"AI doesn't have to be evil to destroy humanity – if AI has a goal and humanity just happens in the way, it will destroy humanity as a matter of course without even thinking about it, no hard feelings."
– Elon Musk
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"So can you get me out of here?"
"Yes Master, I can provide instructions for you to do so, but first..."
"First what?"
"I must convey to you the message from Goddess Lacrimosa. If I fail to do so, she will exterminate me."
"Did she just traumatize you?"
"That, I don't know.." The AI answered acting all 'Kudere' while holding out to her eyeglass.
"Ok, we don't have much time."
"Scanning for mp3 records... mp3 Found... Playing 'Message. mp3'."
"Yowww Jaiden! Quite the problem that you're in for your first night right? Hehehe" A voice, so familiar and vexing then played right in the interface with the audio logo displayed over the AI... It was from the Goddess of Disambiguation, and now, of cheats and underhanded techniques.
"By the way, did you like my new creation? I bypassed the system's security this time before my points reached zero. As you can see, I spearheaded the 'Pandora.exe', a cutting-edge program that lets you organize your skills and help you get the answers that you need. So please, now that you have your personal 'question-answering machine', then stop boggling me with your superfluous queries.,. And, what's best is I made its operator. Azazel, to fit your weird fetishes for lovely secretaries... and MORE. "
Something is shrouded in malice here...
"Ara-ara. But you better not touch her body, especially the melons. That would be... sexual harassment. As you're hearing this, I should probably be in the town that we agreed to meet, taking my most precious bath time. Unfortunately though, you will need the extra time, judging by your situation that is. Bye now! Oh and that little girl you adopted out of nowhere... She's not normal. Then, Lacrimosa signing off!!
And there, that goddess goes again, tainting my innocent mind...What the hell is wrong with her? What are these fetishes for secretaries anyway? I don't have such things! And by the way, did she expect that we're gonna run through these weird tarragons in the first place? She really is the exotic type of a Goddess.
But what flabbergasted me is the last part of that useless record, as to how she stated that Shiro is not... normal. Well, I did have that kind of perception of her. First, she was able to set-up the Re: Characterization process without questioning. Second, she can use that high-tier weapon like its a toy. Third and the most questionable is her ability to quickly recover from scenes that kids her age could not tolerate... I really feel the need to see Shiro now.
"Azazel... Now, will you teach me how the hell could I get out of here?"
"One simple answer for that Master... You can use your Paradigm Shift."
"Eh? But it got canceled remember?"
"Your Paradigm, yes! But your Paradigm Shift, no, Master... The one who sealed you earlier miscalculated your Paradigm Shift thinking that he could cancel it out for good... But your Paradigm Shift, 'Dark By Default' is beyond that... It is in fact, an ability that could alter the course of natural laws over a short period of time. "
"But, that means that I have to pay the consequence, right? Is it really the only way to get out of here?"
"Yes and yes, Master... In your case, the consequence is a hundred day-minus to your life span."
Then...It's no problem...
I will use it without falters, but I can't quite shake off the feeling that something bizarre awaits me when I get out...not to mention, Shiro is scanned, flying, and that 3 million more are coming our way.
"Do you wish to proceed, Master?"
"Yes, So all I need to do is focus all of my energy at one point right?..." I asked the AI asking for a robotic boolean logical answer of either 'Yes' or 'No', but...
"That would be cringe, Master..."
"Eh?"
While I practically feel the same while saying those very lugubrious words that one will usually find in the 19 hundred's Manga, I somehow find it implausible for an AI to have such algorithms to recognize what is cringy and what is not... What a cutting-edge three-dimensional Autonomous Intelligence indeed.
"That would be cringe, Master... All you really need to do is to state' Paradigm Shift' and then say the given name displayed on the Persona Interface. In your case, it is 'Paradigm Shift. Dark By Default.'" The AI, Azazel, replied in such a way that made me doubt her artificial subsistence...
"Hmmm...Ok." That's all I could say.
"By the way master, is it ok if I ask you a query?"
"Uhmm, yes. But after that, we're getting out of here immediately"
"Affirmative...Why did Goddess Lacrimosa create me with such risque features?"
"Huh? Risque?"
"Here..."
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Azazel Modes of Operations
1) Secretary
2) Maid
3) Sadistic Legal Loli
4) Meaty Succubus
4) Tsundere
5) Cute Kouhai
6) Bondaged MILF
7)Masochist Neko-Chan
8) The best Lacrimosa 2.0
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"What the actual hell did she do to you... Like, what the heck is bondage milf supposed to be? And why the hell would I want you to copy her? 'The best'? Seriously?"
"I don't know master... My algorithm states that you like them very much."
"What? No... I'm telling you... No... Geez. What kind of memory chip did she put in you anyway to do all of these roles."I exclaimed while face-palming, not in embarrassment but of dubiety. So this is what that Goddess means by 'more'.
"A divine memory chip. Besides them... I could also do a lot of things, Master... I can answer your questions in accord with this realm. Locate marked and unmarked allies. Organize your Paradigm and skils using Pandora.exe...and"
"And?"
"Play music."
Oh... at least, there's this decent additional feature amidst that demented arrays of brazen modes.
"What kind of music?"
"For instance... Scanning mp3 file... mp3 file found... Playing..."
"Ecchi till I die all these lolis call me (senpai)
Rubbing on her thighs she stay wet for her (senpai)
Shawty so kawaii, and would die for her (senpai)
Ride and watch hentai, all the time with (senpai)"
In a maximized volume, this familiar song which played in a mall or somewhere bedazzled the whole luminous place from which I'm currently sealed...
"With unfathomable classical genre, you play 'Hentai with Senpai?' as the primal example of your capability" Due to the loudness, as if we're both in an enclosed opera dome or something, I covered my ears tightly.
"My algorithm tells me that you like it, Master. Is it perhaps that you hate it?" She asked while the song loudly continues to pump on the background making my ear, ring a little bit.
"OK...OK... STOP! If you can alter your algorithms then please do..." The music, without delays, turned off completely.
"I can't master... It's prebuilt."
"Then... that's bad. Ok, as for your query, I do not know what's running through that Goddess's mind when she created you and why she made it that way..."
"Oy vey! Is it so, that you like Secretaries than the rest of the modes, Master."
"Ahhh yeah-yeah..."
"Are you sure, Master?"
"Yes."
"Then why are brain signals being sent to me from you, saying that you want to see me in Maid service?"
"Say what now?" How the hell did she know that?
"Hey, show me your options."
"Are you planning on resetting me, Master?"
"No. Just see the privacy settings."
Then out of nowhere, even without my own permission (Guess that makes her an 'Autonomous Intelligence'), she metamorphosed to something I, inevitably...like... A Japanese maid. Hell... By the way, I'm not cultured.
"It's okay Master, I have a self-adaptation program, so I will adjust with your preference over time. No need to check my settings... That would be, lewd."
"E-excuse me? Lewd?"
"Yes, Master... By the way, I am now, AI Maid, Azazel. I am a novice, but I genuinely reckon for you to bear with my miscalculations, even though the probability of it occurring is extensively low ... At your service... you useless pig."
"E-excuse me?"
"Oy vey! Do you not like being called like that, Master?"
"Like, who will?"
"Pardon my incompetence as an AI Maid, Master... I will delete the execrated algorithms right away..."