Chapter 116 - Uncle Maxime

Ford. 

I walk into the house and it feels more like home than my house. I let out a loud breath that I didn't even know I was holding. Growing up, I would always want to spend my days here. Uncle Max was the only one that made me even feel like I was worth anything. He was the only one that understood me. 

I close my eyes and I remember the day of my mother's funeral.

Everywhere is bright. There are people everywhere, everyone is talking and laughing. The fact that they are all acting normal even though someone just died makes me feel even worse. I am under the table of the living room. This has become my best hiding place. Father told me to stay downstairs even though all I want to do is get away from this scene. 

''Where's Brad?'' I hear Uncle Bert's voice. I don't know who he is talking to but I pray no one knows that I am here. I don't want anyone to find me. I just want to wallow in my self-pity. That is how I am feeling, so much anger within me. I hate that we are all gathering here for this situation. I wish I could just crawl into my bed and cry. 

The white tablecloth hanging on the table shifts and my heart beats faster for the fear that I have been found out. The moment the person uncovers, I let of a sigh of relief. The man in view smiles at me, ''Can I join you?'' he asks calmly.

I shrug and he goes on his knees and crawls to my side. Uncle Maxim is old, the surprise that he can still do things like this is obvious on his face ''This is such a great hiding place. Why didn't you tell me you would be here,'' he is obviously just trying to talk to me. Get me to respond to him but I don't feel like talking. Saying real words out loud will make this day more real. I don't want this day to be real so I shrug again. That is all I can give him right now. 

''You know, this is not your fault,'' he whispers so low that I almost think he doesn't want me to hear him but I hear him loud and clear. I don't think it is my fault. Why would he even say that?'' I look at him with wide eyes. ''Your father seems to think you are beating yourself up for this.'' 

I don't know why he would say that. I haven't even thought in that direction. 

''Why would you say that?'' I mutter, the tears falling from my eyes. 

He reaches for me and I don't push him off. This is not his fault, it is dad's fault. I know why he is doing this, he wants this to be my fault. It is not my fault.

''I am not saying it is your fault. I don't want you to even think this is your fault. Your mother wouldn't want that for you.'' He breathes out and I feel the sincerity in his voice. Dad is the one that is feeding them lies. I am not crazy.

''Okay,'' I manage as he wipes the tears from my face. 

A slow smile spreads on his face and I watch him, unsure of why he is even trying to comfort me ''if you ever feel alone and you need someone to talk to, you have me,'' he mutters. 

''What if you die too,'' I look at his grey hair as I breathe out those words. 

''I am not going anywhere kid. Don't even think about it,'' he winks and I believe him. 

''Promise?'' 

He nods and then crosses his finger on his chest ''Promise,'' 

Elliot closes the door and I snap out of my daze. Uncle Max was the only one that wanted to understand me. he was the one that helped me through her death. I am grateful to him and he doesn't even think that he has done anything special. 

''Come on. Granddad has been waiting for you. The eagerness is quite irritating.'' He informs me as we walk further into the house. The house is still as I remembered. I used to get lost in the halls when I was younger, now it doesn't even seem as big as it used to be. 

I follow Elliot up the stairs and he opens a room door ''So, he wanted you close to him. That's why you are in the main quarters and not the guests.'' He drops my bag on the bed and I sit down on the edge of the bed gently. 

''Thanks,'' I manage. 

''You should freshen up,'' he lingers by the door. I shake my head and stand up from the cotton sheets on the bed.

''I want to see him now, can I?''

''Of course.''

We walk to the room in silence and I think of how I am going to do this. I really don't have a plan. I know that I need him but I don't know how I am even going to do this. I want to tell my father about Lance and doing that will mean I need backup. Uncle Maxim is my only backup. 

''Go in, he has been waiting,'' Elliot knocks on the door before walking away from me. 

I turn the handle of the door gently and his smiling face is the first thing I see. Just like when I was a kid. The pure joy in his eyes from seeing me. ''My favourite boy,'' he stands up from the bed and walks over to me slowly. He has aged since the last time I saw him. The hair on his head is now completely grey and the wrinkles on his face are more prominent. He stops in front of me and pulls me into his arms, no questions asked. 

I wrap my arms around him and he pats my back in the process. Getting a hug from Uncle Maxim is the most love I feel from anyone in my family. With just this little contact, I feel better.

He pulls apart from me but the smile is still plastered on his face ''I still can't believe that you are here. This is the best gift I have been giving all year.''

He drags me to the corner of the very large room that has a tiny round table and chairs surrounding it. ''Sit down, sit down.'' He sits on the chair and watches me with this intent stare.

I take a seat opposite and he places his elbow on the table ''You don't look happy. What is wrong?'' he asks immediately.

He is the only one that can usually tell when something is wrong with me. 

''I need your help uncle.''

He smiles ''Anything. Just ask and you shall receive.'' He usually says it like that when I ask him for things. Ask and you shall receive. Whatever you want, I will give you.

I don't know if he can give me this. I don't know if I will get what I want this time because all I want is Lance. He is the only one that is important. What do I even ask for? I have no clue on what I am doing.

''This is not that kind of favour.''

''Okay, is your dad bothering you again?'' 

Yes. 

"No.'' 

''So what is wrong?'' 

I take a deep breath because I don't want to prolong this. I need him to help me because if there is anyone that would understand me. It will be Uncle Maxim. 

''I met someone. A guy, and I am in love with him,'' I finally spill the beans because this is the best way to do this. I look at his face. The expression on his face is confusion mixed with uncertainty. I don't think he understands what I am saying. 

''A boy?'' 

I nod. 

He frowns ''You are a homosexual?'' 

Okay. I expected a little backwardness in his reaction. There is no way he would just smile about something that he doesn't even understand. There is not one single gay person in our family. Or at least, none that are out. What I am doing right now is the biggest risk ever. He might not accept me and then this will be a problem because his acceptance is the only one I want. 

''Yes, uncle.''

In the span of a couple of hours. I have come out of the closet twice and this feels like the biggest weight off my chest. It feels amazing, even though I don't know the outcome of this. I don't care anymore. I am tired of keeping all this to myself. I am ready to be out and fucking proud. 

His eyes stay fixed on mine. I don't know what is going on his head. Does he hate me now? if he hates me I don't know how I will react.. I can't take that.