Chapter 43

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A serene snowfall began far away in the cold regions of Fiore. The blizzard passed, the day was falling, and the sun had almost disappeared behind the high hills. Slowly, one of the snowflakes, caught by the wind, swept across the dark sky, and then proportioned between a pair of frozen trees. Having made this way, she finally landed. The snow had no feelings, so he absolutely did not care where the wind could bring it. Landing on a pile of bloody corpses, the snowflake quickly took on a faint purple hue.

Suddenly, a strange rustle swept through the area, and then ...

- Haaa! - the lifeless silhouette, which had sat in the snow for about an hour, suddenly jumped up. His head and shoulders instantly lost their snow-white veil.

The guy was breathing heavily and hastily looking around. The picture ahead did not surprise him, he clearly remembered everything that he had done, but still his body was still trembling and this was definitely not due to the frost in the air. This time the influence of death has exceeded all limits!

Aidan sat in front of a pile of corpses, markedly different from the one that had originally appeared here. Now these were not whole bodies or even body parts, and now they no longer belonged only to people. Here lay animals: deer, hares, birds, and each of the bodies was cut into pieces and properly gutted. He threw them into heaps and bleed! It was already frozen and covered with snow, but if you dig up just a little ...

Throwing aside a small layer of snow, Aidan grimaced and turned away from the mess. Even if this pile was already covered with snow, intestines and organs were scattered everywhere. Disgusting and at the same time incredibly creepy sight. Even a murderer, who has seen blood more than once, could not stand such a "masterpiece"!

Definitely, a normal person would never do something like this ...

It was as if he had built some kind of altar of flesh. The worst thing is that he even now remembered what he felt at that moment. He not only remembered everything in the smallest detail, how he killed each of these animals and dismembered, he remembered what he felt ...

"This time I got carried away ..." - Massaging his temples, Aidan could not help but sigh in disappointment. Even realizing that all this was not entirely his doing, he still could not feel inner contempt and disgust for what he had done. He didn't like the murder process itself, not at all ... In fact, he didn't care deeply about it, but the way the blood poured and merged with the snow, for some reason, seemed to him delightful, and he must admit, even now it seemed to him it's a pretty good sight. This made him feel even worse - as if an alcoholic unable to cope with the habit, constantly making the same stupid mistakes.

He had known for a long time that it was not the moment of the murder that was important to him, but some kind of perverted striving for a sense of life, understanding, awareness. It was difficult to convey, but he seemed to be trying to comprehend something, to feel life, its origins ... It all boiled down to understanding and merging of the two opposites of the magic of the Killer of the Gods of Life and Death. It was also frightening that every time he was more and more clearly aware of herself in this strange state, he could no longer just see everything as an outside observer. Now he felt all the same, as if forgetting who he was. He not only liked it, but he even understood that it was impossible to do otherwise, as if this was the only way to realize the magic itself.

"I know it's not me, but ... This concept of death is so close. The first time I realized that I want life, the next time I realized that I can still resist partly and I could restrain myself without harming Wendy. But, for the third time, I realized that I would definitely harm her ...

This was what Aidan feared, this death-influenced form that he wished to subdue. More than a month ago, he unconsciously again underwent the influence of his magic and turned into this eerie form. Then he realized that he was not able to restrain her when he wanted. Moreover, this transformation is completely independent of the use of death magic. He hadn't used it since his last fight with lizards in the forest. Therefore, he quickly understood everything - his magic in part turned into a curse, which he must release from time to time. Therefore, these people were very unlucky ... The Magic of Death wanted to taste life, not only to kill others, but rather to bathe in life force. Only this time, Aidan released it on purpose in order to satisfy this hunger at least temporarily. The last time in the forest, he completely killed dozens of trees and only then could he calm down. If he could not contain this power, he could at least purposely release it in a controlled environment in order to understand how to contain it in the future! Only this last time, he realized that everything was not so simple ... The point was not entirely in death, but rather in balance with life. This was one of the important secrets of this concept of Assassin magic, the reason why this magic could become controlled by the wizard. Aidan already knew that this was all due to a lack of understanding of magic, but now he was convinced that it was not only about death, but probably life too.

"Zeref was completely out of control, but the magic of the Assassins changed that, I don't know exactly what's what yet. But, apparently, everything changes every time. This should definitely lead to something. I don't feel it's a threat to myself, but ... It definitely suggests that my magic is very strong and I'm too weak to use it mindlessly. But, it does not ask me for permission at all, even after this time I can again feel that I can release a much larger tornado of death or grow more trees with the help of life. This proves once again that undergoing this state of madness, I become stronger. But, I'm still scared ... I'm completely unsure of the ability to stop this. I do not want to harm my loved ones because of sudden outbreaks "

Of course, along with concerns and concerns, there were some benefits beyond increased control. Now Aidan unconsciously felt his next surge of magic. We can say that with each appeal, he took more and more control over this, but at the same time, it did not please him at all. Not only did he kill so many this time, but he also spent hours in this guise. This means that he was wrong about something. If so, could it be even longer next time ... It was annoying.

- I think now I have enough time to return to the guild. I now have about six months, if nothing happens that is not controlled. As long as I do not use death and comprehend life intelligently, I can keep everything under control.