Ford.
The pain from the needle is nothing to me. The fact that I am sharing something with him is everything to me. I sneak a glance at him, making sure to avoid the artist and what he is drawing on my skin. I don't want to know until it is complete. I want the surprise, the excitement that comes with it. I feel so alive right now and I want to commemorate this feeling with a memory.
Lance must think I am insane and fuck, maybe I am but I like this insanity over the one I just came out of. He wouldn't understand until I tell him everything, I am going to tell him everything. at least the most important things that he should know.
You see, our relationship is blossoming. We have so many barriers. So many things that could potentially ruin this but I want to look at the glass half full. I have a boyfriend—whom I love with all my heart and he loves me back. Even though we have to be a secret and we can't express how we feel about each other, we still feel the love. We still know how we feel. I have been a major jerk to him but he still stuck by me. slowly, he is showing me that he is not messing around—he is in this for real and I need to show him that I feel the same.
All his worries are for a good cause. he wants to make sure I am okay. I am okay. This is all normal for me but he doesn't know that. He won't know until I tell him and I am going to tell him. not today though. I am over my mood. Things are looking brighter.
Things are better.
At least I want to be happy for a while without ruining it.
''Come here,'' I stretch my free hand to him and he walks over to my side, grabbing my hand in the process. There is a cheesy smile on his face—my favourite smile from him. All the fear that was in his eyes have vanished. Probably from the alcohol.
The tattoo artist looks up at us as I pull Lance even closer and press my lips to his for a kiss my eyes not wavering from my boyfriend. When I am out in public, in places that no one knows me, I can be myself. I can be who I want to be without worrying about judgement and hate. I don't care about Bill or Evelyn—the lady by the counter. They can judge me all they want and I still wouldn't give a shit.
''Tattoo makes so much more sense now,'' Bill mutters after we pull apart from each other.
Lance groans ''Hey, don't give him hints.''
He warns Bill, who just laughs at us. That is the kind of person my boyfriend is. This is a man that was a brick wall when we came in. Now, he is all smiles and talks. Lance opened him up to us. He is the guy that everyone loves. It is easy for him to make friends, find love. He is an amazing person and I am so fucking lucky to have him in my life. I wouldn't do anything to risk that.
Once my tattoo is complete, bill wraps it up so I wouldn't be able to see it and I stand up from the chair and lance goes on it. There is a stool next to the chair so I sit on it as he squeezes my hand ''I am so scared,'' he giggles obviously already drunk.
There is a smile on his face as bill walks back to us with a napkin on his shoulder ''What did you decide?'' he directs the question at me.
I smile because I knew the minute, I asked him to get a tattoo with me. ''Can I steal you away from him?''
He nods with the same smile on his face. lance raises a brow as he watches us ''I can't say it here.''
He nods in understanding.
Bill walks over to a corner ''So I don't have a picture of what I want, it might not make any sense.''
He smiles ''What do you have in mind. my imagination is good.''
I nod ''So, I want you to draw a burglar, like the ones in old cartoons with the black masks, striped shirts and all.''
He chuckles, I continue ''and then you know how they always have a bag of money?'' he nods ''Well we are going to swap that for a pair of boxers.''
He furrows his brows in confusion. You see, in my head, it is all mapped out. The perfect tattoo. Lance will know what it is once he sees it. It is an inside joke.
''Are you sure about this?'' he questions with doubt.
I nod ''Can you do it?''
Moving his head up and down he replies ''Oh, I can do it but will your boyfriend appreciate it?'' he is worried about Lance's reaction but all I can pick from his comment is the fact that he called him my boyfriend.
Fuck, I have a boyfriend.
A smile crawls up to my face ''Yes, he will. It is an inside thing.''
''Then I think it is perfect.''
We walk back to the sling chair and lance is on the phone ''Oh, we are getting tattoos.'' He tells the person on the other end of the line.
I stiffen in hopes that he didn't just drunk dial his mother. ''Who is that?'' I ask with worry.
He smiles ''Patrick.''
Jealousy seeps through from just his name. I still hate that guy but I don't want to focus on hate right now. I am on love island and I don't plan on getting off it anytime soon. You see, my father and his mother will be gone for two weeks. We have this time to ourselves. I have to use this opportunity to get closer to him. only God knows when we will have another moment like this.
''I gotta go. It is my turn. Wish me luck.'' He ends the call and I sit down next to me.
''I am scared. You have this gleam in your eyes. Almost like you chose something crazy.''
I chuckle. I don't think my choice is crazy. Maybe a lot funnier but definitely not the kind you will regret. It is sentimental and I am so sure he will appreciate it, which will make the risk of getting tattoos worth it.
''I promise you will like it.''
He smiles and rests his back on the chair. ''Where do you want it?'' Bill asks him.
Lance shrugs ''I don't know, should I just get it in the same place?'' he asks me. I mean, it will be nice to have our tattoos in the same place, so why not?
''Sure baby.''
Bill starts the outline of the drawing and lance winces as he grabs my hand from the pain that it brings. I am used to pain; my baby is fragile. I wish I could take all the pain from him right now.
''You good?''
He nods ''It fucking hurts.''
I squeeze his hand as a tear slides from his eyes. Slowly I reach for him and wipe it off. Starting to regret forcing him to do this. maybe this is not such a good idea. I don't like to cause him pain and he is in a lot of pain right now.
''I'm sorry,'' I apologise.
He looks up at me as he still manages to smile ''For what?''
''Maybe this is not such a good idea. You are in a lot of pain.''
He frowns ''I am not a wuss. I can handle the pain. Ignore me please,'' he assures me.
I smile ''You know, you never cease to amaze me.''
He nods his eyes getting dreamy. He is totally drunk right now ''Remember that when you decide you don't want me anymore.''
I frown because he is being ludicrous right now. I will never not want him, even when he is done with me. even when he can't handle me and all the toxicity that comes with me.
''You are not going anywhere. Never.''
The sternness in my voice is surprising even to me. it is almost like a warning to him. a disclaimer to the fact that he is stuck with me for the rest of his life. I don't even want to imagine my life without him. I don't want to imagine a day when I won't get to see his pretty face.
''I love you,'' he smiles as he leans forward and kisses me softly.
I look over to bill, for a reaction. Maybe disgust, irritation, I don't know. His eyes meet mine and there is a smile on his face. he doesn't seem to care about me and lance. there are people in the world that are accepting. I just wish the people in my family could accept us.
Well, who needs them?