Chapter 177 - Freedom

Lance. 

I visit him every day for the next two months.

It is very hard to juggle him and school but two weeks ago, I could spend as much time with him as possible as the summer holidays kick in. I have been trying to be my normal self with all that has happened but it is really hard. Waiting for someone that is so close is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Ford turned eighteen, even though, he gave his rights to his father.

The revelation that John wasn't the monster we all thought he was made things different. I didn't move back to his house because the apartment felt like home to me. I didn't want to be reminded of Ford at all. At least until he could be in my arms again—outside the hospital.

"Yo,'' Jack walks into my room with an excited smile on his face. He jumps on the couch and slings his arm over mine "Someone's boo is coming home tonight.'' He reminds me even though I have been unable to forget that today is the day I will finally get to see him after so long of being apart.

"Are you going to pick him up?'' he asks me when he notices my silence. I finally have my own car. It didn't take much convincing mom. Somehow she has been trying to stay on my good side. It should be the reverse because of all the things I have done. Thinking about all my actions, I am very ashamed.

I hate that I put her on the spot.

I hate that I treated her like everything was her fault. I wanted her to take my side blindly even though I knew that it would be hard for her—since she was married to John.

"Nah, his dad said he would. Even though I wanted to.''

I asked John especially since I knew that they were on such good terms. I didn't want to stand in the middle of their newfound relationship but Ford promised to come here once he was done with his dad. I don't know the dynamics and what will change once he gets out but I see the changes in him. There is no cure for his disorder but it can be managed as long as he consistently takes his meds. I don't want to think about all we will have to do to make sure he stays here with us but I will do my best to be on his side always.

"You should plan a surprise for him. After everything.'' He suggests. I don't want to overwhelm him. His emotions are still unsteady, even though he is better.

"We will see,'' I tell him.

I just can't wait until he comes home.

Back to me.

Ford. 

The clock in my room, ticks. There is silence. I am waiting for noon because dad is supposed to come to pick me up. I miss the outside world, I miss Lance. The two months I have been here have been much needed. I have never welcomed therapy as much as I did this time around. for the first time in my life, I feel free. There are a lot of things that I still need to do to get better but there is just this happiness inside me. I have never felt this way before.

The door opens and Manuel walks in with a smile on his face "Is he here?'' I ask him because I can't wait to leave this place. This time around, it is not because I think I don't need the help. I want to leave because I miss my family. I miss Lance so much and just hearing that I am okay enough to go home makes me crave the idea.

"He is, but there is one thing you need to do first,'' he tells me with an encouraging smile. He is one of the people that have helped me the most here. After he let me leave the last time. He held some form of guilt. I know he was worried that I would rat him out—as they still haven't figured out who let me out the last time. There were just the assumptions that the guards left their post and no one wanted to blame anyone, so the guards were queried and he wasn't.

"Come on, it's basically your last session as a patient here. The next time you come and see Dr. Mathew, you wouldn't be a patient anymore,'' he tells me with a wide smile on his face.

I stand up from the bed and he leads me to his office. The moment I walk in, Dr. Matthew carries a bright smile on his face. The wrinkles around his forehead crinkle "My favorite patient,'' he says, standing up and slapping my shoulder gently.

Ever since I decided to cooperate, we have created this sort of dynamic where I am very open with him. I talked about basically everything about my mom and dad. These are things that I kept inside me for so long. Now that they are all out in the open and I know the truth, I feel ten times better and lighter.

"How are you feeling knowing that you will be going home today?'' he asks me.

I shrug even though I am very excited. I want to show him my real emotions but I also want to keep all my excitement for when I see Lance. I can't wait to be alone with him with no eyes watching us. I can't wait to have him by my side all the time.

God, this is all so exciting.

"You can show a little excitement, this is big."

I nod and this time, a smile spreads to my face. He chuckles because this is an accomplishment for him too. A couple of months ago, I didn't want to live on this earth, and even though I know that there will still be bad days, and good days, I am at a good place. He has helped and so he must be happy about this.

"How do you feel about everything that has happened?'' he asks me.

"I feel grateful that everybody didn't give up on me. I would have never survived without my dad and Lance…" he smiles, I add "And you, thank you for not giving up on me."

"Well you did most of the work and I want you to keep working on yourself. Whenever you feel unsure about something. I want you to talk about it. I will always be here. Even if you just want to ramble. Call my assistant, book a session." He smiles at me. I know this is his job and he is meant to encourage this but I feel like he genuinely cares and that is all I need. Like he has said, I just need to talk about anything I feel. Once I started, it was hard to stop. I overwhelmed him with all the thoughts in my head but it seems like that is all I needed to do.

"Okay,'' I tell him.

"I just wanted to tell you that. Okay, you to leave."

He stands up and I do the same "I would've said see you soon kiddo but I don't want to see you here again. This should be the last time we keep you in this place…okay?"

I nod my head immediately because I don't even want to come back here. I feel like I have enough progress to keep me out of here. Once I leave his office, I see dad at the reception. His smile is wide when he notices me.

I walk over to him and he pulls me in for a hug immediately.

"Finally, you are coming home.'' He breathes into my ear. He knows that I will be staying with Lance and that was a promise he made to me while I was inside. I talked to him about my relationship with Lance and he said he was okay with it as long as I got better and took care of myself. I know it is very hard for him to accept that we are together but he is trying his best and that is okay for me. As long as he is okay with it, then I will be happy.

"I want to take you somewhere before I drop you off at Lance's,'' he asks me calmly. I raise a brow, unsure of where he could possibly want to take me. He smiles, in a 'Please let me do this' way. We walk out of the hospital and he leads me into the car.

"Where are we going?'' I ask as George opens the door for us. I enter the back seat and he smiles "The cemetery, do you mind if I take you to see your mother?'' he asks me and my heart stops in my chest. I haven't seen her since she died.

I don't know how I feel about this.