Chapter 83 - I'm Not Fine

"We will start planning to attack the enemies but before that, we must make all necessary preparations to secure this place and maintain its safety. Such an attack must not happen again." Colonel Arias stood near the head end of the table, speaking to the team members.

He showed them a map of the area where they were currently staying. "This is the map of Rago District." Pointing at the small place which was located in the southeast corner of the map, he said, "According to the investigation, this was the route used by the enemies to attack our comrades days ago."

The route was not that far from the Oakwood Lake and it was already abandoned years ago but the enemies somehow discovered it and that's how the horrendous faced off happened which claimed many lives!

"We will secure this route first thing in the morning." Shifting his gaze to Lt. Morris, the Colonel ordered, "Take four soldiers with you and make sure that no living being wouldn't be able to take that path anymore."

"Yes, sir." Lt. Morris responded firmly.

"One more thing. The other four should be a mix of the two teams, Team Delta and Team Echo." Meeting the eyes of the soldiers, Colonel Arias declared, "We need to work as one team. So to strengthen our teamwork, everything will be performed by the two teams combined. Are we clear?"

"Yes, sir!" The team members responded in unison.

"Lt. Gary will lead the other four soldiers and survey the area. Check out the conditions of the people here. That incident might still shock them and it might even affect their daily lives." Colonel Arias commanded.

"Remember, the people here are mostly poor farmers, fishermen and woodcutters. They won't be able to hold on for long if they continued to live in fear. You must try your best to make them feel at ease when you survey the area. Make them believe that everything will be fine again."

"You can be at ease, sir. I will try my best to make them feel protected." Lt. Gary, the Vice-Captain of Team Echo said to the Colonel.

"But sir..." The Corporal who was one of the soldiers who survived the attack speak up but when all eyes were shifted to him, he paused midway as he was feeling nervous.

"Carry on." Colonel Arias look at the Corporal and encouraged him to say what he wants.

Nervously narrowing his eyes at the small maps which were placed on the table, the Corporal continued, "What if things go wrong? Even last time, we had no idea about the attack. It was too sudden and many of our comrades lose their life. What if -"

"There's no what if." Colonel Arias interrupted the Corporal. All at once, his calm face turned darkened. "Why? Are you feeling scared?" He asked the Corporal as his gaze fixated on him.

His voice that suddenly becomes colder than ever before, put everyone in the room in an alert. The Deputy Commander never talked that way to anyone! He always remained friendly while maintaining his principles at the same time.

Intimidated, the Corporal avoided Colonel Arias's cold gaze as much as he could. Mustering all his bravery, he replied, "Sir, that was my first ever mission since I joined the army. But many of my comrades died -"

"Have you ever heard about Operation 309, Corporal Allen?" Colonel Arias asked.

"I do, sir. Every soldier won't be able to forget that mission." Corporal Allen quickly replied.

"Why?" Colonel Arias asked once again.

Captain Ella glanced at her boyfriend, who was the leader of the team for now. When Arias mentioned Operation 309, Captain Eleanor figured out right away that he was more than disappointed this time! If not, then he won't say about that Operation.

She knows that the coward Corporal had no idea about what he was saying but what could she possibly do? They were at work for now and she was in no position to interfere when the Deputy Commander was talking.

"Because it was one of the biggest disasters of our Army Forces. A team of 20 elite soldiers were sent in the mission to capture the leader of the world-renowned terrorist. But it was a failure and only one of our soldiers survived." Corporal Allen enunciated one of the most tragic missions in the history of Silveren Army.

As soon as the Corporal finished talking, Colonel Arias surprised everyone by saying, "That lone survivor was me. And for your information, Corporal, that was my first mission too."

Every soldier in the room, except Captain Eleanor, looked up at the Colonel, who was standing at the end of the table. The reaction on their faces showed that they didn't expect this kind of revelation at all. When the operation failed 7 years ago, the identity of the only survivor was not revealed to protect him for possible dangers.

Corporal Allen felt like a glass of chilly cold water was splashed straight his face! He felt nervous and afraid for losing some of his comrades in his first ever mission. But the Colonel who was standing before him, lose all his comrades in his first mission!

He started to feel ashamed of himself. Slowly lowering his head, he sat there hanging his head low and unable to utter any more words.

The silence that goes on ever since the shocking revelation was finally broken when Colonel Arias speak up again. "Don't ever make an excuse again. That's what a coward does. It's true that I lose all my comrades in that first mission of mine. But do you know this?"

He paused for a while and observed the soldiers. "Four years after that mission failed, I lead another team and we successfully assassinated that leader. Rather than complaining of your failure, you should make yourself stronger and make sure to succeed next time. That's what a soldier must do!"

For the first time ever, Colonel Arias raised his voice at his team members. He never wanted to mention about that painful past but seeing the discouraged face of his subordinate made him lose his cool! He was always a perfectionist when it comes to the military.

Placing both his hands on the table and glancing around the team members, Colonel Arias continued, "If anyone feels discouraged and scared, I will contact the Headquarters for you and you can return to our country right away. But remember this. You will be branded as a loser and a coward throughout your whole life!"

Captain Yelena instantly rose from her seat when the Colonel was done with his words. "Sir, please calm down. I will make extra efforts so that there won't be any problems." Giving Corporal Allen a quick glance, she continued, "I will make sure that this won't happen again."

Apart from the Colonel, she had the highest standing in that room. Captain Ella had the same rank as her but Captain Yelena was promoted first and that still put her above Ella as per army rule. As such, if anything goes wrong, she should be the one to make amendments.

Hearing out Captain Yelena, Colonel Arias withdrew his hands from the table and stood straight again. "Tomorrow morning, while the other soldiers carry on with their task, I will have a meeting with the two Captains. The meeting is dismissed."

With that said, everyone takes their things and instantly leave the meeting room with only Captain Eleanor staying behind. She quietly stared at the Colonel who was standing in front of the window.

Seeming to be busy with his thoughts, Arias covered his eyes with his left hand and then let out a sighed. He turned around to leave the meeting room but when he suddenly saw Ella who was staring at him quietly, he almost flinched! He didn't know that she was still there.

"Why are you still here? You should take a rest. You will need it for the future." Arias calmly said and sat in his chair which was in front of the table end.

"Are you okay?" She paused when she narrowed her eyes at his uniform because it made her feel awkward. "I mean, are you alright, sir? You seem to be really tired." She deliberately asked him though she knows very well why he looked that way.

The way she addressed him made Arias smiled. She always makes sure to draw the line whenever they were in their uniforms! "What will you do if I say that I'm not okay?" He asked her.

Today was a month since his brother's passing and even though the Colonel was busy the whole day, he never forgets about it, not for even once! He wished to visit his brother's grave and the art galleries where his brother's works were being displayed. But here he was on a mission, for the sake country and the innocent people.

"I can't do much. I'm only a Captain as of now." Ella simply replied though she saw through the pain in his eyes.

"Then what is a Captain still doing here? I'm sure that I already dismissed all the team members." Arias retorted as he forced himself to smile even in the slightest bit.

"Then I'll leave now." Captain Ella simply replied once again. She rose from her seat and she was about to turn her back at him until... Arias holds her hand, hoping to stop her from leaving.

"Ella." He muttered while he was still sitting on the chair. He leaned forward a bit so that he could get a grip of her hand. He lowered his head and pressed his forehead against Ella's hand. He closed his eyes and whispered, "I'm not fine."

At that moment, the friendly and carefree smile which Arias always wore was nowhere to be seen in his face. He resembled a broken-hearted child who needs to be consoled more than anyone.....