Chapter 110 - My Beautiful Man

Patrick. 

We get to the hospital and we walk into the reception together. All through he held my hand, I mean it feels great, knowing he is not the kind of person to be all PDA and shit but I know this is bothering him more than he is letting on. Everything is taking a toll on him. I know how it feels, the pain that comes when it all registers in your mind. He will go through it. He was beaten today, by the man that is supposed to protect him. 

We sit on the chairs in the waiting area and I squeeze his hand comfortingly. He manages a faint smile. I can't really see it with all the bruises on his face. For a while, those bruises will be there and I will be reminded of this day. I am going to take him away from this life, I won't let him suffer. I know right now, he is still wary because this thing between us is new. He doesn't want to fully depend on me because this is not certain. I am already sure about him, I want to take care of him. Protect him from all the hurt that comes with this life we live. 

''Wait here, let me talk to the nurse,'' he points to the woman by the reception. 

I wish I could be doing everything for him. I don't like that he wants to do this alone but I will be patient with him. He walks to her and she smiles welcoming him. Her face is pretty friendly so I can already tell it would be easy for him. She gives him a form and he walks back to me, for the first time, I see him hold his stomach, almost like it hurts. I don't know what other parts of his body got injured but now I start to think that there might be more bruises on the parts I cant see. 

''So I just gotta fill this form and the doctor will see me,'' he announces as he sits down. 

I am quiet because I am battling a lot internally. This hurts a lot more than I thought it would. It feels like this is happening to me. I am so angry, I want to kill his father. I want him to feel the same pain he inflicted on Jack. How can you see someone so beautiful and perfect and do this much damage on them?

''You good?'' he asks and I notice that he is watching me with worry in his eyes. 

''Yeah, do you need help?'' 

He shakes his head returning the smile. He is still trying to make me feel better. He is hurt and somehow he wants to make sure that I am okay. How did I get so lucky? There is no letting him go—ever. 

We see the doctor and his wounds are treated. The questions they ask vary from how he got the injury, and others. He lies about everything. I don't blame him. For now, he is still underage. The moment he says something, like how this was caused by his father. The doctors will involve CPS. Once child protective services get involved. Things wouldn't be easy for him. The best thing is to lie, pretend like it happened some other way. I just want him to get treated. 

Sure enough, his nose is broken, just like I suspected. We leave the hospital and I drive us back home in his car. Once we get to the parking lot of the apartment. He lets out a long breath of relief. Almost like he has been holding that in all day. 

''Are things going to be weird between us now?'' he asks solemnly. 

I furrow my brows in confusion. ''What do you mean?'' I don't even understand what he is saying. Why will things be weird? 

''I don't want things to change. Can we just go back to a few hours before you found me?'' 

Why would he want me to forget about this? This is a significant step in our relationship. I had my suspicions; when he told me that he didn't want to go home. The moment you avoid your own home. The place that is supposed to be your sanctuary, something is definitely wrong and now that I know, I want to make my home his home. Why would he want me to forget about this when I look at his face and it is a reminder? 

''I don't want to forget,'' I dismiss his request.

''I like us in our bubble. Things are great right now. I don't want things to change.'' He sounds very desperate. I think change isn't always bad. 

''We are getting closer, is there anything wrong with getting closer?'' 

He sighs and then runs his hands through his hair, his beautiful hair. Suddenly red is has become my favourite colour. It looks like this is hard for him. I don't think he has ever shown anyone this vulnerable side of him. Except for lance of course. 

''I don't want you to pity me. I don't need your pity.''

I haven't pitied him once since I saw him. I have had different emotions, anger, and sadness but never once did I feel pity for him. The fact that he still smiles even with all he is going through makes me admire him the more. He is strong and brave. He is fucking perfect. 

''I don't pity you,'' that is the truth. 

He scoffs ''everyone pities me, even Lance.'' 

I shake my head immediately ''I know what you're going through. I have been there. So many times, I wished things were different. I have the scars to prove it.'' I point to the scar on my face. The day my father hit me with an award I got. Used the one thing that gave me joy to bring pain into my life. 

''We don't have to talk about this,''

''I want to talk about this.''

''Why?'' he asks. 

''You are important to me. I can't stand the thought of him hurting you again.'' 

He smiles at my confession ''He is not usually like this, only when I argue with him or aggravate him. Today was a mistake. I usually know how to handle him.''

I used to be like this too. I'd always justify the abuse. One day, I'd say it was an accident. The next, I'd say he didn't mean it. That's usually how it went but I know better now. When someone lays a finger on you. There is no justifying it.

He will get there, I will make sure he gets to that point in his life where he doesn't just accept the abuse straight up. I want him to see that it is not okay and there is better out there. 

''Okay,'' I accept. 

I don't want to overwhelm him with too much. I know that he doesn't trust me one hundred percent but we are getting there. I will get to that point where he can talk to me.

''Just okay?'' he raises a brow in disbelief.

I smile ''let's put a pause on this discussion today. How about that date, can we do that now?''

He shakes his head ''I am not feeling up for going out tonight.'' 

I don't blame him. He looks battered up. 

''We can have it at home. I will get food and desert. We can watch a movie, cuddle up in bed. What do you say?'' I ask him hopeful that he doesn't want to spend the night alone. 

I want to be with him tonight—especially after what he has been through. 

''I'm kinda tired. Maybe some other day?'' 

No, no, I don't want to let him go right now.

''Please, I know I have been quite demanding tonight. Just this last thing. I promise.'' I bat my lashes and this gets a chuckle from him. 

''Can I have a shower at yours?'' 

I nod ''Yeah anything you want.'' 

He laughs again, reaching for me. I grab his hand midair and he closes his eyes, letting out a soft breath. I look at him closely for the first time today. Not seeing the bruises anymore. This doesn't define him, this doesn't make him who he is. Jack is an amazing person. I never thought I would see him like this but he is. Everything about him, from the way he talks to how he cares about the people in his life. 

''You are beautiful,'' I blurt out what is in my head at the moment. 

He opens his eyes and the smile is back on his face ''Even with all this,'' he gestures to the bruises. 

I nod incessantly ''Yes, even with all the bruises. I am so lucky to have you in my life. Thank you for being here.'' 

With Jack, I don't feel lonely anymore. I feel like I finally belong. I didn't think it would be possible but he came into my life and made things brighter, better and happier. 

I am never letting him go.