Chapter 32 - The Best Friend Interrogation

Lance. 

"He has a girlfriend?" 

I nod. 

Jack wants me to keep thinking about Ford. He hasn't been able to shut up about it. I told him everything that happened with so many regrets. I should've just kept it to myself because there is no point. When nothing can be done, you have to give up. This is me giving up on my lost love. 

He didn't even call me after deserting me. 

I guess he doesn't care enough. 

"Where are you going?" Jack asked as I grab a pair of jeans from a drawer in my room. 

"Out." I shrug. 

He stands up until he is behind me but I choose to ignore him. If he knows who I am going with, he will not approve. I don't know why he doesn't approve of my friendship with Patrick. Being with Patrick helps me forget Ford. I need someone that won't constantly remind me of him. This is not a date. I don't have any plans of moving on to another guy. 

I am not over Ford. 

"Lemme guess... Patrick." 

It is a rhetorical question. He already knows that I am going out with him but he wants to be an overbearing best friend right now. 

"Yes," I answer him even though he didn't need the answer. 

"Why?" 

"Because I want to." 

He shakes his head and walks away from me "Dude, don't you see what is happening?" 

"What is happening?" 

"That dude has a thing for you and you're blind to it." 

He is exaggerating. I don't think Patrick is gay. He doesn't seem like he is. He is the type of guy that drives girls crazy. Why will he be interested in me? An average guy. 

"So what?" 

"You are still in love with Ford. You can't just do this. I don't support this." he is being stubborn but he is my best friend and I love him in spite of. 

"Ford is unavailable. I can't do anything about that. This is a lot for me and I am tired of it all." 

He sighs "I don't think you should give up. Fuck the 'rents. This is about you and him. No one else should matter." 

"He doesn't know what he wants. I can't keep on clinging unto him when he doesn't want me." 

He rolls his eyes "You know he wants you. Stop lying to yourself. This is hard and you are just being lazy." 

He has no idea what he is talking about. This is not about me being lazy. This is about me giving him the chance to decide. I told him everything I needed to the last time I saw him. Now I am giving him space. If he really loves me, then he should be the one fighting." 

Jack seems to think I am moving on from Ford. That is the opposite, actually. I am giving him a chance to realize that he could lose me. Once he comes to his senses, he will find out that he needs me in his life. He will gather up the strength and courage to fight for what he wants. That is the only thing I can do, watch and wait for him to be brave enough. Right now, he is still living in fear and our relationship cannot strive if there is still fear in his heart. Firstly, we are two men. The world will judge us, people will hate us. I don't want to be ashamed of what we have because loving him is the proudest I have ever been. 

Patrick is a nice guy. 

He is a good distraction but he is not Ford. 

He will never be Ford. 

"I want to meet this Patrick guy." 

I chuckle as I finish getting ready "You can if you want to. He lives on the next floor." 

"You don't even know what number. What if he is a psychopath and he just plans to wear your skin as a coat?" 

"Really dude. You watch too many movies." 

He is obviously messing around "Should I ask to go see him at his place? Would it seem weird?" 

He laughs "From that reaction, I can tell you have doubts too." 

I shake my head "No, I just want to make sure he actually lives in the building. I mean, there is no harm, right?" 

"What time are you supposed to meet him?" 

"In a couple of minutes. We're supposed to meet by his motorcycle in the parking lot." 

"He rides a motorcycle?" 

I nod. 

"You ever been on his motorcycle?" 

I nod again. 

"Dude, do you know how dangerous that is. This is the same guy you got high with," he reminds me. 

"You're going off point." 

He sighs "I am worried about you." 

I furrow my brows "Why?" 

I genuinely want to know why he thinks Patrick is a bad idea. This is a good thing for me. I am like this anti-social butterfly and someone is bringing me out of my shell. He should be the opposite of worried. 

"You are trying to overcompensate. Somehow you want to forget about Ford and you are using Patrick." 

"That's not what I am doing. I am not trying to forget him. I can't forget him even if I wanted to. He will always be there. Have you forgotten that his father is getting married to mom?��� 

"I know, I just think you should just start trusting this new guy when you don't know anything about him." 

"I didn't say I trust him. He is just a random person. This is a platonic friendship. You have nothing to worry about." I tried to give him a little bit of assurance. That is all I can do to let him no, that this is nothing to worry about. 

"Text him, find out if he actually lives in the building." 

I nod and shoot him a quick text. 

He replies instantly. 

*Sure. Apartment building 10B. 

"See, he is not lying," I show him the phone and he rolls his eyes almost like he still has doubts. 

"I'm coming with you." I put on my sneakers and take one last look in the mirror. Today is a good day for my hair. It is doing what it is supposed to. My clothes are not rough, my shoe is a little worn out but these are my sneakers. I love wearing them, even though they should be in the trash. 

Jack follows me as we climb the stairs till we get into his floor. We look at the numbers on the doors until we see his "Don't say anything stupid," I warn him. 

He chuckles. 

I glare at him "What could I even say, hey Patrick the stoner. Hope you are not some kind of stalker psycho." 

The door opens before we even have a chance to knock and Patrick watches us with a curious expression. I open my eyes wide form the shock of being caught "I hate to break it to you but my stalker days are over," he is obviously joking from the smile on his face but I can't help but be embarrassed. 

"I am so sorry about him," I point to jack who just raises his brow. "He is a work in progress...actually scratch that, he is just a lot of work." 

Patrick laughs. 

My heart skips a beat. 

"It's fine, i sense a lot possessiveness coming from you. You must be the best friend," he stretches his hand out. I notice a tattoo on his wrist. It is a tree, very tiny with no leaves on the branches. He has a lot of tattoos but this one stands out to me. Somehow, I can relate to it, the feeling of loneliness, being empty. 

"How come I have never seen you around?" Jack inquires. 

"I work a lot of odd hours." he shrugs like he doesn't mind the questions. "Come in. To make sure I am not the stalker you think I am." he moves back and creates space for us to enter his house. 

I don't know what I am expecting from him but what I see is definitely not it. His house is very neat, the furniture is matched and neat, there are painting on his walls. Like the kind of paintings, you'd see in a museum. Does he live alone? How old is he? 

So many questions that I didn't even have before I got here run through my mind. Jack raises a brow at me as we are urged to sit down "I don't bite," Patrick winks as he sits down on the couch next to me. 

"Your house is pretty," I blurt like the fool I am. 

"How old are you?" Jack asks immediately. 

He was thinking about the exact same thing as me. That is why we are best friends. We have this thing that twins have, what's it called again. The twin telepathy thing. I think. The only difference between us at this moment is that he doesn't like Patrick and I do. 

"I am eighteen," he answers. 

He is older than us, by a year. That is not so bad. I mean there is nothing wrong with this. We are just friends. 

Patrick smiles and I like how he is able to handle Jack.