Chapter 36 - Hangover And Kisses.

Ford. 

Another day, another hangover. 

This is not a new feeling for me. 

I have hangovers on a regular. 

The rays from the sun hit my eyes and I feel the headache as it pulls its way out. "Fuck," I cry out as I sit on the bed. Opening my eyes, I look around the room and it is too fucking familiar. 

The tiny bed, the little window just above it. Shit, try to move but there is someone lying down next to me, I know who it is. This is Lance's room. This is his apartment. 

What the fuck am I doing here?

"You don't have to stop breathing," he mutters and turns to look at me. 

I didn't realise I was even holding my breath. I manage to sit up and he watches me intently "Sorry," 

He shakes his head "You don't have to apologise, are you feeling okay?" he questions worriedly. 

I nod.

I don't know what happened last night but I ended up with him. I hope I didn't say or do anything stupid. I pull the covers over me and the chill of the room hits me, making me realise how unclothed I am. Why am I naked? 

"They smelled of alcohol," he explains. 

Did I say that out loud? 

I run my hands through my hair and he smiles, slowly getting off the bed. He is dressed in basketball shorts and a white shirt. he stands in front of me and I wait for him to say something. I don't have any words at this moment because this is the most embarrassed, I have ever been. 

I never wanted Lance to see me like this.

''Are you hungry?'' 

I shake my head because my stomach is feeling very queasy. This is how it usually is, first I wake up with a splitting headache and then I throw up all the memories from the night before. This is not my first rodeo. 

''Do you have an aspirin?''

First, I need to take care of the headache and drink a lot of water. He nods ''I will go get it,'' I watch him walk out of the room and use this opportunity to get up from the bed. I am dressed in my underwear. I have no idea where my clothes are but I don't think it is a good idea being here. Things with us are awkward right now. I haven't had the nerves to call him after my cowardice behaviour at dinner. I still kick my self in the head for being so stupid and selfish. Deep down I wanted to take him home. I didn't want to be with Lisa. There was a look she gave me that night. A raised brow, almost like she could see something and that made me panic. I panicked and let him down. 

I couldn't reach out to him. 

I was so ashamed of myself. 

At that moment, it looked like I chose her. 

It looked like I was making a statement. 

he walks back into the room with a bottle of water and the aspirin ''Here you go,'' he places it on the table next to his bed. I take the pills and swallow it down with the water and he smiles faintly ''You need to drink the whole bottle.''

I nod. 

He keeps the smile on his face. 

''Thanks for this. I don't know what happened yesterday.'' 

''Does it happen a lot?''

I furrow my brows ''Does what happen a lot?'' 

I don't know what he is implying but I already don't like it. I don't like it one bit. 

''Passing out drunk outside bars,'' he is accusing and I don't like his tone. I don't need to be judged right now. 

''I don't know what you are talking about,'' I look around the room before turning back to him ''I need my clothes.'' 

He shakes his head and moves closer to me ''I don't mean anything by my question. I am just worried about you. That is why I asked.''

I frown ''You don't have to worry about me. I appreciate you doing this for me but I am not your problem. You don't have to treat me like a lost cause.''

I am already getting defensive. The fact that he witnessed me at my weakest and most vulnerable state Is making me overreact. I just want to spend some time with him at this moment, considering the fact that it seems like he has forgiven me for the dinner. The stupid pride and fear in me are making me act like a fucking fool.

''That's not what I was doing, please don't go,'' he grabs my arm gently and I sigh out loud from just one touch. He is touching me and it is doing things to me that no one's touch should. i close my eyes because I want to revel in this contact. Every day that I get a chance to be in his grasp is a blessing to me. 

''Stay, I want you to stay with me.'' He grips my arm tighter and the electricity surges through. 

I am scared to look at him, I don't know the kind of expression that will be plastered to his face right now. Is this affecting him the same way it is me? Is he getting turned on from one measly touch?

''We are not on good terms right now,'' I blurt like the utter fool I am with my eyes still closed. 

He giggles, I am not kidding. He actually giggles. It is the cutest sound I have ever heard. How can one person be this appealing? 

''Do you want to be on good terms?'' 

I open my eyes at his question and his eyes are dark as he stares at me lustfully. He is feeling the same way as me. Now I can see it. He inches even closer and I don't pull back. I just want to put this moment on pause, maybe it can last even longer. 

''I hurt you,'' I suck in air. 

He smiles ''Yes you did but I missed you more than I was mad at you.'' He moves even closer. At this point, our bodies become pressed against each other. Him in his shirt and shorts and me in just my boxers. I feel all of his heat on my bare skin and I want more. I crave more than I am getting. 

''I missed you too,'' I manage in between the heavy breathing and the psychoanalysis. 

His smile brightens, every smile I get from lance makes me content. I will live a happy life knowing he always has a smile on his face. It will be a plus if I am the one that can put the smiles on his face. I just want him to be happy, I don't want to see him hurt or sad. He became my utmost priority the moment I met him. 

I live and breathe for him. 

''I miss kissing you,'' he reveals with a husky breath. 

My heart races against my chest at the thought of having his lips on mine again. Kissing Lance is better than everything, it is better than drinking. 

''We can't do that,'' my stupid sense of reasoning comes out with full force. He is still pressed against me. 

''Because we can't be together,'' he affirms. 

I nod. 

''You can't be with me, but I will not take your refusal. I won't accept your decision. I will kiss you right now if you don't want me to, push me away. Tell me no.''

He doesn't wait for a response; I feel his lips on mine with so much force that I am caught off guard. He is playing smart with me and it is working. I can't resist him and he knows it. He pushes me to the bed roughly and I submit to him wholeheartedly because I am a weak, weak man for Lance. he pulls away from me and watches me with heavy eyes ''Tell me no. Push me off,'' he urges me with the sultriest voice I have ever heard. 

He is being unfair. 

I want him so bad. 

There is no way I can look him in the eyes and say no to him right now. I will succumb to whatever he asks me at this moment. Slowly, he places both of his legs in between mine and straddles me. I grab his waist as this is the only way I can control this. a smile sprawls on his face and he is satisfied, he knows he has won this round. With a hasty movement, he kisses me again, this time grinding into me with all his strength. I feel him hard against me and this ignites the fire within me. I don't know what his mission is today but he has succeeded. Our lips move together in sync as he slides his hands over my rock-hard abs. 

''Stop me,'' he speaks softly in between kisses with that sexy voice of his, how does he expect me to do what he is asking when he is kissing me the way he is? 

My focus is not on his words but the movement of his body. I reach for the ends of his shirt and pull it over his head. I want to feel his skin on me. He moans into my mouth as I kiss him even deeper. There is no stopping me, I have lost all self-control and he is to blame. 

Whatever happens today.

It's on him.