Chapter 159 - The Dream That Felt So Real

Ford. 

"Wake up son,'' 

I open my eyes and she is staring at me. her eyes are open wide, they look very scary. I am scared but I sit up on the bed as I rub the sleep out of my eyes. 

"Mom?'' 

This feels like a dream. It feels like I am dreaming right now. I want to go back to sleep. I am scared. 

"Baby, get dressed. We should go get ice cream from your favorite parlor. What do you say?'' she suggests but doesn't wait for an answer.

I watch her walk over to my closet and bring rummage through my clothes. She is dressed in her sleep dress. The silky white one she usually wears. The length of this one is longer than the other ones she has. It looks new. I look closer and the tag is still on it. 

"What do you want to wear. Casual or formal. This is a celebration."

I don't know what is going on. Dad is not around. He went on a business trip. I was happy when I heard but now, I wish he would come back. I am scared and I don't even know what is going on. 

"Momma,'' I call her at the same time getting up from the bed. I walk into the closet and she turns around until her eyes meet mine. They are bright, the sleep that should be there is wiped off. My plan to swap her meds have been working. There is a smile on her face. She is too happy too late in the night. 

"Come on baby, pick an outfit.'' She pushes two pairs of clothes into my hands. 

I furrow my brows "mom, it is two in the morning. I am scared." I tell her confused by her behavior. 

"It is never too late for ice cream,'' she starts to pull off my clothes. I don't even have the power to fight her off. I am so sleepy and confused. I don't know what is happening right now. 

She succeeds in getting my clothes off and putting the fresh ones on me. "We will have the best time together. Your father is not around. It is just you and me." 

I thought the same thing. If he was around, this wouldn't be happening. Should I be worried that he is not here and she is doing this?

"Come on,'' she puts on my coat and grabs my hand pulling me out of my room. 

"What flavor would you want. I am getting chocolate mint. Is chocolate still your favorite?" she asks me excitedly. 

I nod my head. 

Maybe ice cream is not such a bad idea. She puts on my shoes in front of the house and grabs her car keys from the table in front of the counter. She is still dressed in her nightgown. She had me change from my pajamas but she is still in hers. 

The confusion intensifies. 

We enter the car and she turns to me "Put your seat belt on,'' she smiles widely. Her teeth out and everything.

I obey her and she starts the journey. We get to jelly's parlor in about thirty minutes. The lights are off. The place is obviously closed but she gets down from the car and I watch her as she walks over to the entrance. She peers into the glass. I am confused. What is happening? 

She gets into the car after a couple of attempts of knocking on the glass "Well they are closed but I guess we can try somewhere else,'' she beams starting the car immediately. 

I jump up from the bed. I am covered in sweat; my hands are shaking. That dream felt so real. Almost like I have lived it but why don't I remember?

It seems like the night mom died but that is not how it went. We didn't go out for ice cream. We were escaping from dad.

We packed a bag. We were going to leave together. That was the plan before the accident. Why did that dream seem so real? Why am I even thinking about that night?

"Fuck,'' I run my hands through my hair.

This place is getting to me. this place is eating me up until there is nothing left. I don't want to be here. I don't want to think about those memories. I don't want to think about losing the only parent that genuinely cared about me.

Why is he doing this to me?

I hear a knock on my door, my eyes dart to the door and Manuel walks in. he is Lance's friend's cousin. He has been extra nice to me after that day with the phone call. This is all thanks to Lance. I miss him so much.

"Your meds,'' he tells me. I notice the tray on his grip. I haven't even eaten anything and the first thing they bring to me is medicine. They don't want me to ever be myself. They just want the robot that they can control.

He stops in front of me.

I grab the tiny cup that has the meds and he watches me. his eyes never leaving mine. I get that this is his job. He has to make sure I take the drugs. I place the two white pills on my palm and grab the cup of water. Tossing the pills into my mouth. I am tired of fighting it. I am tired of fighting him, so I take the pills. Throwing it down my throat with the water.

"Good job, so do you want to have your breakfast in a different location?'' he asks but I am confused.

"There is a garden outside behind the hospital. The security guard is a friend. I pulled some strings and he agreed to it. what do you say?''

"I don't feel like it,'' I tell him honestly. I just want to wallow alone in my room. Things have just been going not the way I planned and I can't handle it.

"oh, come on. Some fresh air might do you good.''

I look at him and it seems like he is very eager about this. this is the only person I feel like I can trust in this place. Anyone that has anything to do with Lance is good in my books.

"Will you let me talk to him outside?'' I ask.

He looks around and then nods "Come on, have a shower while I get your breakfast. What are you feeling today?''

"Anything,'' I shrug nonchalantly.

He smiles and skips out of the room. I walk into the bathroom, there is no mirror in this bathroom. Somehow, they think I will hurt myself. So, there is nothing that could potentially be used as a weapon. I don't even know how I look right now; I am pretty sure I will not recognize whoever I am right now.

After my shower, Manuel leads me out of the room and to the garden he was talking about. Once outside, the first thing that hits me is the morning sun and I know I acted like I didn't care but it feels good at this moment.

"See, I told you,'' he mutters excitedly.

I shrug again because I don't want him to think he has done me some kind of favor. I don't want him to know that I appreciate his kindness. That the fact that we are even outside right now means a lot to me.

"come on," We are out of the hospital but there is a large wired fence around the premises. I can see the outside world but there is no way out to it. all I can do is watch and do nothing like I have done all my life. I see the blanket and the food on it. this is like a picnic but it doesn't feel like a picnic. Just a reminder that I can never leave. I have to stay here until my father is sure that I am okay.

"There is a plan to get you out of here, I need you to be patient." He tells me once we are both seated. There is a serious expression on his face. I know Lance is planning something. He mentioned it the last time I spoke to him and I didn't know how to tell him that whatever he has planned won't work.

Dad is too powerful and I have come to the conclusion that he will always win, no matter how many times I fight. No matter how hard I try. I am tired and i don't want to drag him into my mess. This is all my fault. He should be living a normal life. He should not be worrying about me.

"How do you plan on doing that?'' I ask him, wanting to know why he feels like he will succeed.

He winks "You just leave this to me. I have my ways."

I look away from him because deep down I know that lance is just going to drag this innocent man into my mess.

That is all my life is, a fucking mess.