Chapter 30 - The Beautiful Broken Boy.

Lance. 

"Do you have a boyfriend?" 

We are seated in their grand living room. According to him, dinner will be ready soon. Brad left a couple of minutes ago. His father didn't seem to notice, or even care, which is strange to me. 

His question catches me off guard. I know mom said he is okay with me being gay. That she told him but is he really okay with it. Or is it just a façade? Ford is terrified of coming out because of his father. So why is he okay with me but not his son? 

"No, I don't." 

He nods "Your mother told me about it and I just have to say, I don't have any problems with it." 

This is him assuring me that there is no hate towards me. He wants me to go home and let his fiancé know. There is more to this and I don't know what to think. "Uh... thanks." 

He smiles and slaps my shoulder. He seems to do this a lot. "Alright. I will just go freshen up; you can go look for Brad in his room while we wait for dinner." 

He stands up and I watch him walk out of the room. He is under the assumption that I know where his room is. I rush over to his room because I miss him. It has only been a short while since I last saw him but I already miss him. His door is slightly open and I hear his voice, it seems like he is on the phone. I don't mean to eavesdrop but the conversation seems serious. 

"Not right now," he sounds tensed, frustrated. "No, my father is home. We have a guest." he sighs loudly "Why do you always think it is okay to barge in unannounced." he raises his voice in anger. I don't know who he is talking to but it seems like he doesn't want to be talking to whoever it is. I stay stuck on the ground, not moving, just listening like some creep. 

"Fucking hell Lisa, don't do this to me right now. Please," he begs. He sounds desperate. 

There is silence. 

I wait. 

After a couple of seconds, he speaks up again. 

"I swear to God if you show up right now, I will never talk to you again. Just stay away for once in your fucking life," he shouts so loud that my heart races. I have never seen this side of him. He has never been this upset in front of me. I can't hear the other end of the conversation so I don't know what this Lisa has done to him but he is pretty pissed. 

A loud sound comes from his room and I open the door wider to him staring at the wall angrily, my eyes follow him and I see his phone smashed on the ground. His breathing is heavy and for a second it seems like he hasn't even noticed me. 

"Ford," I call his name to snap him out of his trance. 

He doesn't shake, no reaction at all and this has me worried. Carefully walking towards him, he turns his eyes to me and they are red fuming. Why is he so angry? 

"Ford," I call his name again. His eyes twitch visibly "What is wrong," I place my hand on his arm. He freezes in my grip. "Talk to me," I plead desperately. I want him to trust me, open up to me. He doesn't yet, I don't blame him with everything that has happened. 

"You're so beautiful," he reaches for my hand on his. I don't stop him; I don't ever want to stop him from touching me. Even if he doesn't want to accept me. I am his. From the moment I met him right here in this room, even if I didn't know it then. 

"Talk to me,' I repeat. 

"I will never be able to have you all to myself. No matter how much I want to. No one will let me," he pulls me and wraps his arms around me. I have no idea what he is talking about. How do I help him when I don't even know what is wrong? 

"I am yours, even if we can't be together, I will always be yours," I try to convince him. 

He sighs "Even if you lose your family because of me?" 

I nod, still in his arms. I will give up everything for him. That is how strong this love is. That is how much I want him. He is still yet to believe me; he is yet to accept this. 

"I need to tell you something before she gets here." 

I pull away from him slowly watching him "Okay." 

"I don't know why she will just decide to show up unannounced." he completely detaches from me and runs his hands through his hair/ 

"Who?" I stop his fidgeting to get him to talk to me. 

"Lisa, she is a family friend but she and everyone seem to think she is my girlfriend. I don't want you to be caught off guard when she comes. 

Girlfriend? 

My world literally crashes down from just one word. 

He reacted this way because his girlfriend is coming over for dinner. Now the phone conversation makes so much sense. I was foolish to think he is mine alone. He has a girlfriend. 

"What do you mean by her and everyone else?" 

"She's my father's best friends' daughter. We have been friends since we were kids. Somehow they think we will eventually get married." 

Marriage? 

What the fuck? 

They have gone as far as marriage? 

John wants him with this Lisa girl. 

Who am I to come in between? 

"Do you want to get married to her?" it is a stupid question. I knew as soon as I uttered the words. From his reaction, I know he doesn't want this. What I can't understand is why he has let things get this far. Why he is accepting all this push around. This is his life and no one can tell him how to live it. He has the right to decide who he wants to date. He has the right to choose who he wants to fucking marry. His father is controlling, I know that much from the way he acts around me. He wants to hook me, make sure I don't become a problem for his relationship with my mom. I have never seen any hostility between them but from the way Ford is, I can tell there is more to it. 

"Lisa is the only one that wants that." 

Lisa, Lisa, Lisa. I have never hated a name as much as I hate the name Lisa now. I don't even know her but she is my worst enemy. 

"Why can't you just make things clear between everyone. It can't be that hard," I don't mean to sound harsh but that is how I come off. 

This man in front of me is not the person he is to everyone else and I hate it so much. If his father could see half of what I see when I am with him, things wouldn't be the way they are. 

"It's not that easy." 

"You need to be more outspoken. Tell your father to go fuck himself." 

He laughs, I grab his hands in mine "You're different from me. You don't care about anything." 

He doesn't intend to hurt me but his words sting. He seems to think I don't care about anything. Yeah, I might act like I am nonchalant about a lot but when something or someone is important to me. I do care. 

"I care about you?" 

He smiles "I know, that is not what I meant. You are just so brave. No matter the consequence, you say your mind." 

"You can be the same." 

He scoffs "What is the point when you end up losing?" 

"Losing doesn't mean it has to be over. You just have to keep fighting until you succeed, until you win." 

He looks away from me. 

I pull his face until he is looking at me again "Call things off with Lisa. Tell her the truth." 

"Nothing is even going on between us. There is no relationship. She knows but she doesn't want to accept it." 

This girl sounds crazy. 

Who forces themselves on someone else? 

"Tell your dad the truth." 

He furrows his brows "What truth?" 

"That you're gay." 

He shakes his head immediately. There is fear in his eyes, almost like he can't even fathom it. Eventually, he will have to be honest. He can't keep hiding the truth because it will eat him up until there is nothing left. 

The sooner he gathers the courage, the better. 

"I can't do that." 

"You were going to before you found out about my mom and him," I remind him of the time he brought me over. 

"That was different," 

"What has changed now?" 

"I can't be with you. Then I was ready for the consequences, as long as I could have you in the end." 

I take a deep breath from his words. Something is wrong with Ford, and I don't have any inclination. He is not going to open up to me. 

There is something broken about him and I can't get through to him.