Chapter 207 - Compromise

Jack

He said he needed some alone time but it has already been a week. I hate the way this all feels final. Like this is just a continuation of his ultimatum. If I don't leave my job, he is letting me go.

"You can't be so sure,'' Lance bellows, almost like he read my mind. 

"He hasn't come home, he is not answering any of my calls,'' I cry as I slowly cover my face. 

I know this is all my fault but I feel like he would have made the same ultimatum if I didn't lie. Something about the way he has been acting since I told him about the kiss has been bothering me. 

All the years we have spent together and he couldn't find it in his heart to just trust that I wouldn't cheat on him. He still had doubts that I was one hundred percent with him. 

It just doesn't make any sense to me. 

I get that the natural reaction would be jealousy but not the kind that would end up ruining the relationship. 

A week ago, he just proposed to me and now he is leaving me. Does it even make any sense? 

"Have you tried calling him?" I ask him. 

He looks away from me for a second and I see the guilt "You're still in contact with him.'' I state already knowing my best friend. 

"He is still my friend, of course, I am still in contact with him,'' he tells me nonchalantly. like it doesn't even mean anything.

"you are supposed to be on my side, he is hurting me. You can't be a double agent right now.'' I accuse him, already getting tense.

"I'm always on your side,'' he says, turning to face me. 

"What did he say?'' I ask him to change the topic. I know that Lance is on my side. He is my best friend and even though I know that he thinks I am wrong in this scenario, he will still stick to my side, the same way I would if the tables were turned. 

"He is really hurting; I swear I have never met Trick like this before,'' he mutters and I open my eyes wide. 

"You met up with him?'' my heart thuds as the words escape my lips. 

"I was just trying to get him to talk, I swear. But he doesn't seem like he is ready to face you,'' he says. 

"What are you saying?'' I ask him, getting more confused with each passing second. 

"Look, it doesn't matter if he is ready or not, what is important is that you guys need to talk,'' he says and I just look at him questioningly. "Look, you guys are about to get married and he is not going to ruin it by just being stubborn.''

"I can deal with the fact that he doesn't trust me enough to believe that I will never cheat on him. I can deal with the fact that he is the one pushing me to leave my job."

I can deal with the fact that I don't know if he is ever going to forgive me. What I cannot deal with is the fact that he is not here with me right now and my heart just aches for him to be here with me. I can't sleep without him; I can't eat without him and I can't even think properly. 

I have spent the last week trying to get him to forgive me but he doesn't want to listen. I have tried calling him, texting him, he is so unresponsive, it is driving me insane.

"He loves you so much Jack, you know that right?'' 

I don't even know anymore. I don't know how it can be easy for him to sleep on a bed that doesn't have me when I haven't been able to sleep. 

"What do you want me to do. I have tried everything, please if you have a solution, can you tell me?'' I ask him and I see him getting uncomfortable. "What?'' I ask him again.

I watch him as he runs his hands through his hair and releases a sigh. I already know what he is going to say before he even utters the words. 

He wants me to bend for Trick. 

"Is the job worth your relationship?'' 

I shake my head "Why does it have to be this or that? why can't I have both?'' I want to know why Trick is bent on seeing me miserable. Without this job, I don't have a purpose. I feel useless and that is what he is asking me to become. 

"I need the job to be happy, I don't have anything, do you get that?'' 

he nods in understanding "are you happy right now, you still have the job but are you happy?'' 

I can't even answer that question. I am so confused and I feel like I am going crazy. 

"I don't know what to do, I am so confused,'' I say and my voice is barely audible.

I am a mess right now; I am the complete opposite of myself. I am scared and I can't even make a decision. 

I just want everything to be okay again. I want my life to go back to normal and now I know what I need to do to get that.

"I know it is hard but I think you know that you have to choose him. You can't choose a job; other jobs will come. If you lose him because of this, you will only have regrets. Trust me, you have to make compromises in relationships." 

Lance is not right about everything but I also know that I will regret losing Trick over losing a position at a company. 

"Okay. I guess you are right,'' I say finally. 

I guess I have to do this. 

I can't live a life without Trick. 

He is the most important person in my life and I have to hold him with all I have inside me. 

No matter what.