboring cities.''  

That had made me wonder if more people like that lizardman would come to shop here. I would love to know what races existed in this world. I mean, I could always ask Velariah but I'd like to see them for myself. I was not going to tell her that, lest I look like some kind of creep.  

This trip had also reduced my budget by quite a bit and it made me fearful for when I would have to buy armor. I was out of silver already. I technically had 30 more but I would have to exchange the gold to silver first I figured.  

Crap, I should have asked what the reward on the goat quest was. I was too busy with the contents to even think about the reward.  

''Do we still have time to look for armor?'' I asked Velariah. 

I noticed a fair number of shops had already closed and the stands that were once full of goods were completely cleaned out.  

''Nope, they just closed, I figured this would take priority, we can't have you walking around in that all day.'' she pointed to the red sheet that was covering my chest and arms. 

Fair enough.  

''At least give me one of those bags.'' I smiled at her. She looked determined to carry them all the way. 

''Nope.'' She smiled back. 

Alrighty then. What was she hiding? 

I hoped I would find out before it was too late.