Jack.
I was stupid to think that the only surprise he would have for me might be a proposal. I know I have mentioned it times without a number that I wasn't interested in a wedding but a big part of me wanted a proposal. I wanted to go back on all I have said about weddings.
I wanted him to propose but all he did was step on me, remind me that I am useless.
"Wait," I don't turn around as he grabs my arm to stop me from leaving. Now he wants to talk about the fact that he doesn't even believe that I can get a fucking job on my own. He doesn't think anything of me. He doesn't believe in me one bit.
"Look at me Jack, come on" he walks over to me but I shift my eyes from him. He is not going to act like he didn't just stab me a million times right now. "I am sorry for whatever I did. Just talk to me.''
He doesn't even know what he did.
I guess the fact that I don't even believe in myself is rubbing off on him. "I want to go home,'' I tell him coldly. I don't even want to talk about this night and the turn it took. We are in front of the restaurant. I don't want to look at him because I know how he makes me weak in the knees, how easy it will be to forgive him right now.
"Okay,'' he agrees, letting go of me. I hear his footsteps as he walks to the parking lot. I don't want to fight about this but I am very upset. I hate that he thinks he needs to help me get a job. Even with all the anger inside me, I walk behind him until we get to his car. He remains quiet as we drive home. The drive is awkward. I don't like to stay in a fight with him for too long but I want him to realize what he has done. I don't just want a half-ass apology. Once we get to the house, I turn to him and his eyes are red. He is overthinking as he usually does.
"I am going to go inside," I don't even wait for his response as I get down from the car and walk into the house. He planned this date in his mind and he didn't even think about me for one second and how I have been feeling all day. He just thought about himself—this is just a play to make himself feel better. I walk into the front door and up to our room. I don't know how long he stays in the car but the minute he walks into the room, I look at him for the first time since we left the restaurant.
"We should talk about this,'' he mutters, the guilt evident in his eyes.
I am in front of the mirror in our room. Still dressed in the clothes he forced me to wear today. I didn't want to go out. I wasn't in the mood for this date but I did it for him and this is the way he repaid me. Dinner and an insult.
I remain quiet because he has yet to apologize for what he did.
"I am sorry,'' this is the second apology he has given me today but I don't know if this one is the right one.
"What are you sorry for?'' I ask him calmly.
There is no need to show anger inside me. He knows that I am upset. We have been together for too long to not know these things about each other.
"For butting in.''
I raise a brow. He continues "I shouldn't have done that. Talked about your problems to Adina." He adds. The fact that he needed to ask for a favour in the first place is what bugs me. I know I haven't had any progress on the job search but I don't want things just handed to me. I want to be able to get a job on my own. I want to do these things on my own.
"Is that all?'' I ask him.
He closes his eyes and for a second, I watch him. Even when I am upset with him, he is the most beautiful man I have ever laid eyes on. He is still dressed in his suit. I have never met anyone that makes a suit look chill like he does. It doesn't even seem like he did too much to dress up but I was there. It took him about thirty minutes to pick an outfit.
"I still can't figure out why you are so upset. You know that EVERYTHING I do is because I fucking love you. We have gone beyond this, so I don't understand this.'' His eyes are open now and there is frustration in them.
I don't know what to say to him "Why don't you just trust me for once.''
He furrows his brows and walks over to me slowly, his eyes never leaving mine "You think I don't trust you?''
I nod.
He sighs "All I do is trust you. I have trusted you for months. I know what you are capable of and just because things haven't been going your way doesn't mean you are not worth a lot."
"Then why can't you just let me handle this on my own?''
He shakes his head as he stops in front of me "Would you let me handle my shit on my own. When I had issues with my mother, did you let me handle it on my own?"
"That is different, you,"—he cuts me off "There is nothing different about it. I see you struggling and as your partner, I have to do everything to help you. I have to be there for you."
"You don't have to beg people for a job for me.''
He frowns "You think I begged for the job?''
I nod.
He sighs again "I just mentioned it. I told him to hire you only if he felt you were qualified enough and even though he wanted to hire you on the spot, I told him to give you a chance to do an interview and take a test. I didn't just ask him for a fucking hand out."
His words have me shocked. Makes me feel like shit for reacting the way I did. Maybe the fact that he didn't propose. I didn't actually think it was something I wanted.
"I thought you were going to propose,'' I mumble so low, looking away from him. I don't want to see his face when he realizes that I am basic.
Fuck I am basic.
"Huh,'' I hear him but I can't look at him.
He reaches for my face and pulls me up by my chin "Is that what you want? I thought you didn't want the label?'' he asks genuinely concerned.
"I don't know. I guess I do.'' I manage, feeling like shit.
A smile sprawls to his face. He likes my confession. Does he want to marry me too? Is it something I have deprived him of?
"Do you know how long I have been waiting for this day?''
I actually didn't know and it makes me feel like I don't pay attention to him enough. Trick is the most considerate person I have met. In a situation where he has to choose between me and himself. He would choose me. He didn't ask me to marry him because I warded him off marriage completely.
"This is all my fault. I kept you from something you wanted,'' I go on to blame myself now.
He smiles warmly "I only want what you want. I want you to be happy.'' He confesses and my heart melts at his words.
"I want to call you my husband. Is that possible?''
He nods immediately and before I know what is happening, his lips are on mine hungrily. We keep kissing for a couple of seconds. Our bodies press together, there is some form of desperation in our actions, which usually happens every time we fight. Our makeup is always with so many cravings and emotions.
He pulls back from the kiss and slowly detaches from me "I want to show you something,'' he grabs my hand and leads me into the closet in our room. I follow him and watch him as he goes to his side and opens up one of the cupboards. He pulls out a ledge and I see that there is another compartment that I have never noticed before.
"What is that?'' I ask him very curious.
He leans forward and pulls out a box from it. My heart races in my chest as I watch him "I thought about marrying you for so long that every time I thought about it, I would buy a ring." He opens the box and I see the rings. A lot of rings that I can't count.
Holy shit.