13 Like One of Us

Ye raised a shaky hand and pointed at the man, no, the Fairy Emperor:

"You… what have you—? How did you—? This is—" Ye finally found a word that seemed to ask everything he needed: "WHY!?"

"Family. She will stay if she has family." The Fairy Emperor was still not using his mouth, simply thinking the words at Ye.

Ye's eye twitched, an ache growing his forehead. "And how exactly will this body be her family?"

"Brother."

"What?"

"I will be her Brother."

This caused the leaf fairy's whole face to spasm in rage.

"Are you an idiot?! No, obviously you're an idiot! You can't be her brother! This body isn't related to MeiMei! You'll just be some random stranger to her!"

"But… I was Brother before."

"You. Were. Related."

The Emperor glared at the fairy. "I. Was. Not."

"USE YOUR LIPS TO SPEAK, YOU'RE GIVING ME A HEADACHE!" Ye screamed, rubbing his temples and beyond frustrated. The Emperor didn't seem to realize that a human body couldn't communicate the same way as his spirit body. He was attempting to do the equivalent in the human body, but it just felt like he was driving nails into Ye's brain instead.

The Emperor blinked and then opened his mouth. A very strange, very ugly sound came out. The Emperor immediately closed his mouth, embarrassed at the horrendous noise he'd made. He'd listened to Ye's MeiMei sing long enough to know what he'd just done sounded horrible. Very unbefitting for the Lord of the Mountains.

Ye immediately burst out laughing. "What was that?! How the mighty have fallen! Can't even speak now! Hahahaha!"

The Emperor made a clumsy swipe at Ye, which he easily avoided.

Smirking, Ye said, "If you can't speak, how will you even introduce yourself to MeiMei? Don't think you can walk up to her without even saying hello."

The Emperor's face scrunched in frustration. Even the animals greeted each other. Just running up to another without saying a word was extremely rude and a good way to start a fight. He did not want to start a fight with MeiMei.

Suddenly, his face brightened, and he looked at Ye.

"Oh no." Ye was shaking his head.

The Emperor just kept staring.

"I won't."

Stare.

"You can't make me."

Staring harder.

Ye cried, flinging his arms in surrender. "Fine!"

The Emperor looked pleased.

That problem solved, the next major one immediately presented itself: he didn't know how to walk. He couldn't even stand. After several failed attempted, Ye finally stepped in:

"Think of yourself more like a bear. You've seen bears right? You remember how they stand? Imagine that and try and imitate it."

The Emperor nodded, leaning his body forward. He started on his hands and feet, naked butt sticking in the air, looking so ridiculous that Ye laughed at him again.

Ignoring the perpetually-rude fairy, the Emperor made a mighty push with his hands, forcing his upper body up. For a moment, he was standing, and then he leaned back a little too much and fell backwards.

Despite the failure, the Emperor had a better idea what he was trying to do. After two hours, he was able to stand. After four, he could walk. After six hours, he could run.

Ye, who'd been forced to stay and watch him struggle for six hours, was in a very sour mood by then. When the Emperor took several victory laps around him, he could take no more of it and jumped on the man's head and started viciously pulling his hair.

After several minutes of hair pulling and the Emperor trying to swat him off, Ye suddenly stopped and tilted his head.

"She's calling me, I should go." He hesitated, looking at the Emperor. The man nodded at him, Ye gave a sigh of relief. Without a glance back, he left the Emperor in the dust and went to his MeiMei.

Mei Hua had woken up without Ye next to her and panicked. She rushed out of their little stone hole-house and started calling for him. Within less than a minute he appeared, causing her to burst into tears.

"I,I thought you left!" She cried when she saw him burst through the bushes.

"Aw, don't cry, don't cry." Ye comforted, hopping onto her shoulder and patting her face. "There was… business… I was forced to take care of."

"Business?"

Ye scowled and went to explain, only to have a crashing sound interrupt him. Like a fat, clumsy indestructible bear, the Emperor had hurdled his body through the forest after Ye. Having only just learned to run, he hadn't learned how to dodge or jump, so he just plowed through everything in front of him. It was fortunate he had a sturdy body, otherwise he'd have died several times from the impacts.

The leaf fairy slapped his forehead and groaned, despairing.

The Emperor was covered in dirt, leaves, and twigs.

And still butt naked.

Mei Hua screamed.

Her voice was piercing and it startled the Emperor. He screamed back at her, stumbled and landed on his butt with a yelp.

Mei Hua didn't even dare attack, because the person in question was naked. Instead she covered her eyes and hoped she wouldn't have lost her innocence since she'd only glanced at him.

She'd never actually seen a man naked, having lived in the mountain, and then with the elderly couple in the town. But she'd been told by Madam Changying, in very stern words, that young ladies such as herself did not look at naked men. Touching was absolutely forbidden. To do either would mean she lost her innocence and purity and her value before the community would decrease.

Everyone had agreed with Madam Changying, so even if Mei Hua didn't understand it, she thought it must be very important and true.

With everyone screaming around him, Ye could only raise his eyes to the heavens.

"Everyone calm down!" He hollered at them both. "MeiMei, I know it's shocking, but THAT is the business I was talking about."

Mei Hua calmed down at his words, still not looking at the naked man.

"This… this… naked person? What possible business could you have with him?"

Ye thought, cobbling a story on the spot:

"I found him. He was naked when I found him. He can barely stand on two legs, he can't talk, and is… confused… about a lot of things." This was all technically true. "He needs someone to teach him how to.. To be human, I guess. He doesn't know how."

"What? How does he not know how?"

"He's an idiot."

The Emperor glared at Ye, but Ye ignored him.

"The Fairy Emperor… is he alright with this man being on the mountain?"

"Absolutely." Ye said with great earnestness.

"You're… you're sure?" Mei Hua asked again, somewhat confused.

"Oh yes, in fact… you could say the Emperor wants him here and wants us to help him."

Something was fishy about that phrasing, but Mei Hua couldn't figure out what Ye could be hiding in the statement.

"Well…" She hesitated and then nodded. "If the Emperor wants us to help him, I guess that's what we'll do."

Without looking directly at him, Mei Hua said to the man, "You stay here, I'll see if I can't get you something to wear."

She then turned and hastily ran back into the house. Grabbing a bolt of undyed cloth, she began cutting and sewing. She wasn't doing anything complicated, it was basically a wrap around dress. Pants would come later.

When she went outside, Ye and the man were still there. The man was on his hands and feet with his butt in the air.

"GODS, WHAT'S HE DOING?!" She shrieked, dropping what she'd just made and covering her face with her hands.

Ye practically rolled on the floor, chortling so hard he thought he might die.

"Stop laughing and do something!" Mei Hua yelled angrily.

"I can't help it and he's just trying to stand!"

"He's what?!"

"I told you, he's an idiot. He doesn't know how to stand properly. He needs someone to teach him."

"…ancestors help me…" Mei Hua said weakly, wondering if the Emperor hated her. Was this the price to pay for returning? Why else would he have tasked her with helping take care of this lunatic?

Grabbing the hastily made dress, she looked anywhere but at the man. She shoved it in his general direction, and realizing he didn't understand, she instructed: "You need to put this on, alright? It should be easy. Ye, can you help him? Please???"

Ye had finally stopped his merriment and waved a hand. "Yes, yes, I'll help him. You just turn around and leave it to me."

She turned around and sat down, breathing shakily. Behind her she could hear Ye "helping":

"Stop poking it."

"What? It's for your lower half, what did you think it was for?"

"Don't stand on it, you idiot."

"Gods, grab it with your hands, yes like that."

"En, now wrap it around—wait! Ugh… if you let go of one side how can you wrap it…"

"That's it, you hold that side and stop moving!"

There was a grunt and a shuffle.

Breathing heavily, Ye called to Mei Hua, "MeiMei, it's safe now."

Relieved, Mei Hua stood up and looked at the man.

Ah, he was such a mess! The wrap was on, but it was a clumsy job. She sighed, and stepped forward, untying it. As long as she was careful, she could rewrap and tie it and she wouldn't see anything.

The man watched her the entire time, and when she nodded at a job well done, he nodded too. The action struck her as very childlike and she had to gulp down a giggle. Ye had already laughed heartily at the man enough, she suspected he didn't need more from her.