Chapter 21：Aftermath

It was the last week of the tour and the last stop was in Brussels. The knockouts had left Amelia and Rob. Lana was disqualified from the competition since she was married to Jordan. Bella was obviously eliminated after a month but she stayed on as Preston's girlfriend. Preston was fired but was serving his notice until the end of the tour. He was hospitalized a couple of more times due to and OD but he still refused to go back to rehab.

Bella was equally hooked but she had brief moments of sanity now and again. Jordan had washed his hands off them both and was trying to get his life back on track. He had a few slip-ups but they were less frequent.

"Yes Mom, I will be home after the weekend," Lana said as she spoke to her Mom on Facetime.

"Which home?" Mrs. Logan asked with slight irritation.

"I-We haven't decided yet," Lana frowned. She would have to speak to Jordan about their living arrangements when they got back home.

"Hmmph...So does that mean you're not coming back to Minnesota? What about school? You're already two weeks behind," she reprimanded her daughter.

"I know-I will catch up okay?" Lana sighed. She avoided calling her mother nowadays because it always ended badly. Mrs. Logan had altercations with her daughter every chance she got and it was beginning to take its toll. When would her mother get over the fact that she was a grown woman and capable of making her own decisions? After all, she was a married woman now wasn't she?

"Don't waste your life for-" Mrs. Logan began to lecture.

"Listen, Mom, I've got to go. Love you bye." Lana slammed her MacBook shut and sighed heavily as she massaged her temples.

Over the weeks she came close to telling him because it became more and more difficult for her to exercise restraint. Especially when he spooned her in nothing but his boxers, what was a girl to do? Maybe it was time for her to stop throwing subtle hits and just seduce him or come out and say it. He was her husband after all wasn't he?

"It's Mom but let's not talk about it okay?" she fluffed her pillow and faced him.

"I'm all in sweets," he said softly, "You know that right?" he stroked her cheek gently with the back of his hand.

"Yes, but-it's nice to hear you finally say it?" she couldn't help but smile.

"Did you ever doubt it? Did I ever give you a reason to-scratch that?" he shook his head and laughed, "Look I don't know how to relationship because I haven't-what I'm trying to say is you make me better. I'm willing to try to be a better man..for you," he pledged.

"Jordan-I want to believe you but-I'm scared.." she revealed, her lips trembling.

"I know baby," he held her head against his chest and stroked her hair, "I'm scared too..I've never done this before and-I'm afraid to hurt you. I would rather die first than to break your heart again," he lamented.

"I don't know if I can trust you with my heart-and yet I still want to be with you," she confessed. Lana had known this all along but she could no longer be in denial. She was in love with Jordan Carter but she wasn't sure how he felt. She knew she was skirting on thin ice by putting her heart on the line, but the heart wants what it wants.

"I've tried to stay away from you-believe me I've tried..but it's like the harder I try the more I'm drawn to you. You keep pulling me in like a magnet... I can't seem to get away from you no matter how hard I try," he turned to look at her, his blue eyes reflecting a stormy sea.

"Maybe we weren't meant to be?" she whispered, her voice breaking.

"Please don't say that?" he held her face, his eyes silently pleading with her.

"It doesn't have to be this hard," she sighed in defeat.

"Then we shouldn't make it hard," he implored, "let's take each day as it comes. I'm willing to try Lana...and for me that's saying a lot."

It was after 2 am and they had just got back from the airport but Jordan felt like they needed to have this talk, sooner rather than later. He didn't want to drag her along blindly, she had a right to know where she stood. If he wasn't certain before he was certain now..he would give this relationship all he had.

"I know..but I don't want to put my heart out there and-"

"I will never hurt you intentionally-or let me put it this way; I apologize in advance and ask for your forgiveness in advance- for anything that I might do or say to hurt you. I'm still new at this so please be patient with me baby? Can you do that for me? For us?" he cajoled.

"Okay..let's give it a try." Their eyes met and his lips tilted up involuntarily.

"Really sweets? You're sure? I'm not going to let you change your mind after this. I know I'm a bit intoxicated- but I will remember this." he laughed softly.

She seemed uncertain and he really didn't want to pressure her into anything but all he knew was that he wanted this girl in his life. He would do anything to keep her, even if it meant him making some drastic lifestyle changes. Maybe then she would be convinced about how serious he was about their relationship.

"Yeah. I'm sure," she nodded, smiling.

Although she wasn't certain of the consequences of her decision-and she knew there would be- she wanted to be with him. Against her better judgment, she agreed to his terms and she hoped that he was as sincere as he looked.

"Thank you, baby..you don't know how much this means to me," Jordan heaved a sigh of relief.

"Just promise me that we will always be honest with each other-no matter how painful," Lana swallowed hard, "Promise?"

"I promise," Jordan replied with sincerity as he leaned forward and molded his lips with hers.