Chapter 148 - Abandoned

Ford.

"Uncle max.''

My tone is desperate.

I already know that he is here with bad news. He is not getting me out of here. He is here to tell me that.

"He got to you too,'' I state.

He shakes his head immediately and tries to grab my hands in his. I pull away from him because, from this moment, he will be a traitor to me. I put all my hopes in him. I really believed he was going to get me out of this mess but now, he let my father mislead him.

"I think your father is right. I think he is doing this for your own good,'' he tells me like it even makes any fucking sense.

"Locking me up when I haven't done anything is for my own good?'' I ask him, wanting to know his logic behind this. He said he was going to get me out of this. He was supposed to talk to dad. That was the agreement.

"I know this seems like the end of the world. You know I am always on your side. You know I will always do what is best for you. I want you to continue trusting me.''

His words have no effect on me. "Do you believe him? Do you think I belong here?'' I ask.

He sighs "This is not about believing anybody. I want you to stay here for a week. Be open to getting the help you need. I want to watch your progress myself. Can you do that for me?" his voice is pleading. His eyes are trying to draw me in but I don't even know what I think anymore.

"You think I am sick,'' I settle on those words because that is exactly what he is saying. He thinks there is something wrong with me. he went to my dad and somehow the man convinced him that I am sick.

"No,'' he denies.

"Then why aren't you getting me out of here?'' I stand up from the chair and for just a second, I see him flinch. He tries to hide it but it is too late. He is scared of me. he thinks I am going to hurt him.

"You need to get help, Ford. This will be good for you.'' He announces like he knows something that I don't.

"What did I do that was so wrong? I just wanted Lance. Does that make me sick?'' I shout. It feels like the walls are shaking. I feel like they have crumbled all over me and shattered me into pieces.

They want me to stay here indefinitely just because I love someone. How is that even fair? Why do I deserve this kind of punishment? I think talking about this is now a waste of time. There is nothing I can say that will make him change his mind. He has already made up his mind.

"That is not what this is about son. You know I will only do what is best for you."

I look at him, unsure of what else to say. I don't even know how Lance is going to take this. he thinks Uncle Max is the hero. The person that will help us through this but now, it seems like there is no hope again. I am stuck here until my father thinks I have stayed long enough.

"So, this is best for me. locking me up because I am gay.''

He sighs "That is not why you are in here.''

"Why am I in here?''

He looks away from me.

I look away too. Waiting for his response is exhausting. I can't just sit here and let him tell me that there is something wrong with me when I know I am fine. I know that this is all a plot against me for my father to continue controlling me. I just can't convince him. there is nothing more to say to him.

"You have to trust me. can you do that?''

I keep my eyes away from him. He can't give me a reason. There is no point in continuing this conversation.

"Just a week. I will be speaking to your doctors all through. I won't stop checking up on you.'' He assures me but it is of no help to me.

"Okay,'' I blurt out uninterested in this anymore.

We stay in the room for a couple of minutes, in complete silence. I want him to leave because there is nothing more to say. "I will always be on your side,'' he says as he stands up and walks out of the room. I stay on the chair even after the door closes with a loud thud. I am completely dumbfounded by this moment. I have no words to express how I am feeling. The numbness that I tried to put away comes storming in. the demons shouting to me, telling me they told me so. It all completely devours me and there is nothing I can do to feel better.

I feel nothing.

"Come on,'' I feel the hand on my shoulder. I didn't even know anyone was in here. Looking up, I see Manuel. The guy that is supposed to be Lance's friend's cousin. This is like the third time I have noticed him. Why am I seeing him a lot today? I don't want to see anyone. I just want to be alone. That is what I deserve.

"Can I just stay here?''

He shakes his head, the pity in his eyes "you know I can't leave you here. You should get to bed. It is pretty late.'' He mutters calmly.

I stand up from the chair and he leads me back to my room "You know, people here are not the monsters you think.'' He says once I am in bed and under the covers. I rest my back on the mattress until I am looking up at the ceiling. The plain beige walls taunting me. telling me that this is my new home. I might not get to lie down next to Lance. Hold him in my arms. Kiss him.

What if he moves on?

Falls in love with someone else?

The thoughts run through my mind.

They will eat me up until there is nothing left inside of me.

Until I am nothing.

***************************

Maxime. 

"I won't be coming home yet,''

"Why sir,'' Phillip my assistant asks through the phone.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I didn't expect to feel so defeated. I still feel that way, knowing I can't help the kid—or rather, this is the only way he can get the help he needs. If I take him out of the hospital, he might just end up hurting himself.

"I need to stay for Ford. He needs me here for now. Once I make sure he is okay, I will come back home.''

He sighs into the phone "Do you need me with you, sir. I can take the next flight.''

Phillip does everything for me, "No, It should be a week at least. Once I am sure he is okay. I will be right back.''

"Okay, sir."

I end the call and look out the window of the car. His face when I left, it makes me feel even worse but there is actually nothing I can do or say to convince him that this is for his own good. The video john showed me, opened my eyes. I couldn't believe what I saw. In my mind, I thought it could be doctored. He wanted me to see what he saw and what he saw was not pretty. Ford actually needs the help his father is giving him. This is not just some vindictive plan of his. He is not doing this to control him. I hate to side with John. I have never really liked him. I just felt obligated to him because he is after all my brothers' child. After his father died, I had to be like a father to him, even though he didn't need it. Ford on the other hand was easy to love. I loved being around the kid. I wanted to take care of him. After his mother died, I vowed to always protect him. I vowed to let his fate be different.

He knew he could trust me but the look he gave me today just showed me that that trust he had for me has been severed. I hate that it has to happen like this but eventually if he is willing to get help. If he is willing to accept the help that the doctors want to give him. He will see the truth.

"Change the address," I tell my chauffeur. He looks at me through the rearview mirror. It is late. I should just go home and call it a night but I need to make this stop first.

"Where to sir.''

The one person I should have paid a visit to.

The only person Ford actually listens to.