Chapter 74 - Hurtful Words.

Jack. 

The drive to Lance's place is short. Shorter than I hoped it would be. I am slowly losing my mind. 

I don't even know what is going on?

Thinking about him, wishing for more of last night. This is a mental breakdown. Everything has finally caught up to me. that is the only logical explanation for this. 

I don't even like him that way, I am not fucking attracted to him. His beautiful grey eyes that shine under any sort of light, his fair skin, the tattoos all over his arm. The scar under his eye, the one that looks like an arrow that defines his eyes. 

None of that is attractive to me. 

He is just some random guy that has a crush on my best friend. So why do I keep thinking about last night? 

''You are late,'' Lance jumps into the car glaringly. 

How won't I be late? After everything that happened, the kind of night I had. ''What are you daydreaming about,'' I look at my best friend and he is watching me suspiciously. 

''Nothing,'' I start the car and our drive to school. ''How are you guys holding up?'' I ask him, trying to change the topic.

He sighs loudly ''Not so good. I have been walking on eggshells around him and he seems to have noticed.'' 

The moment Lance found out about Ford's disorder. He told me, he asked me for advice, even though I don't even have a clue. Things between them are rocky right now but isn't that how all relationships are? I see the love between them, and I know bipolar disorder is the least of their worries. 

We get to school and Lance nudges me in the shoulder as we walk into the building ''I am coming home with you today. Ford has a big game tomorrow, so practice is gonna run late.'' 

I nod as I try to act normal. Try to stop thinking about Patrick. Lance seems to suspect something. We are best friends, he is bound to read me, just the same way I can read him.

''What is wrong?'' he raises a brow as we walk to our lockers. 

We have the same class this morning, ''Nothing,'' I lie. 

He scoffs ''You know you have to do better than that. something is wrong and its best you tell me before I find out.'' 

The only thing that is on my mind is Patrick. I made a mistake last night and I am going to have to live through it. I can't tell Lance though; I can't tell him because he is involved with the guy. At least they are friends, and I don't know how he will feel about it. 

''Dad's back home,'' I decide to go with a lie. 

It is for the best. 

How do I tell him that I might be bisexual? That I had sex with a guy—Patrick last night and I liked it?

''Shit, I wasn't there,'' he realises. 

''Nah, it's fine. He just came back home with a lot of anger and I had to deal with it.'' 

''I'll stay home tonight. We will have a bro's night. Watching movies and playing video games,'' he slings his arm over my shoulder, and I smile because I actually wouldn't mind a night with him. 

''Are you sure Ford will be okay alone?''

He rolls his eyes ''He has to get used to the fact that I will choose you over him sometimes.'' 

I chuckle because he is being a drama queen as usual ''Do you have another spare key?'' I ask him.

He raises a brow as we walk to our first-class ''I lost the other one yesterday.'' 

''Oh, I think I can get mom's own for you. I mean she doesn't need it anyway.'' He concludes and I smile, grateful to have him in my life. 

Things have never been easy but somehow the heavens sent Lance and his family to my life. They made life worth living. 

*****************

After school ends, we get to my car ''Let me just call Ford,'' he explains. 

I watch him as he dials the number. After his conversation, he faces me with a smile ''He's just gonna come say goodbye.''

I roll my eyes because they are sickening. I never imagined Lance as the lovey-dovey type. He was never interested in love and he has suddenly become the type to want to give his boyfriend a goodbye kiss. 

Ford comes running over, in his basketball uniform. He waves to me but his eyes are focused on his boyfriend. Till now, the look he has on his face whenever he sees him baffles me. 

I can feel the love radiate from his eyes, it confuses the hell out of me because I have never felt that way about anyone and I don't think anyone has felt that way about me. 

Ford looks around, the parking lot is full of students, he can't touch him because they are a secret. 

''open the car,'' Lance tells me. 

I press the unlock button and he grabs Ford and pulls him into the car. My windows are not tinted, so it is pretty obvious to see what is going on inside. I walk over to the window, in my own attempt to block them. Lance smiles at me, appreciatingly. 

I don't want to be a creep, but I watch them as they embrace, with an innocent kiss. They are fucking adorable. I don't think there is anyone that loves another the way they do each other.

I watch them as they get down from the car ''Text me when you get home?'' Ford tells him. 

''Yeah, babe.''

With that, he walks back to the direction of his school and we get into the car for our journey home. 

''Do we have any food in the apartment?'' he asks me. 

I shrug because I haven't actually checked the fridge. The only thing I went there for were condoms. Fuck even remembering last night is cringy. How could I steal protection from my best friend and what if he finds out?

I would be so embarrassed. 

''We should stop by the mart. Get stuff for dinner,'' he suggests. 

I shrug again because I am stuck in my head again. Last night was a mistake. I wish it never happened. 

We get to the mini-mart in about thirty minutes and Lance jumps out of the car ''I'll be back,'' he winks at me and I watch him walk into the convenience store. I turn the car off and get down from it, to get some fresh air.

Through the glass of the store, I see Lance as he laughs at something Fred tells him. 

''Hey,'' I freeze afraid to turn around. 

I know it is him instantly. I could recognise the sound of his voice with my eyes closed. What does he want from me?

''Jack,'' he calls my name forcing me to turn around and face him. 

He is dressed in a pair of ripped jeans, different from what he had on earlier. His hair is back to his buzz cut, almost like he cut it today. His shirt is plain and black and his sneakers are grey. His eyes bore into mine as he waits for me to acknowledge me. 

We are not suddenly close, we aren't friends. 

Why does he feel the need to talk to me?

''I found your key,'' he waves the tiny key in the arm. 

I jump forward and grab his hand with the key, afraid that Lance will walk out and find out everything. This is a secret I plan to take to the grave. I will never tell anyone. 

''Dude, can you just stop,'' I beg him desperately as I collect the key from him and let him go. 

He frowns ''What have I done again?''

I slap my forehead dramatically. Conversing with Patrick is frustrating. I can't keep this up. I need to create some sort of boundaries with him. 

''Is this some sort of punishment, for the way I have treated you?'' 

He furrows his brows ''I don't know what you are talking about. I just came to give you your key, the one we searched for earlier.'' 

''You keep bringing up last night. Did something change between us?'' 

''What do you mean?'' 

I sigh ''We hate each other. You seem to have forgotten that crucial detail.''

He shakes his head ''I don't hate you; you hate me,'' he reminds me.

''Yes, I do. I hate that you are a fucking desperate bitch, and you can't see that Lance is happy and doesn't need you all over him.''

I know, I am taking things too far. Maybe if I hit him where it hurts, he will hate me too and leave me the fuck alone. 

''Wow, hint taken.'' 

He takes a step back at the same moment Lance decides to walk up to us ''Patrick,'' he calls him with a wide smile plastered on his face. 

This is a problem.