Chapter 117 - Don't Let Fear Win.

Ford.

We both stare at each other for God knows how long. I am waiting for the reaction. You know, the one where he sends me out of his house with derogatory words. I mean, that is the way my dad will react. I don't want that to happen today but if it does I wouldn't be surprised.

''I don't understand this,'' he breathes out those words finally.

There is confusion on his face. deep down he doesn't accept this but I see the difficulty on his face. he doesn't want to deny me. He doesn't want to show me that this is not something he believes in.

''I am sorry for springing this on you uncle Max. I just need someone on my side,'' I manage with a shaky voice. ?

He furrows his brows ''Does your father know about this?'' he asks the question that anyone in this family would. Father is not the acceptance type. Everyone knows him but no one knows him as much as I do.

''No… at least I don't think he does.''

He frowns ''I really don't know how I feel about this Brad. It is a lot to register.''

I nod ''I know but you said you would always be on my side and I need you now more than ever,'' I remind him of the promise he made.

''I know that, but do you really think John will hate you for this?'' he asks.

I nod again ''He already hates me.''

This is the first time I am telling anyone this. no one in the family knows about my relationship with my dad. Some people might see it but choose to ignore it but I know for a fact that Uncle Maxime doesn't know.

''Your father doesn't hate you,'' he shakes his head in disbelief.

The fact that he can't even accept it just shows how oblivious everyone is. I know for a fact that my dad would've been happy if I died with my mom that day. When he looks at me, he sees someone that will forever disappoint him. there is no pride in his eyes that I am his son and I have accepted it. I am okay with our relationship but I won't let him take Lance away from me. he means the world to me and I will never let that go.

''I didn't come here to convince you. I just need your help right now Uncle.'' I cry the desperation seeping out from my voice. This is my last resort. I don't want to take Lance away from his mother. she is a good person. I see the love she has for her child every time I am around her. I know that Lance will leave it all for her but I don't want that. I don't want him to lose the only family he has left.

It will be selfish of me, so I have to find another way.

I have to make sure that doesn't happen.

''So why did you come here?''

I take a deep breath because this was the plan. I need to tell him everything. I don't know what will come from this but if he was sincere all those years ago and he wants to protect me then he will help me. I want to come out to my dad, I want to tell him about my relationship with Lance but the moment I do that, he will find a way to send me away from Lance. he will lock me up, claim that this is happening because of my disorder. I know that for a fact. So I want someone else to be aware. I want Uncle Maxime to know what is happening. even though Dad acts all high and mighty. He is weak when it comes to his Uncle. His father died too early in his life and this man is the only father figure that he has.

''I told you I met someone.''

He nods and waits for me to continue, so that is what I do ''His new wife's son.''

My eyes remain glued to him, I want him to understand what I am saying, and I want to read his expression as he does. At first, confusion is sprawled on his face. what I am saying doesn't make sense. Right? The fact that this just happened to us. I wish Lance was anyone else. I wish his mom wasn't who she is.

I hate that I have been dealt with all this. it makes everything a million times harder. I don't even know how we will come out of this.

''Ford,'' he whispers my name so low. The disappointment is obvious in the tone of his voice. The last person I would want to disappoint is this man and it seems like that is exactly what I have done. ''You know this is wrong. Why would you do something like that?'' he is scolding me right now and it is not like I expected any less. I knew he wouldn't just accept this with open arms.

''I know. I didn't know until it was too late. I tried to stop it, I tried so hard, but I love him. I love him so much,'' at this point, I can't stop the tears as they fall. I can't do anything because everything is sinking in. all my fears, all my worries. The fact that I could lose Lance is sinking in and it is sending me over the edge.

Uncle Maxime stands up from the chair he is in and walks over to me, he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me closer. I bury my head in his chest because I am falling deeper to the edge. Slowly, the demons are trying to come out but I can't lose myself right now. I need to be strong. Even if it just for today. I need to do this now.

''It is okay,'' he mutters as he pats my back comfortingly.

''No, it's not. He is going to take him away from me when he finds out. I came here to find a way to keep him with me but now I am not sure anymore,'' I cry at this point I am a rambling mess.

''you need to calm down Brad. You need to control your breathing and stop crying,'' he pulls away from me slightly and cups both sides of my face in his hands ''Do not slip right now,'' he warns me. Unlce Maxim knows about my disorder. He is the only one that doesn't treat me like some kind of fragile egg that will break at any moment.

I don't want to break right now. I don't want to be weak in his eyes. I want to stand strong and explain myself. I want to ask him to help me and I want to be in Lance's arms. I miss him so much, it is starting to hurt. It has just been a day and it feels like I am slowly dying. How will I be when I can't even see him anymore? When he takes him away from me?

''This is not a time to breakdown. What did I tell you about blocking all the fears out?''

Don't let them crash into your life and take you down with them. 

His own words and most times, I repeat them in my head.

Don't let fear control you, you are strong, you are brave. 

''It gets harder every day.''

He nods ''It will get even harder. just because life isn't going your way doesn't give you the right to give up on it.''

His words affect me a lot more than he could ever know because there was a time in my life where I was going to give up. A time where I was ready to let go of this world. Now, I have so much to live for. things that I never thought I would need in my life. I don't want to give up anymore, I want to fight. I want to be stronger for him.

I love him.

''Do not let this mess with you. Get back to your senses right now'' he glares at me. he knows what was about to happen. Uncle Maxime has seen me break down before. He knows my meltdowns more than anyone and he also knows how to snap me out of it.

''Okay,'' I manage.

He lets go of my face and walks back to his chair. He looks at me and this time there is a smile on his face. I wait for him to say something but he is quiet. Does he want me to talk first? I don't know what to say. I am still silently praying that he accepts me. I don't know how he feels about everything I just told him. if he doesn't help me then I have no other option. I might end up losing Lance.

''So tell me about this boy,'' he breathes out and for the first time tonight I give him back a genuine smile.