Chapter 46 - You Are All I Need.

Ford. 

It takes us approximately an hour to get to the restaurant. I picked this place knowing I won't see anyone I know. This is the whole point of a secret relationship. We have to be discreet, and going a town away from our houses is the best way to be discreet. 

Lance has this look of excitement in his eyes. 

I like that I still give him butterflies. I like that I am the only one that makes him this happy. My mood wasn't the best when I got to him. I had to handle Lisa and all her cruel words. i don't know why I am being forced to be with her.

It wasn't easy. 

***************************

''Are you really kicking me out of your house?'' 

I nod and grab her arm, all the anger in me is overwhelming. I can't believe she would use such a word. It makes my skin crawl from irritation. 

''I have somewhere to be,'' I stop in front of the house and let go of her arm. Her eyes are wide from the shock of my reaction. 

''How can you treat me this way?'' she asks me in disbelief. 

I shrug ''You just called Lance such a hateful name and you expect me to be all smiles with you. How dare you?'' 

She laughs ''This is about your step brother?''

I nod. 

''You are kicking me out of your house because of a boy you just fucking met.'' Her voice is loud, she sounds pissed. 

''Yes, he is a better person than you.''

She shakes her head and for a second, I think she is going to continue her fit of rage, but she reaches for me and grabs my arm gently ''I'm sorry.'' She manages. 

''Why are you sorry?'' 

She sighs ''I shouldn't have called him a faggot. I just don't want him to make you one.'' 

My heart stops in my chest at her words. How the hell can she even think that? No one makes anyone gay. 

You don't just turn gay. 

It is not a fucking choice. 

''You still don't know what you're saying.'' I shake my head because I can't my head around what she is saying. 

''I love you, Brad. I don't know when you will give me a chance to prove it to you. Why are you being so difficult with me?''

''I don't love you. I never loved you. You are like a sister to me. That night was a mistake. When will you accept it?''

''We are meant to be together. Everyone sees it, why won't you?''

Everyone sees it. 

Everyone sees it but me. 

Am I not supposed to feel it?

Suddenly, it is everything everyone wants that is good for me. 

I force her grip off me and she sighs as she watches me, waiting for a response. I don't have anything to say to her because no matter what I say, she won't listen. I have told her numerous times; I can't be with her. I don't fucking love her but as long as everyone thinks we should be together, then we need to be together. 

''I need you to leave.''

She frowns ''I will never be good enough for you,'' her words sting because that is not what it is about but if that will make her leave then I will agree in silence. 

I can't handle her right now, especially when I need to be with Lance. 

***************************

''Wow, Yakuza Sushi? I have never been here before,'' he exclaims excitedly. 

I smile because this is the reaction I wanted when I thought of this place. Lance loves sushi, bringing him to a sushi place where the chef makes everything in front of us is his dream. Oh well maybe no his dream, but he will love it. 

''God, this is probably going to cost a lot. Are you sure we can afford this?'' he asks me as we walk into the building. The walls are a bright beige colour with red wallpapers. There are dragon statues all over the place. It is the kind of place you use for a proposal. 

I already think about years with him. I think about anniversaries and proposals. Adopting a ton of kids. I think about all that we can be if we are allowed. 

Crazy that just a couple of months ago, I almost lost the chance for this. thinking about those times, I am glad I met him at that party. I am glad I didn't follow through with all the negativity in my head. 

''That's all father dear is useful for,'' I wave my wallet in the air and he laughs out loud covering his mouth as he does. 

I grab his hand in mine as the concierge leads us to the private room I reserved for the evening. This is the best way we can get the privacy we need. I don't mind being out in the open but I still want the privacy with him. 

''Will you ever tell me why there is so much hostility between the two of you,'' he asks as we take out sits on a high stool step. It is just a simple question but I am scared to tell him about the real reasons why I don't have a good relationship with the man. 

''Maybe.''

He smiles and holds my arms with a soft squeeze ''You know you can trust me, right?'' 

I nod. 

There is no doubt in my mind about that. Me keeping this from him is not about trust. Lance has this innocence about him, he thinks the world is straightforward. Roses and butterflies. He hasn't seen life and I don't want to take that innocence from him. I don't want to be the one responsible for that. Telling him some things about me will take all the innocence that I love about him.

''I trust you. I trust you with my whole heart.'' 

That is the honest truth.

He believes me. that is how much I know he trusts me. Lance has given all of himself to me. from the beginning, I could see it in the way he looked at me.

''Okay, I will give you time,'' he winks and I lean forward for a kiss. 

The chef comes in through a door in front of us and welcomes us with a smile. Lance claps his hands together excitedly as we place our orders and watch him make it in front of us. 

''This is awesome,'' he exclaims as the chef does some stunts with his knives. It is actually a nice sight. Watching them make the food, you can see how skilful they are and you end up appreciating the meal more. 

Once our food is placed in front of us, a waiter brings a bottle of chardonnay and one bottle of water. Lance looks at me with a worried expression on his face. I already know why, before he says anything. He doesn't want me to drink. 

''I got it for you.''

He shakes his head ''I don't want alcohol,'' he rolls his eyes. 

I smile because I didn't have any intentions of drinking. I just want him to have a good time tonight and alcohol helps take the edge off. I already promised myself that I was going to hold off on alcohol for a while. My father's threats can't be taken lightly. 

He means everything he says. 

If he threatens to send me away, he will. 

''Not a fan?'' 

He shakes his head ''Never been. Maybe if Jack was here, he would jump at the chance to get free booze.''

I watch him struggle with his chopsticks in an attempt to pick a sushi roll. ''You said you are obsessed with sushi; how do you not know how to use chopsticks?'' I ask him amused. 

He shrugs ''I always just use my hands,'' he drops the sticks on his plate and waves his fingers in my face. I use this as an opportunity to grab his hand in mine. 

''You can just use your hands; we are alone here.'' I remind him. 

He nods and uses his right hand to pick one. I watch him, fixated on his lips as the roll goes into his mouth and he starts chewing. He closes his eyes, totally in the zone. Just from this night, I now know that he is a foodie. I have never seen anyone eat the way he is eating right now. It is almost like he is savouring the food. 

Desire fills my eyes as I watch him, not able to focus on my food. He opens his eyes and catches my stare. The expression on his face changes, almost lust-filled. 

''You're not eating,'' he points out. 

I nod. 

I haven't even touched the food on my plate. I don't mention that I hate sushi, I don't mention that the smell of fish nauseates me. I am only here to please him.. watching the satisfaction on his face is all I need.