Chapter 50 - No Harm, No Foul.

Ford. 

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. 

The look on his face.

The disappointment in his eyes. 

I never want to see that again. 

Who would've thought that I would meet someone from my school and basketball team? Fucking hell, I thought this date would begin and end smoothly. Everything was going perfectly and then Nate just had to show up and mess things up. You have no idea how badly I wanted to introduce him as my boyfriend.

That is all I wanted to do. the words were at the tip of my tongue but I knew I couldn't do it. We have to keep this a secret. That was the arrangement, I am not doing this anymore because of the fear of coming out. I am doing this because I don't want to lose him. the minute everything is out there, I will lose him. there is no doubt in my mind that my dad will make sure I never get to see him again. 

I don't like the look on his face. 

I hate it so much. 

''Oh, seems like you guys are pretty close,'' Nate exclaims and I look at his face, unable to tell if he is being sarcastic or he knows a lot more than he is mentioning. 

His expression is blank. 

There is no suspicion on his face.

''Kinda, we have no choice,'' I shrug nonchalantly. 

Lance remains quiet. He doesn't talk which is so unlike him. I can already tell he is pissed but what does he expect me to do in this situation. How else am I supposed to handle this?

Nate smiles and notices the uninterested expression on Lance's face ''Well it was nice meeting you lance. hopefully, we can catch up some other time. I'm here with my girlfriend.'' He points to a table with a girl seated and I nod. 

''See you later bro,'' he walks away from us and Lance walks over to an empty table without saying a word to me. 

I know he is pissed. 

I hate myself for putting him through this but this is out of my control and he agreed to this. he chose to be in this secret relationship, so he should be able to handle all the curve balls that hit us along the line. 

''Babe,'' I say as I sit down opposite him. 

He raises his hand up ''Don't. let's just get through this breakfast and go home.'' He dismisses me. 

The fact that he says 'get through' stings. Like he has to get through a couple of hours with me. 

I watch him as he stuffs his mouth with the food not even looking at me. I don't have to be a genius to know he is upset but I wish he wouldn't let this derail us. Things are good with us; things have never been better. We had a nice time yesterday. 

He must know by now that I love him. 

''Please let's talk about this?'' I beg him. I don't want to leave things the way they are. 

''There is nothing to talk about. You had to say all the things you said. I agreed to this after all.'' Slowly his lips tilt upwards for a smile ''I am not upset. I promise.'' 

I know he is upset, but he is trying to hide it. Cover his emotions, so I don't worry about it.

''I know you re upset. I am sorry baby.'' 

He shakes his head as he stuffs a slice of bread into his mouth. ''I am not upset with you.'' He repeats. 

''You are.''

He sighs ''I am not. I promise.'' 

I raise a brow because, at this point, I don't know anymore. ''Prove it.'' I declare.

''How?''

I smile ''Take my hand right now. Under this table, if you are not upset with me. that is the only way I will believe you.'' 

He looks around in search of my friend but Nate is busy with his girlfriend. I want him to focus on me. ignore all the disturbances we tried to get away from by coming here. He eyes face me again and the hesitancy is obvious in them. Gradually I feel the warmth of his touch as his he reaches out for me. my heart calms down in my chest from the worry and fear of him being upset and that ruined everything. This simple gesture is enough to make me feel better. It is enough to make everything worth it. Yes, no one can see this, no one knows how this feels but I do. I know that there is a fair amount of pain in his heart this moment but all he wants is to make sure I don't worry about him. there is no wat the introduction as his brother didn't hurt him. it even hurts me to speak those words but for now, we have to endure. 

Endure until we can leave this life behind.

Endure until it is just the two of us and our freedom. 

''I love you, gamer boy,'' I whisper to him. 

No one needs to know but us. 

He is the only one that is important. 

***************************

''The wedding is in a couple of days,'' I mumble quietly. 

He nods. 

We are inside my car in front of his building. The closer the wedding gets the angrier I am of this situation. I just wish something could ruin it. I don't care how bad it is but I hate that this is happening and there is nothing I can do to stop it. 

''We're fine. I had a great time today,'' he grabs my hand in his and squeezes it comfortingly. 

I manage a smile even though I am not in the smiling mood ''About today, I really am sorry that you had to go through that denial. I hate that I put you through it.'' 

He shakes his head ''You did nothing wrong. It just hurts that we can't be you know, together in the eyes of others. Today was a wakeup call.''

He grins. 

''We'll be in the same house soon. At least I'll get to see you every day.'' That is the consolation prize for this whole situation. 

''Yeah,'' he gets down from the car and I drive away from his house. 

Getting home, I see my dad's car in the driveway and a sigh escapes my lips. I really don't want to have to deal with him today. it will be easy to sneak into my room unseen. Unless he is waiting for me by chance. 

Sure enough, he is in the living room when I walk in. Seated in front of the tv, watching the news. He looks up when he sees me and gestures with his hand for me to come closer. 

''Hello dad,'' I greet him. 

He manages a faint smile ''I need to talk to you.'' 

''Okay.''

Usually when he says he wants to talk to me; it is never anything good. Saying he wants to talk to me, is basically him saying he has some orders to give me. the last time we had this kind of talk, he said he was getting married. There was no 'how do you feel about it', 'I want you to meet her', just straight up, I am getting married. 

''I heard you were helping Lance move his things.'' 

I nod because that is a lie and the truth. I helped him for a little while earlier yesterday but there was no unpacking after. 

''How close are the two of you?'' 

I furrow my brows in confusion. 

''What do you mean?'' 

''Your relationship. I never asked. You introduced him as a friend. That was before you even knew him as Mary's son. So how close are you guys?'' 

This question could be a trap. 

I don't know how to answer this but there is no beating around the bush. I have to lie. 

''I met him at school. We aren't that close. We like the same video games?''

He raises a brow, shit. He probably suspects that I don't play video games. Shit, shit, shit. I don't want to be caught right now. If dad is suspicious, he will monitor us and if he monitors us, he will find out everything. 

''I don't want you guys being too close,'' I furrow my brows, he continues ''You know he is gay. I might be okay with him being gay but I don't want you catching that.'' 

This is the second time someone is saying this. first Lisa and now my father. It is almost like they seem to think that being with someone that is a homosexual, means you'll catch the disease. 

I don't get it. 

If I argue with him, he will win. 

I don't want him to win. 

This thing between us is between us. It doesn't involve my father or his mother. I don't have to defend our relationship. I won't let them win. 

''Yes sir, can I leave now?'' 

He shakes his head ''Lisa called me.''

I know nothing good will come from Lisa calling him. she must be the one that put all these thoughts in his head. 

''You need to spend time with her. This is your future wife we are talking about.''

I nod because I am not in the mood to argue or try to talk sense into him. I have tried that so many times. It never works. So there is no point. I will just have him believing I am the obedient son he wishes I am. 

No harm no foul.