Chapter 132 - The Diary

Lance. 

''This is not Brad,'' I answer immediately, my heart racing with hopes that whoever just called can be of help to me. I know Ford said he went to see an uncle, someone that could help us but he didn't give me the details, so I don't know who the person is. 

''Is he okay, where is he?'' the man on the other end of the line bombards me with questions. 

''Please who am I talking to?'' I ask because I need to know. 

''His granduncle Max, I want to ask…Am I speaking with Lance?'' the man's deep voice travels into my ears. Okay, he knows who I am. He could be the one that can help us. I don't want to be too optimistic because this might be a shot in the glass but at least this is something.

''Yes.''

I sit back on the bed and press the phone into my ear, it stings but I want to hear him as clearly as possible ''Where is Brad. He was supposed to call me when he got back.��'

Okay, this is another hint. He was with the man, he said he went to see someone that could help. This has to be the same person… right?

''I don't know where he is. His father has him locked up somewhere.''

I hear silence on the other end of the line and then the breathing continues ''When did this happen?'' he asks. 

''Today, he was supposed to meet up with me but he never showed up. I came over the house to look for him but his dad said he had a mental breakdown. I know he is lying but I don't have any proof and I don't know where he is.'' I cry because all the emotions that I try to keep steady just keep pouring out whenever I am talking about it. 

''Are you one hundred percent sure about what you are saying?'' the man breathes into the phone. I nod completely forgetting that he can't see me. 

''Yeah,'' I get myself on track. 

''Okay, keep this phone with you. I will call you back.'' The call ends without even waiting for a response. I get up from the bed, putting the phone in my pocket but not before checking the battery to make sure it is fully charged. It is at 20%. Opening the drawer, I check for the charger. If I don't find the charger, and he tries to call back, I don't know what I would do. The drawer is empty, so I start to rummage through his things in search of it. I barely spent any time in time in his room. We spent most of our time together in the apartment. He hates this house, he hates his father. It makes me wonder what kind of childhood he had. It makes me sad because I wish I knew him before. I wish I made his oh so lonely life not so lonely. I would have been his friend. He wouldn't have had to go through all this on his own. He told me one night that Lisa was a friend. That they used to be so close. I don't know how someone that was once a confidant could end up being the person that betrays you. 

I feel like she has something to do with John and my mom finding out. 

Deep down, I know it can't be a coincidence that she just happened to show up out of the blue. I won't even go there because there is no point dwelling on what has happened. I just want to find him. Right now, that is all that matters to me. I walk to the other side of the room and there is a large bookshelf with books. I haven't ever really noticed this because most times when I am here, my only focus is him. I didn't even know he read books. There is a row of books on one of the shelves that a full of children's books. This seems like something from his childhood. 

Why will he keep books?

A book shines out to me in the collection. It is the dullest in the pile, I don't know what makes me grab it but the minute I see the engraving on the book, my curiosity peaks. The words Brad's Diary is written in bold and the word diary is struck and replaced with Journal. I know this is an invasion of his privacy and maybe he doesn't want me to see this but I am so fucking curious. I don't know he would feel if he finds out that I read this but right now, I just need to know. 

I open the book and the first page is a drawing of a boy and a woman. It looks like a kid drew this. That means, he wrote this when he was still a kid. I walk back to the bed and sit down on the floor next to it, completely hidden from anyone that comes into the room. It feels like I am doing something wrong and I have always wanted to know all his demons. He hasn't been one hundred percent open with me. Not like I have any problem with the pace he is going but whatever this book entails could show me more of him. 

I turn the page slowly, as my heart races in my chest. This is a big deal, I have never been able to get into his head. I want to, that closeness that comes with his thoughts. It is all now a possibility. 

The second page is where the words really begin. The handwriting is slobby and very childlike. There is a date on the top of the page. 

Dear diary (Journal)

Mom and dad are fighting again. This time, they aren't hiding it from me. Usually, when they argue, they try to keep it from me but now it is out in the open. 

I wish they would stop fighting. Lisa said I should write down my thoughts. She thinks it will help me feel better. Right now, it doesn't. I am scared that they will get a divorce and I will have to live with dad. He is not the nicest person. When they fight, mom cries. I hate it when she cries. 

I asked her why they are always fighting and she told me that it is normal when you have been married to someone for so long. I don't think she is right. Maybe they don't like each other anymore. Maybe they don't like me anymore. 

I know I am different. Dad says being different is not a good thing. He hates that the only friend I have is Lisa. I need more guy friends, I need to find a sport. I don't like sports and I doubt I ever will. 

Maybe one day. 

I close the book, unsure if I should continue. I searched around for a charger and right now, that is my priority. I don't like the way the journal is starting. This seems like the vulnerable parts of him. I don't think he really wants me to read it. Standing up from the carpeted floors, I walk back to the shelf, in search of the charger. Rummaging through, I don't find it. 

''Shit,'' I run my hands through my hair from the frustration of everything. My eyes shift to the end of the room on the other side, I see the box on the floor. Maybe it could be in there. I don't know. Slowly walking to it, I open it up and sure enough there are a couple of phones and chargers inside. I pick up the smashed phone, remembering the day he smashed it on the wall. I only have one phone, I mean it is the only thing I can afford but Ford has numerous in here. The brand of the phone in my pocket is unknown to me, this is not one of the popular ones. I try to fit them all in until the right one fits into the port. 

''Fuck yeah,'' I exclaim when I find it. 

I grab the journal from the bed and walk out of the room, going into mine. My phone rings and Mom's face blares on the screen. What the fuck does she want?

I decline the call but the minute I do, it rings again. 

''What,'' I shout into the phone. 

She releases a loud sigh before responding ''Come home right now, John said you came over. Why would you accuse him of all the things you did?''

As usual, she is taking his side. 

''What did I accuse him of?''

I want her to tell me. She seems to trust the man she just married over her son of 17 YEARS. So I guess there is nothing more I can say to convince her. 

''He is only trying to protect his son,'' 

I roll my eyes ''He is only trying to protect himself. Why won't he let us see him… or at least know which hospital? Why is it such a secret?''

She pauses. 

See, she doesn't even know what to say. 

''Just come home right now, let's talk,'' she pleads.

''I hate you so much, you have no idea.''

I end the call because the more I stay on the line, the more hurtful things I will say to her. I never thought mom would disappoint me as much as she has right now.. don't know if I can ever forgive her.