Chapter 41 - 41

{The time skip is five years}

Flames danced across her fingers idly, pulling all her focus. Red eyes were sharp as they intently gazed into the flames. The brightness did nothing to hinder her vision, nor did the heat. A slow breath escaped pushing the flames slightly back. They flickered dangerously, almost dying out. Slowly they burned brighter, transitioning from blue to red. As she folded her fingers the flames followed quickly. They were too afraid to lose contact with her. She formed a fist. The fire engulfed her hand completely. Its color had changed again, now the color of her hair. It was brilliant. Truly magnificent. Nothing like it. A phoenix flames were truly unique. A fire no other creature could hope to create, hold or control. Nothing could withstand the heat their fire brings.Sometimes not even the phoenix themselves. Tragic really.

Scarlet hair fell before her eyes causing Erza to momentarily lose focus. She blinked, staring through fine locks to see the flickering flames. Archer was motionless across from her, all too focused on her created fire. She had been playing with them since the moment they sat down, silently and unmoving. She didn't speak. Her breathing was dangerously slow, sometimes leaving Erza wondering. It was as if she wasn't even breathing. Why had she distracted herself so? She wanted to ask her. Was something bothering her? Was something plaguing her mind? Erza didn't know and she wondered. Yet she didn't dare say a word, not wanting to break her trance.

Six years. It had been six years since Archer joined the guild. Six years since Erza met her. Six years of learning as much as she could about her. She knew what others did not. The fact that Archer easily revealed more of herself to her always made her proud. Erza knew her far better than most in the guild. Most of what she had learned had been through quiet observation. Something she had learned from Archer. Observation can tell one many things, as she liked to say.

February fourteenth.

That is what Erza learned. On February fourteenth Archer would be a tad bit different. Such as she was at the moment. Distracted. Unmoving and silent. She would smile as she often did, but it wouldn't be the same. It was strained and tight. She never went out on missions on this day. She never antagonized Laxus, something she enjoyed doing. She wouldn't play any music. She wouldn't sing any songs. She wouldnt tell a random story that would prove to be irrelevant. She was just distracted. It was purposeful. She purposely distracted herself. She purposely remained far more detatched than she usually was. She purposely sealed up most of her emotions.

Erza didn't know why.

At first she figured she just wasn't a big fan of Valentines day.

Then she learned it was her birthday. An interesting discovery. One Archer admitted with a strained smile.

Erza couldn't understand. She didn't seem very happy about it. She never celebrated her birthday. She never mentioned it. Nothing.

There was obviously something else that had her this way. Erza wanted to know, but Archer didn't seem keen on enlightening her.

"I really don't get you"

At the voice both red and brown eyes found Mira standing at their table. She had her eyes firmly planted on Archer, who showed no actual reaction to her appearance. She had glanced at her for just a second before her eyes were again focused on her ever shifting flames.

"What is it now Mira?" Erza decided to ask.

"Her" a finger was pointed at Archer.

"What about her?"

"It's valintines day and she's anything but festive. This happens every year. What is your deal with this day?"

Archer shrugged as she slowly formed a fist. The flames were quickly gone as she placed her hand on the table. Only then did she meet Mira's eyes.

"I see no need to celebrate this day" she said stoically, eyes drifting around the guild slowly. It was decorated to the theme of the day, something Archer couldn't even try to care about.

"It's the day of love" Mira argued

"Changes nothing"

Mira was ready to say something else. Anything to convince Archer and also find out why she wasn't a fan of this day. However she stopped herself. Archer had stood from her seat, hands on the table and eyes casted downwards for a moment. She was quiet for a long while before she mumbled an apology and walked past her. Mira was left confused and shocked as she watched her retreating form. The guild was silent as they too watched her go. They had all noticed her unusual behavior,but had said nothing. They had shrugged it off as her just being as odd as usual. She was rather unpredictable after all. With her just walking off like that they realized that that was not the case. Something was truly weighing on her.

"What's wrong with her?" It was Cana who asked the question. She was worried despite herself.

At the question everyone looked to Erza, who furrowed her brows under the sudden attention. She quirked a brow in question.

"Why are you looking at me?"

"You're the only one who would know the answer to that question" Mira pointed out the obvious. "In all her six years of being here you're the one who knows the most about her, next to the dragon slayers"

Erza would tell them to ask them instead, but none were present. For some reason each of them were off on a mission.

"Well I don't know" the words left her in frustration. She had been trying to learn the truth for six years. Archer just refused to talk about it. When she asked the slayers they didn't tell her anything either. All she learned was that they weren't entirely informed of the details, but something had happened that had Archer retreating behind a built wall.

"She doesn't want to talk about it"

~~~~~~~~~

"Family is important"

Erza almost jumped at the sudden voice. She almost stumbled over her feet as she tried to find the person those words came from. She was too lost in her thoughts to notice anyone behind her and was relieved to find a familiar face. Behind her stood Hera. One of the many goddesses Archer had the honor of summoning. The woman wore a small smile, brown eyes softing in a silent apology at having frightened the redhead. As she approached Erza found herself mesmerized by her elegance as she had been upon first meeting her. She moved with such grace and beauty that it was sometimes hard to comprehend. Red trailed behind her as her dress rose with the wind, giving the illusion of vermilion wings. It almost had Erza forgetting her words.

"Family" Erza said the word questionably as she followed after the goddess. She watched the way her hair cascaded down the length of her back in a beautiful coutain of auburn.

"Yes" was her answer as she slowed her pace, allowing the sixteen year old to walk beside her. "The Phoenix hold family dear, primarily putting family before all and anybody else. To lose one of their own can weigh on them for centuries"

This had Erza confused. Phoenix were immortal were they not? Were they to perish they would simply return. That is what Archer had told her. That is what she believed, but Hera was telling her something completely different.

"I can see your confusion" the goddess spoke after a long pause. "Phoenix can shuffle off this mortal coil permanently. There will always be something that renders those thought to live untill the ends of time mortal"

A hand came to rest on her head softly, stopping her. Looking up she met soft brown eyes and a tight smile as Hera gazed at her. She seemed truly sorry for reasons unknown.

"Losing one's family can be cripling" she spoke softly , bittersweet. "For Phoenix even more so for it is often times the only ones they care for. It is even harder for those not truly capable of control. The grief can overwhelm them. The fire can burn too brightly, too powerfully until it engulfs them entirely"

The weigh of what Hera was implying came crashing down on her heavily. It had her speechless as her mind and heart raced at the realization. She expected many things. She had come up with many reasons for Archer's dismissal of this day, but for some reason she never considered what was actually the truth.

"That's why she's so detatched today"

Hera hummed before gazing ahead. She seemed thoughtful for a moment.

"She builds a wall and retreats to prevent her spiral. She numbs herself to all emotion so she won't feel the pain her grief would bring" the emotion in her voice was poigent as if she too could feel the terrible pain the loss brought with it. "While it saves her from the fire it does nothing to save herself. She should not bury all that she feels for it will surface eventually. And when it does she won't be strong enough to withstand it"

Her heart pounded loudly in her ċhėst as worry quickly overcame her. Archer was hurting. She was mourning and in pain and she was oblivious. Erza was supposed to protect her. She was supposed to be there for her and yet she was blind to her pain. Archer was always the one bringing comfort, but now that she needed it she was retreating. She should've come to her. She didn't even have to tell her what the problem was. All she needed to do was come to her. When she needed her she would be there.

She made a promise. She promised to always be there, but now she wasn't.

She was sprinting before she even knew it, forcing her legs to carry her as fast as they could. The world was a blur as she sped through the streets in her desperate wish to be at Archer's side. Her ċhėst was tight with guilt even when she knew it was not her fault. She didn't know what was going on. How could she possibly? There was no need for guilt to grip her so tightly. There was no need for her to blame herself for anything. But the thoughts in her head said otherwise. She should've known. She should've seen past it all. Why didn't she look harder?

Coming around the corner she narrowly avoided falling onto the pavement or crashing into the door. She was panting when she stumbled through, immediately climbing up the stairs in search of Archer's room.

"Archer"

When words fail, action speaks volumes

So Erza did the one thing Archer would always do when she needed her.

"Scarlet?" The surprise could be heard in her voice as Archer mumbled into her shoulder. She was unmoving as the action caught her off guard. Erza had hugged her many times. She was used to it. So why did this feel different? Erza clung to her tightly and gently. Fingers tangled in her hair, softly pressing into her scalp. Arms wrapped around her shoulders holding her close. It was different. She had climbed into her ŀȧp, thɨġhs straddling her own. It felt different. Why?

Her scent was intoxicating. Archer couldn't help herself as she nuzzled between her neck and shoulder. She let her eyes shut as her arms snaked around her waist, pulling her tighter against her. She filled with warmth as she took deep gulps of her scent. It was calming. It brought emotion, something she had been avoiding all day. She didn't want to feel anything for she did not want the pain that would come. It was dangerous. So she retreated. Sorrow and grief didn't come. Erza never brought with her such emotions. Yet she brings with her emotions she was told to be wary of.

"You were told" the words were mumbled into her flesh as Archer kept her face buried between her neck.

A hum in admittance was her answer. There was silence for a long while as Archer seemed to mull over her thoughts. She released another breath, pressing further into her.

"I had a brother" eyes were glazed as Archer stared ahead at nothing. Something stirred with the words. Something that had her ċhėst tightening almost painfully. "Today is his birthday as well"

Her memories of him were very little. They didn't get to spend much time together. The time they got was more than enough for them to grow close. Very close. It's true what they say about twins. They did almost everything together for they seemed to enjoy the same things. It was nice having someone like yourself. Someone who you could understand and vice versa.

"I only had five years with him. Five short years before he was taken from me" such short time and she was impacted so. Sometimes she wished she didn't remember those times so clearly. Just when she needed to forget her memories remained. They would play over and over again as she forced herself to talk about it. A tragic movie constantly playing behind her eyes. "He was gone, just like that. Lost to me on this very day"

All Erza could do was hold her. There were no words she could say that would help in anyway. What could she say? Nothing. She couldn't think of a single word that would make things any better. It almost had her feeling useless, but she pushed those thoughts away. She could somewhat relate to what Archer was experiencing, having been forced to abandon those she saw as siblings.

"It hurts terribly" Erza almost panicked at how brittle her voice was. She sounded close to tears. Her grip on her had tightened greatly. She was clinging to her desperately as she hid her face in her shoulder, trying not to let the dam break.

The pain in her ċhėst made it hard to breathe. She could feel her insides burning as her emotions grew stronger. Her breath stuttered as she held back a sob. The heat lingered beneath her skin, threathing to explode. It wouldn't happen. She mentally told herself that repeatedly as Erza's scent became all she could focus on. She kept her tettered. She kept her in control. She was strong enough to resist the fire in her presence, for her dėsɨrė not to harm her was far stronger.

"Archer"

It was Silver she opened her eyes to. The exceed was at her eye level, paw resting lightly on her forehead in a kind gesture.

"It'll be alright" she reassured softly. "We're here so you don't have to go through anything alone"

"You should've come to me" with hands on her cheek Archer was compelled to meet brown eyes. "Why didn't you?"

She was afraid. She was avoiding all emotion. She did not want to feel anything and all Erza does is make her feel things. She knew that if she were to come seeking her comfort she would be breaking before her and she tried to avoid that. She makes it terribly hard to resist no matter how hard she fought against it.

"You're... "She trailed as she searched her expression. She made her very vulnerable to many, many emotions. She experiences them so strongly when she's near, something she wasn't supposed to allow. And yet she never lost control. The fire burned hotter under her flesh, but never consumed her. It would pulse almost pleasantly, contrasting everything she had expected.

"My sweet surrender"